Forever, You.

[Sy_Accursed]

This is only the first draft (ergo there are a few instances of have/of muddles and a instead of and, and theres a dust phone somewhere tht needs to be dusty) but that aside I was rather pleased with this, especially as its only the first draft!

 

Any feedback welcomed!

 

Oh and one last note this was set as a task which was:

The telephone rings in the middle of the night. Your character answers it. Who is it? What do they want?

 

Forever, You.

 

I awoke with a dull thud to my stomach, my better half had flailed across the bed to hit me,

Get it. I'm sleepin' I hadn't noticed until now the phone rang shrill and loud from outside the bedroom door

I was sleeping too

Go a spare cushion smacked me across the face, I knew when I was losing so I shuffled onto the landing and fumbled the phone off it's hook to my ear

Hello? a shiver ran down my back in the intense darkness as there was a long paused, filled only with muffled breath

Hello? Who is this? I was about to put the phone down, as another long chilling pause followed

You don't recall? You never did.

Recall? Recall what? Who is this?

You don't know? For shame, you should know

Well I don't, so you're gonna have to tell me.

Another long pause filled the air, I debated hanging up, but something froze me to the spot in this darkness

You abandoned me and forgot it all? I knew you were cold, but that is low even for you. Did you never wonder?

Wonder what? Who is this?

Wonder if I'd recover.

How am I supposed to remember if you don't tell me anything?

Do you still have Hetty?

Leave my dog out of...wait how do you know about my dog?

I always liked Hetty, much nicer than Genie.

What have my pets got to do with it?

Hurry up or shut the door; I'm sleeping!

Oh so they are there too? Is that why you left me?

The door creaked shut, plunging the hall into totally blackness; I jumped slightly at this sudden shift.

I don't know who you are!

After all the time we spent together?

When?

You should remember me, my parents remember you. I paused for a while here, considering what they had said. Their parents knew me, was this someone from my childhood? But who? I thought I still vaguely spoke to everyone, or at least had them on Facebook and knew what they were up too.

I take it we used to be friends?

Gold star for the genius. We're making progress, perhaps there's hope for you yet

Are you trying to torment me? What have I done to you?

That the voice paused for what seemed like an eternity is something. Something you should not forget; perhaps you need time to remember?

Remember what?

Oh, yes time should help. Perhaps I'll come back tomorrow.

Come back you're here? I'm phoning the police.

Oh I'm not there, not like you are. But my voice is, so perhaps I am in a way?

That makes no sense!

Doesn't it? It would of made sense to you back then. Before you forgot.

You're a freak, leave me alone.

Childish insults? Perhaps you have not grown at all; could I of changed? Driven you away?

Don't call again, or I will phone the police.

You really want to involve them? I know you're secrets; I could get you in trouble.

What secrets? I don't have any!

Don't you? Are you sure? We all keep secrets, and in this electronic age anyone can find out; if they really must.

I stopped here, breathing heavily, considering what they might know. I didn't have any secrets; did I? Perhaps I should delete Facebook, that ought stop this.

Gone already? Well you didn't hang up. See you soon

The phone buzzed down my ear, they were gone.

 

After that I had slunk back into the warmth of my bed and drifted uneasily between sleep and waking until the first streaks of morning issued through the curtains. I sat in the ramshackle mess of a kitchen, the phone before me, for a couple of hours that morning; but something compelled me to not ring the police. What if there was some secret I'd forgotten? Could they really get me in trouble? It was a weak rational, but it pleased me and I left it at that. I stuck to the rigours of the day, arriving when I should and leaving when I should, it always struck me how regimented our days were in work or study. Blocks of hours set aside to specific tasks adhered to as if law. That night I slept alone, my better half had gone to visit an old friend for a few days; when pitch black fell the phone rang again. I jumped at first, but answered it anyway.

Hello?

You didn't phone the police then, a wise choice I'd say. Something rang a bell of familiarity deep in the recesses of my mind when I heard the voice tonight, it was some how clearer, crisper, like a night lost to drink slowly rebuilding itself as you sober and people tell stories of you're escapades.

Are you going to tell me what you want tonight?

That depends,

On what? A long lingering silence

Do you remember yet?

I think I paused to consider my words carefully I think perhaps, I know your voice, from somewhere.

Well that is a start I suppose, more progress on the memory front and we might reach a conclusion. I thought about the words, they seemed so carefully chosen

Conclusion? Is this something that needs to conclude?

More alert tonight are we? You might say so, yes, we do have some, what you might call unfinished business to which we must attend

You keep saying we? Wouldn't I remember something I left unfinished?

I don't know. One would suppose you might, but then again you forgot me long ago, you're cold a cruel. I always recall how cold you're lips were; now I see they are like your heart. Something about cold lips echoed in the depths of my brain, an image unfurled from my mind, as if projected like a movie in the blackness. The edges were blurred, but I distinctly saw that scratched a pitted table at the back of Starbucks, and lips touching, gently, like a first kiss. They were so warm, was this a forgotten and scorned love? Or was I adrift in something else?

Murmuring to yourself about coffee and warm lips?

What? No, I...

You always did say my lips were warm, as I yours cold; but then I never trusted your word. Too much time spent in your own head drifting. Perhaps that is why you forgot me? You simply lost me amongst the daydreams?

So we were together? I assume, why else did we kiss?

Oh I think you might get another gold star for that, or perhaps I should be more withholding. After all we are making progress and I wouldn't want to reward such child-like steps; no a bit more I think before you get a star.

