Merker

His breath turned into mist as he breathed slowly in the nights cold reign, he was laying stiffly with a shotgun* resting on his shoulder. His hood disguised his face as a teenager while his lean legs made him a child, but he was old with kills and screams of victims. But he pushed them out of his mind with the money he was- 'Oh wait...' The man thought looking on the street below, he had chosen the shotgun for it's strength and he knew it was innacurate at long distance, but he wasn't at a long distance, Yet. 'There he is!' He almost said outloud, he was now following a man in a tuxedo with black tinted glasses and a small mod of similiar men with his sharp eyes. He was now following the man with the D.I.Y scope attatched to his shotgun. Just when they were below him [he was on a building] he got the shotguns crosshares on the boss and shot, it echoed through the once silent and with that he quickly finished off the mobsters aswell and he just had enough time to pick up the shotgun shells and quickly spray the area where he had been laying with soap and water. He then ran as fast as he did when he had escaped prison in China and he was already halfway to the airport. - ~ - ~ - ~ 'Tickets please?' The lady at the entrance said, he searched his jeans pockets and only found a packet of chewing gum and a 20 cent piece. He cursed, remembering he had left the tickets at the apartment in which he had left locked and told the landlord he was leaving [giving him the keys]. He knew it was a hopeless situation and he then shuffled to the back of the crowd to get some air. Once he had reached this he saw about 16 police officers racing up an escalator. 'Freeze!' They shouted around the air port waving their guns around. The hitman looked innocent enough but he knew he would be found, experience. He then did something that was far beyond the emotional capabilities of other humans, he drew a knife made of a new ore in which was not found in airport security systems.' He walked forward in striking position towards a policeman who was searching a woman and patting down her sides, he slit his neck quickly and almost with that he got to the other 5 on that story of the airport, the crowd had watched helplesly and some had ran into toilets for a quick escape. He then saw masses of S.W.A.T teams organising themselves on the 1st story of the building. They saw him coming down the escalator and automaticly they let loose mass volleys of bullets, some hit him in the body but never the less he continued to run, his knife bared like dogs teeth and he stabbed a policeofficer uniform and he dropped like an anvil. He had taken about 7 bullets before he had been killed, he was determined, like we all should be.

OMFG I HATE THAT STORY!!! I mean the description and stuff was alright, but WHY!?! WHY DID THE NANITES HAVE TO WIN!?!? WHY!?! Bloody stupid nanites... Gawd... Maybe a human appears or something possibly and he kills the nanites?

Jee, the posts on this forum come quick! I'm used to writing a few replies and then waiting tommorow to see them x] but yeah, I would make something interesting happen, maybe a monster crashing through the ships hull [illogical as it may seem, it's an idea]. Your story, your world.

Ah! heaps good, very funny. A criminal K9.

Well this may be a bit blank, but most of the crew seem a bit robot-like. I would suggest a character but I think you are being sarcastic. I was thinking along the lines of a rookie or something who does things differently like instead of aye he is like 'uh yes sir' or something. But if this seems pretty useless not all comments have to be considered :)

This bores me a bit, due to the fact it is absolutely cliche! It is so common, like Star Trek or something. I really do not like that, also it seems everyone talks the same, it's like they are all royalty, some of them need a different sort of personality.

It is now but I'm only a quarter through it.

That's heaps good man, but I would keep it as a poem rather than a story, but nice! 9/10 !

Yeah... Well, thanks for commenting on my story thread.

Hmmm... Alright, thanks! Is the story good? Does it need more characters? Anything else?

Are their any Fancy Dress competetions on this website? I would like to know, because I would have great honour in making one but if their is I wouldn't want to look like I'm trying to copy people. Thanks -Merker

Nice story, but I thought I would like to know more about the person who witnessed the ship sink but absolutely good, I would definitly read it if it was published. Good work!

Ok, well now that we've cleaned the slate, how about some CC? :-)

It is important because I have made my own characters, ok! I made them before that guy even commented, alright. Please give me advice about my story because I have made it go on a little further, I will take social lessons later. I know you were giving me advice but I didn't need it, I don't even know where he got that idea from! Edit: Where I come from, that's called off-topic spam.

*sigh* I HAVE MADE MY OWN CHARACTERS! bloody 'ell. UPDATE.