therealtermenator10

finish chapter 15, took me over four months, so yeah...... but ima finish this story and make it perfect!

This may sound stupid, but I guess Lumbridge or Falador.

CHapter 14, Comleted! Took forever though, writers block. Sorry. :-w

Wow, much better if I say so myself. I like it. =D>

Yeah... I'm bit of confused as well. You are moving things to fast and withouth enough detail, his dad dies and he is teleported to the warriors guild all at the same time as his sister birthday? And how would he lose his mother and sister. It seemed like he was gone in one second and back in another. I mean yeah, you probably wanna keep things short and sweet. Cause long stories can bore the reader, but even this seems like an elementary written story. And zombies and skeletons shooting arrows, thats sort of new. Sorry, you can review my story and say whatever you want about em. But keep this in consideration and make it better. Thats what I am trying to do. You can always fix stories and turn them into something great. One last thing. How'd the dad die. I mean the undone were coming from the town, while the farms gotta be and few hudred feet away. Just doesn't make sense, you know. Why don't you read it aloud, to someone and see if makes sense to the both of you.

These are a small collections of short stories I wrote for fun. To some they may seem dumb or stupid or silly or funny. But I just wrote it to have fun, and so please reply. Thank you. Chapter 1 The Fisherman One Sunday morning a young but keen fishermen slept under an oak tree, a fishing pool dangled in between his big toes. His back rested the trees lower half, one leg over the other, his hat he earned from the freaky forester covered half his face. A perfect day nevertheless to fish. On a Sunday, most people normally attended church. He hated church, and vowed never to go. He eventually did, but thatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s not part of the story. As he was sleeping he jolted up from what seemed like a nightmare, but more of a silly dream of him seeing his father again. He slid over and splashed his face with water. Than noticed his reflection. He was fifteen, and on the slender side. Average height, but he never expected to grow anymore. His hair was a lighter brown color, and had the blues eyes, that attracted girls like the nectar in flower attracted a bee. He had Freckles that seemed like they were sprinkled over his nose. He was only wearing some old pants that covered half of his shins and nothing else. Days were hot in the summer. And it never really bothered him. His skin was tan, so he hardly ever get sun burned. Moving back over to his resting spot, to notice his fishing pool missing. It was floating in the water. He must of kicked it. He sighed and got up and notice the pole was swerving right and left in the water. He slowly graved the pole and felt a tug. Finally! He thought, and started reeling in. The fish seemed to be a lot stronger than expected, as it dragged him deeper in the water. Slower and deeper, the water started to reach his neck so there was no more fooling around he decided. So now he got serious fought back. He was swinging his arms and walking backwards, a funny it was, but for him, this meant dinner. The fish was fighting just as hard. As it exploded out of the water. He marveled at how large it was, and estimated the fish being four and half feet in length and weighting over 150 pounds. He imagined it being thousands of years old. Surprisingly he was beating the old a fish and dragged it to land. The old thing didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t flop or wiggle. He felt sort of bad for it. But the guilt, faded as he imagined the riches heÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢d earn for it. Or better yet the food supply. He just stared at it panting, sweat pouring from the side of his face, along with his huge smile. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅAmazing Fish you got there!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

What the... No one "deserves to die". These probably aren't your feelings or anything, just easy to rhyme, right? But man that's just sad, and horrible. Work on spell check too. For example, cuase and cuz are spelled cause. If I had to rate 2/10. Please don't get mad, just replying to your story, or "rap". And that brings me to another thing, are trying to "rap" like Eminem or POD. Some of their songs are good, but sad. But this is brutal

They both sound a bit intresting, but I choose #1, because, ya know it's a girl orphan, and we don't officially know her past, so thats a bit more intresting, it's new, ina way. #2, don't get me wrong it wasn't bad, but, meh. I can't wait to see which one you do, I still be reading. Why is everyone making these little vote in polls lately. The tip. it crew should make thread about it. I don't know. Keep on writing man, wonder which ones gonna win. Bettcha it's 2 though.

