Once there was a group of warriors among them were:

 

 

 

Milo 2006

 

 

 

Xeryuslayer

 

 

 

Wibby 97

 

 

 

w1ll 4

 

 

 

westy 514

 

 

 

All were powerful but none as strong as these.

 

 

 

Together these warriors roamed the land destroying goblins and defeating highwayman.

 

 

 

But one day...

 

 

 

In the blurite dungeon someone was crying for help!

 

 

 

Xeryuslayer used his powers to teleport them into the dungeon.

 

 

 

There a level 3 noob was trying to mine blurite while a level 57 ice warrior was attacking him!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(continued soon...)

First class for originality. I love the way you use RS themes in such a natural, carefree way. It makes your story seem effortless. And the way you listed those names at the beginning! Wow, great choices, it really set the scene. The jump from being in the wilderness to the blurite dungeon was really smooth. And your description is so fantastic. I mean, you make it like I haven't read this a thousand times before. Nice! :)

Ummm...Okay... :?: I guess it's not that bad. But I have....How you would say..."Grudges" against stories with....Unoriginality. By meaning, it's obvious that you made the story based completely on Runescape, like using usernames and things like that. I mean, it would sound better if you made real names, instead of ones with numbers in them. And if an ice warrior was attacking a noob, then lol, you'd bet that noob would be gone in two seconds!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But hey, keep trying, though. Prove to me that this story can be great! :D :thumbsup:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Although, the name Xeryuslayer is great! :thumbsup:

First class for originality. I love the way you use RS themes in such a natural, carefree way. It makes your story seem effortless. And the way you listed those names at the beginning! Wow, great choices, it really set the scene. The jump from being in the wilderness to the blurite dungeon was really smooth. And your description is so fantastic. I mean, you make it like I haven't read this a thousand times before. Nice! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My sarcasm meter is a-jumping off the scale. Harmful radiation like this can mutate DNA strands, you know.

WOW I really don't get it (no offence) but it was intresting nevertheless.

It really didn't catch my interst. Plus it was not very original and extremly short, short, short. To tell the truth, i was appaled. Seriously people, that was sad. And the names were lame. Imagine walking up to someone and saying, "Hi, i'm hemk78.". That's how that was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

** out of *****

... its short for a beginning,. however, I think its a little early for criticism. Try to improve and be longer! thank you!

 

 

 

Ariax, Ariaxians, are you the leader?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(... I didn't know KC hughes posted on this forum!?!)

(... I didn't know KC hughes posted on this forum!?!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why is that a big deal? Search my name in this forum and you're likely to find some interesting tidbits. :lol:

May I suggest using a word proccessor before posting your story? It helps to make sure you got everything down with more or less correct grammer and spelling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may also want to refer to some of the guides we have stickied, including these:

 

 

 

http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?t=143413

 

 

 

http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?t=411644

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks.