ForsakenMage

Copy and paste, then add in the coding. Takes a while though. :?

Ah patience, young writer. Some of the greatest writers were not taken notice until later in their life. Edgar Allan Poe, in his youth, was an excellent poet but his talent was not acknowledged until later in his life. One comment: If you've read novels as much as I have, you may find that some paragraphs are rather short. It looks long only because of the spacing in the pages. If you were to retype it on the computer, you would find that most "paragraphs" would be about two to three lines, nothing more, on an 8" x 11.5" paper. On the forums, same concept. If you were to print it on a book that's say about 4" x 7.5" page size, then yes his paragraphs would appear longer. However, here it looks short because of the amount of spacing there is that displays the topic. In writing, it isn't about the quantity, but the content and quality of the work. :wink: Formating is also key. You cannot indent (as far as I know) on the forums, so not spacing out the paragraphs would make it harder to see for those that are trying to read the story. Believe me, I had to literally reformat a story of mine that I've posted here in order to make it easier to see as I copied and pasted from Microsoft Word. :P

First off, try to do your best to check spelling and grammer before going into stylistics. :) Not to sound harsh or anything. When it comes to names, I think to make the story effective, try not to put numbers in them unless you're indicating a namesake (like So and So the Second etc). Also, try not to use the underscores. The last sentence of section one doesn't really help because it says "Explained below", but if it were to be printed, chances are that might even be the last line of a page and would, if literally speaking, leave the reader looking at the bottom to find the explanation of the name. :) Might be good to remove that sentence, or reword it so it flows into Section 2 better. Though the second section does have a few clicḫ̩̉̉s (finding the home distorted, father gone missing), I can see some good progress ahead. :) I do not entirely understand your sections though. Are they meant to be chapters? Because they seem to be more like prologues to me. :? Sorry if my commentary seems harsh. :oops: I just got out of my English composition class lol!

Some stories don't tell the names of their characters until later. ;) I'm glad you've posted this, Biox. Great story! :D Looking forward to see more work from you soon. ^_^

And here we go again. Gonna open slots probably tomorrow.. ~~~~~~~~~ Aming shivered a little in the cold, looking at Armaneth in awe, then hurried to the stove in the corner and set some logs inside on fire to warm the room a bit. "The pipe leads up into another one that connects to the stove upstairs," she mumbled while busily stirring the embers. "We won't suffocate. Plus that tunnel just added some more breathing room." She walked back over to where Marcus was asleep on a cot, shaking her head. "I feel silly not having sensed it earlier that he was Zonorhc's descendent. It's a very strange coincidence..." For the next few moments, her eyes glanced over his cloak and brooch now and again, deep in thought until Armaneth broke them gently. "Aming, we can't stay here for long. We have to do something to find a way back." "Us being here may very well alter history itself," Aleksander added. "For better or for worse," Aming agreed. She walked over to a chair and sat down. "I don't think I'd take it very well if I somehow met a past version of myself along the way," she adds, shivering. "How long has this war lasted so far?" Armaneth asked. "We're still far from the end of it," was the demured reply. For the next few moments the three of them sat in silence, each lost in thought until Aming proposed that they should rest and figure out what to do the next day. "We'll take turns to stand guard and switch every two hours. I can take the first shift if you want." Both nodded and made their way towards the cots. Soon both were quickly asleep while Aming kept close watch on the tunnel. Suddenly to her great alarm she heard familiar voices coming from deep inside the tunnel, one sounding very much like her own, another like her old friend Aryl the mage! Something is wrong! They, me, whatever shouldn't be coming this way! She quickly shook Armaneth and Aleksander awake, sending them a mental message to not speak but quickly get out of the area. Armaneth quickly shouldered the resting Marcus while Aming put out the fire, casting a quick spell to make it look like nothing was burning in the first place. She then murmered a spell to levitate the tied up Chaos Dwarf that Marcus had subdued earlier, then opened the trap door. As soon as everyone climbed out with the dwarf on the ground besides them and she closed it behind them, voices could be heard from below where they were before. "That was too close. They can't see us. It's too dangerous!" Aming said grimly.

