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Read my story:give me good name and i may put in stort!!!!!!

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this is 1 part to the history of my story im makeing tell me what u think of it

 

 

 

Ages of Ahlom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Creation: The god̢̢̮ââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s were at war fighting in the stars. Until one god Gognom remained he created a world from the blood of fires the bones of rock and the tears of rivers oceans and seas from the other fallen gods he called the world Ahlom after the god of war and honor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ahlom: Gognom created mountains, forests, deserts and plains. Fish, birds and animals began to appear. About 3400 years after Gognom created man in seven different tribes around Ahlom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The First Age of Man: Gognom placed two tribes to the south and two tribes to the east and two to the west and a large tribe to the north. They discovered how to make fire and primitive hunting weapons like spears and stone daggers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Second Age of Man: The two tribes to the east became one and the two tribes to the south became one. The tribes to the west became rivals they fought and stole from each other and had little progress. The tribe to the north also had little progress the lands are treacherous and desolate but they became strong and barbaric people. The eastern tribe began mining coal, steel, iron and gems they started making finer weapons and armour and jewelry the eastern tribe learns to fish and farm. A hero from the east went into the mountains to escape from death. He travels far and finds dwarf the people of the mountains. The dwarfs learn the best mining and rock crafting skills in Ahlom. The dwarfs got their first leader Lord J̮̦̉̉randr and he had two sons he died at the age of 152. The eastern tribe later finds Clay. They made pots dishes and cups.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Third Age of Man: Dwarfs and the men live in peace. A few terrible creatures were discovered in the wilderness many sightings of these creatures have been unpleasant. The southern tribe goes to war and the two western tribes are wiped out. The eastern tribe began building forts for defense. About half of the southern tribe moves southeast and lives in deserts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Fourth Age of Man: Gold is discovered making it into decorative jewelry. Beautiful swords are built with great detail. The eastern tribe built a castle. The castle it is called Ranhold Keep it was built to protect the town of rockharth. The people of Rockharth each year have a tournament the winner becomes a white soldier the finest warriors in all of Ahlom and live by a sacred code:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I harness no fear I strive by faith.

 

 

 

I never betray I live by honor

 

 

 

I fight for freedom and god not for riches and power

 

 

 

I shall do not die

 

 

 

I shall do not fail

 

 

 

Awaiting I fulfill my duty

 

 

 

Of serving my god and people

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This code lasted a few hundred years until Ranhold turned into ruins from age. But the people of Rockharth built the most famous castle of all time Jolkan. The castle was built on the side of Kolol River it was about 200 meters tall. The northern tribe called them selves the Solklor and sent 20 000 men to raid the village of Rockharth the people of Rockharth only had about 5000 men that were fit to fight the people Solklor sent there army and Rockharth had no idea what was coming one fisher man from the south warned the people of Rockharth about the army of Solklor.

  • Author

can someone please help me with my story

break up the text a little, it makes it a little off putting to read. unfortunatly i am not an ideas man, well not ideas like this.

  • Author

i just split it up and in editing it and addingf more info to it thx for ancering

  • Author

buy the way this is only the history of my story the real story is called The Diamond Sword

Ah ok, i'm sure there'll be somebody with a good brain along soon to help you with your story.

  • Author

im almost done editing this part of my story ill post it when im done

  • Author

iv almost added 1 more page to my story

  • Author

does any one have any ideas i can use

  • Author

please can u give ideas i would be greatful

love the code they went by. you REALLY need to fix ur grammar n stuff, i cud barely read it. but great job! it was interesting...

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