June 9, 200620 yr It was raining at the void knight outpost. We were all cold and tired from the 3 hour boats journey hear. Our mission was to protect the void knight from the fiends that came from the portals. The plan was first we kill the main wave then we split and take down the portals some stay behind to protect the void knight. We all knew what was about to happen many men would die during this siege. I had several friends their slayer3313, dj Wayne 14, scott65 and toxic65. âââ¬ÃâHadâââ¬Ã
June 14, 200620 yr It was a rather good attempt. Try not to use your friend's REAL Runescape names next time. It makes it sound a bit stupid. And how could you have written it if you were dead? Apart from those two points, it was a very good story!
June 16, 200620 yr first of all no numbers in names, second of all do not use numerals in the text except in very special cases. Thrid of all KEEP ON WRITING! Pm me if you need anything proof-read, I may not be very good, but I am always willing to help.A Seal Clubber is me!A Oxygenarin is me!6*9=42
June 22, 200620 yr Pretty good story but it could use some imporovemnts and try not to stay too close to RuneScape as that is the main problem that and the fact that you used real RuneScape names.
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