@Goonstalf: Astronaut, I'm a ichthyophobic. @321Ownage: Kick a baby, but really gently. Would you rather have ugly but nice girlfriend, or a a hot girlfriend who's extremely annoying?
Play the piano, because I've played it for 8 years already. Would you rather not go to the internet for 3 days or have someone lecture you for 10 hours straight?
Granted, but instead you get a bottle of whiskey and a platter of horse dung. You get wasted on the whiskey and end up eating all the horse dung, which causes you to throw up your stomach (literally). I wish I had a granola bar.