I like the idea too! And I support. But I doubt Jagex will ever do that. Cool Idea though :thumbsup:

Intresting, I like it. But uh, I don't know if you know this, but Montag means in German, Monday. Again good story. Nice beginning.

OH and if you guys have any advice comments, please they are all welcome. I know I said this 10 times before but I really want this story as perfect as possible.

Chapter 13, COMPLETED :thumbsup: Yeah!

And if you guys are talking to him, I am really sorry. Didn't mean to be self centered. Sorry double post.

Chapter 12 finished! \ Keep in mind I am still working on it, and it is not finished. I'm still finding ways to improve it and ways to expand. I think There will be 8 more chapters, but I am not sure yet. Any comments or advice is welcome. Thanks for Reading!

Oh and I got another question? How are these sins? I mean they can "link up" in a sense and cause sins. But these are merely emotions. In the bible it's said, "god made us in his self image." Now if you open your mind for a quick second, that means of course blood and flesh. But that's also means emotions, since we don't know for sure, we should all at least assume that is, since the bible isn't to specific. Since pride, envy, greed, etc. are all emotions ( think about it). So how are these sins if they contradicts each other. Perhaps the title of "seven deadliest sins" should be changed to "seven deadly emotions that leads up to sins." or something of that nature. I mean, you people all have different opinions about this sort of topic, but you got to opens you minds think outside the box. Cause in all truth the bible isn't all that specific, so you gotta at least think about it more than a few seconds. Thanks for reading this message, I know it is extremely long, so I apologize to some who hates this kind of thing but still read it. P.S. Sorry double post.

Wait... I'm confused, are you guys being rude to me? I mean he's the one saying he doesn't care what a "thirty five year old man who lives in his mom's basement thinks." Or he just doesn't care. So why are you making a big deal out of it. You guys need to get "your facts straight". I was merely posting a comment, that you people apparently had to blow out of proportion. And apparently had to post comments about me on this forum, please if you have to act negative to me, just P.M. me (I think we all should be mature enough to that). And "who the hell am I"? I am nobody that people like "you" should know about. I do have a right to my privacy, don't I? But if you must know, I'm a male in my teens and I live in The U.S.A. Best country in the world. - Ricky Bobby. Oh and how was my "post screwed up"? And why do you think I am trying to be "funny or teaching you a lesson?" Also why do you think "you know me."

WOW..... Who are you trying to impress? Man, take some advice from someone who seen know it alls like you act like their tough or "bad". If you don't care what people think, don't post. Just write it print it, and since you don't care, burn it. It's not a bad story, but when you posted those comments, the story just plummeted.

Finally finished chapter 11

Sorry, can you speak English or something I'm having trouble reading what you are writing. I don't think you get it... I still think it's a good story, chill out willya

Hmm... Kind of difficult believing that not only one man following all three gods, but all three gods working together? So what someone thinks there better than a god. No matter what conditions, evil and good just don't go along together, especially gods. I could believe that all three talked to him at different times, cause of their anger over this man. Oh wait anger is a deadly sin, so I would believe that only Zamorak or possibly Guthix commanded Peter, to attack Mathew, not Saradomin. And the script or whatever, just how the people speak, is new for me. It's like people in the renaissance speaking like people in the 21st century. Examples "Hey hotty." "are you busy tonight?" But your sort of mixing it up, example " Well, fair lady, I'll leave you now." It's weird ya know? And like how the gods speak I just can't picture it. Overall, awesome idea, great plot, can't wait to see what happens next. 7/10 - Only, for the two reasons I mentioned.

aqua... lol they suck.

I like 300, you should go see it. (er... i haven't but it looks cool)

the older cartoons of nick, cartoonnnetwork and boomarang. Oh also, the simpsons, futurama, king of the hill, boon docks, south park, and family guy.

Makes...sense... Sorry if i came off rude.

Again I am still curios of the name, I mean it's stort of a rip off from lemony snickets A Series Of Unfortunete Events, or whatever. And please don't tell me that you made up the name, cause I know thats a lie. Still though good story, and are the two people male?