Jump to content

Welcome to Rune Tips, the first ever RuneScape help site. We aim to offer skill guides, quest guides, maps, calculators, informative databases, tips, and much more to help you get the most from the Massive Online Adventure Game, RuneScape, by Jagex Ltd © 2009.

Report Ad

Welcome to Forum.Tip.It
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

Creative Writing Portfolio


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1
Mr_Adam
[ Display Name History ]

Mr_Adam

    Varrock Guard

  • Members
  • 1,412 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Chair
  • Joined:6 April 2007
  • RuneScape Status:Retired
  • RSN:admant45
I've decided to take this thread and create a portfolio of sorts out of it - a collection on works from my creative writing class - a class I took to force myself to write these things - to publish here on the forum, and update as the year progresses.
So, whether they're read or not, most of the things I write for class will be posted here for everyone. Enjoy, if you will :^_^:

Also, any non story notes will be bolded before the actual writing.

Dates:
March 21: I haven't updated this in a while, and I've written some new things and edited some older ones. Added Dreams of a Sailor, Wanderlust and edited versions of Untitled (now: His Mother's Garden) and The Mistress Night.


Short Story - His Mother's Garden


Short Story - Perfect Void


Short Story - Buddy the Bandit


Sonnet (Italian) - The Mistress Night


Poem - Dreams of a Sailor


Acrostic - Wanderlust


#2
aeternitatis
[ Display Name History ]

aeternitatis

    Scorpion Pit

  • Members
  • 564 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Breaking barriers
  • Joined:11 November 2008
  • RuneScape Status:P2P
  • RSN:SeekReality
I liked it. I like the "see America, see the world" repetitions. At a few parts I don't like the words you've chosen (E.G. "there was nothing that could block her from that fatal blow"), I would have used shielded or something else, but I guess that's just personal preference. :P

You could have went more in-depth with his relationship with his mother, since the story pretty much revolves around that and you don't really see much interactions between the two characters. Something I'm learning from the Poetry section of my (online) Writer's Craft course is to use words that invoke emotions in the reader. You could have done that to the "see America, see the world" part; perhaps by involving the mother in that line? I don't know haha, I liked it, but there's room for improvement. (Then again there always is haha)

Good job, let me know what the teacher thought. :thumbup:
Posted Image

"Only by going too far can one find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot

#3
aeternitatis
[ Display Name History ]

aeternitatis

    Scorpion Pit

  • Members
  • 564 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Breaking barriers
  • Joined:11 November 2008
  • RuneScape Status:P2P
  • RSN:SeekReality
Damn, The Void was great. I almost felt chills.
You didn't let me know what your teacher thought of the short story... :unsure:
Posted Image

"Only by going too far can one find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot

#4
Mr_Adam
[ Display Name History ]

Mr_Adam

    Varrock Guard

  • Members
  • 1,412 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Chair
  • Joined:6 April 2007
  • RuneScape Status:Retired
  • RSN:admant45

Damn, The Void was great. I almost felt chills.
You didn't let me know what your teacher thought of the short story... :unsure:


Thanks! I just got the first grade back today - I got a 100 :^_^: The Void (lol I don't like my titles) will be handed in tomorrow, and I'll post my grade when I receive that back.

I have to write a full length short story next, concerning being lost on an island. That will probably take a long time (it's not due until the 27th), and I just got the prompt today. Unfortunately, all I can think of is Lost. >_>

#5
Earth_Poet
[ Display Name History ]

Earth_Poet

    Scorpion Pit

  • Members
  • 673 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Joined:31 August 2007
  • RuneScape Status:None
  • RSN:Earth Poet
"It was short, it was pitiful, it was quiet." Grammatically speaking, this is a comma splice, though I get the rhythm you continually try to convey. There are a couple of ways to fix this:

It was short. It was pitiful. It was quiet.
It was short, pitiful, and quiet.

Keep in mind to create a consistent point of view. It jumps back and forth between John and Martha a little too erratically. Maybe divide it into sections to distinguish the two viewpoints.

Think about adding some more imagery to the story. For example, the time spent in the garden would give an excellent opportunity for some olfactory descriptions. What color were the flowers? Can you use any metaphors to describe the garden? Speaking of imagery, what do your characters look like?

Speaking of the garden, it is such an excellent symbol throughout the story. Maybe the ending should include the garden returning to life?

You do an excellent job of using short and long sentences for rhythm and impact. I also did enjoy the repetition as Realize pointed out. Not only did the repetition create emphasis for the isolation, but it connected John and Martha very well. It's difficult to create an empathetic character in such a short story, but I think you managed pretty well. You deserved your "A". I would suggest revising it to clean it up in some places and submitting it for publication, but if you do just make sure to change the character names.
Posted Image

#6
Mr_Adam
[ Display Name History ]

Mr_Adam

    Varrock Guard

  • Members
  • 1,412 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Chair
  • Joined:6 April 2007
  • RuneScape Status:Retired
  • RSN:admant45



Thanks a lot ^_^ I have to review previous works towards then end of the class (late winter), and I'll be sure to take this into consideration when I look back to this. I've noticed I do tend to comma splice a bit often. And yes, the names were essentially ripped from a) Sandman by Neil Gaiman (Constantine) and b) Bioshock (Tenenbaum) - I had to force myself not to use Bridget. They worked though, lol.



Also, I've finished my Island Short Story! Even if it's not my best overall, I'm very pleased with it. I don't think it will be posted, sorry to say. It's simply too long (12 full pages, mostly single spaced, and 5,996 words). I'll be sure to put up some other things, however.

#7
Mr_Adam
[ Display Name History ]

Mr_Adam

    Varrock Guard

  • Members
  • 1,412 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Chair
  • Joined:6 April 2007
  • RuneScape Status:Retired
  • RSN:admant45
I posted a Sonnet!




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users