What is it with you and gold stars? Heavy breathing echoed down the phone as I awaited a response

You forgot the stars too? Oh dear, this may all be much beyond you. When we used to lay upon the greenery I often did think you'd one day loss everything. Not in a foul way, but just perchance on a wander in you're head.

So you had some affection for me? You must still do to be tracking me down like this? I did not really want to ask this, but what other tact could I take? Indulging their whim did seemed to yield answers, did it not? Perhaps you do not agree with my method, but I hardly had time to weigh up other choices at that moment.

Well I suppose I did; you were nice enough when you were there. Your pets were lovely too, I'd always wanted a pet, no-one else let me round their house but you; that was before your heart froze. These days I do wish you'd get lost in you're own head, perhaps one of those dreadful mental ailments would be a fitting punishment? There was a slight pause. But aren't you a cunning one, drawing me round to answer you're demands? I think not; for now at least. The phone once more buzzed dead in my ear and I hung up.

 

I called in sick that day, sat on the bed, riffled through old yearbooks and photos; the low tech approach seemed to be needed. Just who was it on the other end? As dusk began to set in I dialled the keypad of the phone, requested caller ID service, why hadn't I done this before? I sat awake, eager almost, waiting for the dark to come, the phone to buzz.

Hello.

Quite brash? Do you not inquire any more?

Who else would ring, night after night, at this exact hour? Silence

Quite right I suppose; but then how was I to know you're nightly affairs?

You seem to know more of me than I do.

You learn a lot when you wait in the darkness.

Why wait in the darkness? Why not in the light?

What? Do you not enjoy the black and twilight?

That sounds familiar. I bite my lip thinking what bell those words had rung; it was distant and hazy.

It should. If you remembered anything worth knowing. Suddenly the padlock slipped, and once again like a projection it drifted before me. Twilight and Black, the obscure little trinket shop at the edge of town; not this town, my home town. It had been a popular haunt for the outcasts of our school, the shop keeper often let young lovers use the rooms upstairs. Why do I say the outcasts our school? It was a popular haunt for me, well at least until I got inducted by the popular kids.

Twilight and Black...

Oh goody, we have made a leap!

How could I of forgot?

They got to you, cold and callous, they froze you're heart I scanned my brain far and deep, I truly seemed to of blotted or hazed all memories of school from before I was inducted; and that is the right word for it; it was a test, a trial, a punishment.

It's all a haze, a blur. Why didn't any pictures remind me?

Perhaps, in your feeble state, your mind decided to distort the facts? Brains are amazing like that, they fade and suppress trauma; so you can keep on smiling.

I remember the induction...I remember...

Oh is this another breakthrough, I am impressed! Silence rang through the the phone for several minutes, punctuated by shuffling noises Ignoring me now? Hello? The phone buzzed dead.

 

But I had gone long before, comforted by a big mauve jumper, that had been stuffed around my yearbooks. My car rattled along the rode, the blackness enveloping me; giving me comfort, the vague odour stale tea and burnt toast screamed of home in my head. I visited the field, woven with protruding rocks, and left a single kiss on their resting place. I sat in the café at the beaten and scratched table and supped a stale cup of tea. As dawn broke I slipped into the store front and requested refuge upstairs. I drew thick curtains shut, blotting out the rising sun, and revelled in the blackness; until night had come. I pulled the scrunched up paper from my pocket, and lifted the dust phone from its cradle. The numbers chimed under my fingers, it rang

Hello? I breathed in that wonderful voice, pausing to savour it

Who is that? Why are you calling so late? the voice persisted

It's me.

You know my number? How? When?

It doesn't matter. I remember now. A long silence followed

I remember the crash, I remember moving, I remember all the hours with you... I paused searching for the words I remember I was meant to meet you, that night. I remember, now, that I always loved you. A soft sob rolled down the phone to my ear

But what good is that now? You left. Forever.

Not forever, just...until I found myself again. Meet me...I'm there. I put the phone down and turned into the darkness to wait, to begin, to live.

[Laura]

Hello? a shiver ran down my back in the intense darkness as there was a long paused, filled only with muffled breath

Hello? Who is this? I was about to put the phone down, as another long chilling pause followed

You don't recall? You never did.

Recall? Recall what? Who is this?

You don't know? For shame, you should know

Well I don't, so you're gonna have to tell me.

Another long pause filled the air, I debated hanging up, but something froze me to the spot in this darkness

You abandoned me and forgot it all? I knew you were cold, but that is low even for you. Did you never wonder?

Wonder what? Who is this?

Wonder if I'd recover.

How am I supposed to remember if you don't tell me anything?

Do you still have Hetty?

Leave my dog out of...wait how do you know about my dog?

I always liked Hetty, much nicer than Genie.

What have my pets got to do with it?

Hurry up or shut the door; I'm sleeping!

It's difficult to tell who is speaking. For instance in the above paragraph the majority of the dialogue is between two speakers, the person on the phone and one of the persons who was in bed, but then a third speaker enters without an introduction in the last sentence.

[Sy_Accursed]

Hmm as a general thing of confusion over who is speaking I kinda want it that way to make the reader engage and think more.

 

But I think you have a good point with that small dialogue from the "better half" I'll note it down for my changes to be made

[Sy_Accursed]

Lol

Apparently tip.it is included in the search database of the Turnitin plagerism checker thing I have to submit my work to.

Submitting my final assignment piece trial run for originality check it found 27% match with this page =/

 

Edit: lol probably weren't the right response since this topic kinda risks making it look like I copied my assignment piece from someone else

Edited January 21, 2010 by Paw_Claw

[00smelly00]

Interesting story :)

 

Funny to hear about the plagiarism problems lol