Doing something out of fear of being arrested is hardly an expression of love.

 

 

 

Which was exactly my point.

 

 

 

When you love someone, you do things for them because you *want* to not because the state dictates you *have* to.

 

 

 

You can love someone and still do things that you don't want to do for them. For example, I'm sure many moms don't like driving their kids to soccer practice but since they are their children's only means of transportation they probably can't help but to feel obligated to do so.

 

 

 

By the way, you're making "obligation" out to be such a horrible word. It only means that something is compelling you to do something other than your own personal desires.

 

 

 

Yes, many people pay their child support and see their kids every other weekend only because that's what the agreement with their ex says they have to do. These people only do the absolute minimum they can do without getting into trouble. That's hardly doing something out of love for their children, and it's definitely not sacrificing. People do not sacrifice out of some sense of conscience or custom either. If those are the only driving forces, they also do as little as possible. If the only reason you do something is because someone else told you to, then they do only what they have to.

 

 

 

When did I say making sacrifices out of fear of getting in legal trouble was love? I specifically said that it wasn't.

 

 

 

From your statements, I assume that you have no children of your own. I have two wonderful children that I would, and have, gladly give up anything for. The love of a child is unconditional. Anyone who does anything for their children out of obligation or custom does not love them. They simply think it makes them a better person to do what everyone else thinks is right.

 

 

 

I might not have children but I can still say that love between strangers is more pure than love between parent and child, because there is nothing compelling them to love each other. The fact that a child and parent are kin and connected by blood compels them to do things for them that they normally wouldn't do for just anyone.

Zierro, you're missing the point of what I'm trying to say and I'm sorry that I cannot express it better for both you and everyone else reading this. Perhaps it is simply that love, as an intangible, cannot be put into nice little categories that everyone can recognize and identify with. In my experience, there seem to be differing degrees of love and everyone experiences them in their own way.

 

 

 

I truly hope that you will one day experience the same love for your children that I have for mine. Perhaps it is something that cannot be properly explained, but needs to be experienced for one to fully understand.

 

 

 

By the way, you're making "obligation" out to be such a horrible word. It only means that something is compelling you to do something other than your own personal desires.

 

I wasn't trying to make obligations out to be anything horrible. They are something we all have to contend with. I was merely trying to explain the difference between a willing sacrifice (ie: something done of your own will without the influence of outside forces) and an obligatory relinquishing of time/money/self/etc... (ie: something done, again, of your own will but with outside influences).

I truly hope that you will one day experience the same love for your children that I have for mine. Perhaps it is something that cannot be properly explained, but needs to be experienced for one to fully understand.

 

 

 

Well I think love between children is definitely the second most pure form of love in the world, but not as strong as the love between two strangers. My apologies if it seemed like I was belittling the love between progeny and parent. I was just trying to point out that I think spousal love is even more pure because you were strangers at one point, you had to go through the entire process of getting to know each other and breaking the ice, you open up to each other, maybe even a little competition and drama, and then eventually you fall in love. With parenthood, you get to skip most of those steps and you usually automatically love your child the day they are born. In other words, true love between strangers is hard to come by, so when it does exist I think it's the most pure form of love out there.