god wars (an rpg story)

[lya_helix]

in this story, you can create your own parts of the story, and you can make characters, please state name of character, race (you can even make up your own race!), and status

 

 

 

name: Kuul

 

race: Blood Elf (Exciles of Isafdar)

 

status: Zamarakian Warlock general

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the sun was setting, the Blood Elf known as Kuul had an eerie feeling, as if someone or something was watching him. The Blood Elf race, had a special power, they are able to summon terrorfying creatures to combat their enemys, this power is what got them exiled from their past home, Isafdar. The Blood Elfs will have revenge on them, that is why most of the exciles fight for the great Zamarak. To get revenge on those Elfs, i swear! Kuul thaght. Kuul then summoned one of his greater creatures, the fel guard. I am the general of the blood elf army, and i will have revenge. As he was getting ready, he got his soul crystals, needed to summon the creatures. Then, the crystals suddenly started floting, and they headed north, as Kuul needed them to summon his creatures, he chased after them.

[Zonorhc]

Sub-standard spelling, unimaginative and borderline copyright infringing racial concept, no rational plot leads to speak of, misuse of punctuation...

[archimage_a]

Yes but your not in this one so your failings don't really count do they?

 

 

 

Anyway....The spelling does leave something to be desired, however it is understandable so I would assume that you were in a hurry or that English was not your first language or something of that nature. Otherwise it needs to be improved and spell checked whenever possible. Grammar is also another issue but as long as it is understandable then it should be ok... Obvouisly some of the more hardline people will complain about it, but there are quite a few others who have become really good writers, despite starting out with differcult to read stories.

 

 

 

Lets see there is only a little bit to go on so it is difficult to see what will happen next, and what the back story for the characters could involve. We are assuming that this is based on Runescape and that it set at about this time. We can also assume that there is going to be some sort of invasion war sort of thing, and a battle of good and evil.

 

 

 

Blood Elf...not really alot is know about them seeing as they don't appear in Rs...So perhaps alittle more information on them would be helpful. We know that they have powers that make them a typically evil character but we don't know about their history, when they got kicked out what were the circumstances and that sort of thing. We also don't know their relationship in combat or their appearance. It would be easy to just jump to the assumption they looked like Elves but what else, clothes? Weapons? That sort of thing.

[Zonorhc]

Could we stop making excuses for him? I'm pointing out flaws so he knows what to correct, not so he knows how to pretend they're not a problem.

[archimage_a]

I am not making excuses...

 

Sub-standard spelling

 

Doesn't help at all. What was sub standard? I might be able to see that, you might be able to see that. What if they don't have a spell check...what if they can't speak English as well as you can? What if they can't see the mistakes?

 

How does someone telling you that you have misspelled some words actually help?

 

"Oh by the way you have got no grasp on English and your spelling is terrible. I am not gonna tell you about how you could improve or be helpful at all...I am just gonna tell you that you suck and thus say I am better than you are...Oh and you should feel helped by that. Now then this is your story but actually if I had my way I wouldn't touch it with a long pole, and its only because I have nothing better to do that I bothered to read it. It makes me feel better to tell you that your story sucks because in actual fact I can't be bothered to try."

 

 

 

That is what you are saying, you are not helping, you are not being supportive, if anything you are looking to ruin somones possible chances at entering into the Library. There is something about that, that really does make part of me feel sorry for you.

[Spirit_666a2]

... Copyright infringement... Soul crystals and blood elves are from WoW... Also, this doesnt explain anything, there is no plot. This has very bad grammer and very bad storywriting skills.

 

 

 

0 out of 5 stars.

 

 

 

... Maybe thats being a bit generous.

[llamster]

There's no copyright... Anyway, many of the stories on this board are Runescape-based.

[archimage_a]

3 things...

 

1. It is or should be against the rules to resurrect dead threads...

 

2. It is or should be against the rules to repost the same sort of negative comments

 

3. Can you direct me to your story that is oh so much better?

 

 

 

Things can be reused...they are not confided to one thing forever, and I think its safe to say its either being rewritten or it has been abandoned...your post really doesn't do anything....