The Ghost Of SamWays

[andufusthebronze]

The ghosts of SamWays

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ancient worn-out wooden sign stayed in place on the gate, in golden italic writing it bore the word ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅSamWays.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

[andufusthebronze]

anyone gunna say ANYTHING??

[LeeLee]

heey

 

 

 

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellll,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think that the plot sounds and looks like its heading towards a great story however there are a couple of points that i think you should adress.

 

 

 

a) Some of the description in the story was very good, however i thought that you noted down certain things about the house and the garden, that you wouldn't usually highlight to create a spooky atmosphere in a ghost story. Like when you wrote about the fridge. I think that you should write more about the key objects around the home. Like the tree which suddenly appeared out of no where. Perhaps you could include there first impressions of the tree.

 

 

 

b)i feel like the description often blocked parts of the story developing. For example at the biginning of the story you included details about the gate that very much illustrated the eerie feel of the story, but then you carried on with..."the gate itself was". But we don't need to know about waht the gate was made of.

 

 

 

c) again in some places there could be more description while in others less.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In general i liked it. Great choice of names particularly samways and like i said i can't wait to find out what happens next. Keep going and turn up the

 

 

 

horror gear. :mrgreen:

[andufusthebronze]

updated

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

now finished :D

[therealtermenator10]

Thats a very intresting story I like it alot! =D>

[andufusthebronze]

edited some stuff