The great alching (UPDATED and edited)

[jjrox32]

One day a new character was created, a lowly level 3 that knew only one intention: to make the game as miserable as possible. He tried scamming macroing, offensive language, every trick in the book to make other players hate the game. He discovered that these methods weren't making the players miserable. He also found that one thing would make players do anything: money. The greatest money-maker in the game, as he read, was the rares market. Players spent hundreds of millions on these items, having the intention of either selling it to momentarily satisfy there eternal greed, or to wear it around as a fashion statement.

 

 

 

This guy, now the most hated player of those who knew him, started mining pure essence as if in a trance, mining up to 10k a day. His health started taking a dip, sending him into a fever. But he would not stop. He kept mining and mining and mining until he had a record breaking 1m pure ess. He sold this, and then proceeded to his utmost goal: to wipe out the rares market.

 

For months he worked, and worked, and worked, neglecting his health, appearance, and friends. (Off topic: that was a quote from the book Frankenstein) His determination and mas amounts of spare time made him the most successful merchant yet, gaining nearly every rare in the market, buying for hideously high prices that would have given a buyer nightmares. He started to play for 20 hours a day, nearing the end of his mission.

 

 

 

Then, 2 years after his develish account was created, he was still level 3. But he had 10,000 party hats, even blue ones,5,000 Christmas crackers, 15,000 santa hats, 20,00 disks of returnings and easter eggs, 25,000 pumpkins, and 30,00 masks.

 

This was practically all the wealth in the game. With his nearly unlimited funds, he bought 1m nats, a fire staff (the lucky buyer walked away with 10m), and enough runes to boost him to 55 magic. The devel's number in this case. He went to a secluded place, with his nats and noted rares. He announced his great alch to the forums, who were sent to a state of mass hysteria. The alcher in question paid no heed, documenting the whole thing, which he planned to release on the internet. People screamed at him to stop, but he'd had worked 20/7, to get this. He clicked on the high-alch icon, high alching one of every rare. Just when it seemed nothing would stop him, a shadow lurked on the wall, ready to pounce..............

 

 

 

Out of the shadows came a literal army of Mods and Player Mods, all trying to get him to stop. Of course this had no effect, as they couldn't ban him for no reason to stop him.

 

 

 

Then came the hackers, a secret cult of runescape players. The ultimate prize in most players eyes was to own a rare, and if players had nothing to accumulate money for, how were their hacks going to sell? They all jumped at him, trying to take over his mind. Still no effect. The alcher had a 20 word mental password, so if one of them got it right, it would be blind luck. The odds were against them, 500 million to 1. Just when all seemed hopeless, a figure appeared.......

 

 

 

Someone's pet cat walked in, which everyone seemed to think was kind of out of place for this dreadful event. Then, to the surprise of all, it started speaking. They knew now that this was no ordinary cat. It was Bob, the pet of runescape.

 

 

 

For all of you that have read tip.it's interview with Bob, you'll know that he is a little weird, he thinks evil Bob is an idiot, and drinks alot at the Burthope Bar. But he was also the most powerful being in runescape, even more than the Dharok owner's worst nightmare, the evil chicken. Bob could 1 hit most players, and since this guy was a level 20 something now, it wouldn't be hard.

 

 

 

One more thing Bob hated was rules. He would rule runescape, maybe even scaperune, if he could build an army to take over the land. But he would only be able to take over the wilderness, but who would want to rule over a barren wasteland like that?

 

 

 

Bob didn't HAVE to obey the rules, he had an option to break them. He wasn't a bad being though, so he stuck by the rules set down by his so-called masters and their so-called unbeatable coding. Bob had finally mastered the ultimate code, the one only broken by anyone once before, Cursed You, on the fateful day of the 666 Falador massacre.

 

 

 

He took 2 swipes at this evil magician, and he died without a fight. At that time, all the rares were dropped, with the exception of 1 of each kind. Bob picked them up, and instead of selling them, he flew up to the sky above the wilderness. He hovered there for a few days, and he sent out a decree.

 

" I have slayed the evil magician, very few rare items were lost. To celebrate this, I will drop them over the wilderness."

 

 

 

Pkers rejoiced. Skillers rejoiced. But especially the pkers. Their days of max 5 mil kills were over. Many, many rares were dropped in deep wilderness. This caused a massive battle to enrage. Ancient magicks were being thrown this was and that, people died every second. Mage shorts were firing like no tomorrow. Whips flailed. Barrows armour was abundant on the ground. After this massive battle, only 10 remained. They had massive amounts of rares now. Even those who died still hung on to some glee, even if they only had 1 rare now, compared to the hundreds of the people still alive.

 

 

 

Pkers, finally had their fill of money. Merchants who still had rares were unhappy, because if some were alched then the price would skyrocket. The average players were happy, knowing that everything was right in the land. Everyone was happy but the merchants. But who cares about those 100 odd people who still had rares?

 

 

 

Especially happy were looters, because many of them had 10 rares now, many sets of barrows armour, which went up in price due to the fact that many were wiped out in the fight. The lower levels were happy with there rune armour, the mages were happy because of the massive amounts of runes dropped.

 

 

 

No matter what perspective you looked at it from, the same message still came out: "Best drop party ever!"

 

 

 

Coming soon: The great alching, alternate ending

[archimage_a]

100k of rares...hmmm

 

Anyway great plan, it would reset Runescape Economy to a better, more skill based, level.

 

 

 

If I had that chance I would take it. Even though it would cause untold havok on the players that had been saving every penny to get that Phat or Mask.

 

 

 

It would possibly ruin the game for alot of people. But it would also make the game make more sense. I mean get real people, its a hat. It is a very nice hat granted, but it is a hat none the less. People who like wearing it are fine, they are normal they are showing off either their longevity or their wealth(Or integeratey because they haven't sold it). It is the merchants, the ones that think that the rares market does something. Moving money round in a circle, there is not a efficent way of removing money from the game so it is ever expanding...

 

 

 

Rares do not solve the problem, although they do slow it down.

 

 

 

Ps it is a very good, although short, story. Also low alching would have been better.

[aznmidget448]

haahaa, funny story. Wouldn't it be great if that came true?

 

"Hey look, a phat on the floor waiting for me to pick it.... AGHHH, I'M STUCK!!!!"

 

Nice story, although you might want to spell check. Just put it in Microsoft Word, fix the errors and then repost it. simple as 1, 2, 3 :P

[archimage_a]

BOO!!! terrible ending kill bob make the story back the way it was... Destroy all rares!!!!

 

 

 

*In audible whispers*

 

 

 

I'm not crazy!!! what are you doing with the straight jacket, get back I have a quill and I am not afraid to use it

 

 

 

Serouisly though I thought destroying all rares was much better, but thats just me...

[Kenshinjapan]

I liked the story but it just seemed kinda fake when that lvl 3 could alch...

[archimage_a]

Minium level is 15...thats low alching... Doesn't make much difference though, if he only got his mage up using something like the mage training arena then he would still be an easy kill.