New spots may be open soon so keep watching the subject title! :shock: Anyway, because Aleksander has not posted for a while, I'm going to post. What's going to happen is that until Aleksander comes back, participants are going to have to try to take him along through the storyline the best they can. And here goes my part. Note: I worked on this during my break while at school so please don't harass me about sentence structure if it comes out awkward. I don't work well on an empty stomach. :lol: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "What do you mean, 'when'?" Marcus asked, looking at Aming suspiciously. "I mean what I say," she replied, glancing around nervously. "A tear in time," Armaneth said grimly. "From the looks of things, we've been thrown back." "At least seventy or so years back," Aming adds. "And during that time a great war was fought, myself being unfortunately one of its participants. I'd explain more now, but where we stand is a dangerous spot. We must move quickly to a safer area. I know a place not far from here that should still be intact. At least for another few weeks if my estimation of how far we've been thrown back is correct." The sky was growing increasingly dark as the hours wore on. Aleksander turned his head now and again at each new sound, taking note of everything around him, knowing that coming to a strange, yet oddly enough not all that strange, land could inevitably lead to trouble if one was not careful enough. The others followed silently, each with their own thoughts. Marcus stared at Aming's back, wondering just who exactly she was. At first the startling revelation that they were thrown over half a century back in time made him wonder how was it possible Aming kept her youthful appearance in the present if she had existed for so long, then shook off the ridiculous question. Now isn't the time to think of such things, Marcus. Better to focus on how you're going to get back first. Meanwhile Armaneth followed closely behind Aming, wondering where exactly she was leading them until they came upon the northern gates of... "Falador?" The city didn't appear to have any differences to the present other than its citizens. Aming motioned them to hurry to a small shack on the north eastern side of the city, then opened a hidden trap door and urged them forward. As soon as everyone was inside, she closed it, murmering a spell to light of the area with a ball of light in her hand. In the room were several old chairs and a table, a few cots, and a stove in the corner. No window or hole to view the outside world was in sight. "Well, we're not going to sit here like ducks are we?" Aleksander asked. "We need to find a way to get back!" "I'm beginning to wonder if this is what fate had in store for us," Armaneth wondered out loud. "Maybe whatever attracted you to Crandor was actually that tear, Aleksander." "Or that was purely coincidence," was Marcus' monotone response. "Whatever it was, I don't like it any better than you three," Aming interupted. "I haven't much time to explain, so listen carefully." For the next few hours Aming hurriedly described to them the war that she had fought in with many comrades, including a skilled lady archer, a mysterious warrior, a powerful monk, a lady mage like herself, an artful thief, and others. The battles between orcs, trolls, and even the "Judge" she retold brought back memories of pain and sorrow that brought tears to her eyes and stirred anger in her heart. "The cloaked figure we saw back in our time, I'm afraid, could very well be the same person my friends and I fought in this time, the Hell's Judge. It had taken many years before we could finally defeat him, and with that defeat came the slow rebuilding of the unstable world. When I sensed an unbalance back in our time, I was afraid it was him, and my worst fears came true." She looked up at the ceiling, where shouts from the White Knights marching in the streets above them could be heard. "They're preparing to attack an approaching army of trolls. Soon we must flee from here, or we may-" Before she could finish her sentence, there was a loud explosion that sent everyone flying to one side of the room. Aming dropped the ball of light in her hand and the room plunged into darkness for a few seconds until Armaneth recovered it for her. What they found before them was a sight to behold. "Earth warriors and Chaos dwarves! Dozens of them!" Marcus whispered. "Be mixed into an ambush," Aming weakly finished her sentence. They're not supposed to come from here, she thought, frowning. They're supposed to flood from the South gates into the city. Has there been a change in history some how? She stood up, staff in hand. "Prepare to battle!" she warned them just as the Earth warriors and Chaos dwarves lunged for them, weapons raised.

Hm kind moving along slow isn't it? Anyway: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aming wrenched out the water from her hair and took a good look around the area, frowning a little at its strange quietness. Normally there would be the sound of wild animals roaming around, or at least the song of a cricket. Instead, it was just a dead, empty silence. The image of the cloaked figure with a scythe had already worried her greatly, and now hearing only silence her made her fear her worries came true. Whatever they were seeking for may already be gone. "Aleksander, where do we go from here?" Aleksander didn't appear to have heard her as he trained his hearing onto something else. The sound of someone watching them and breathing quietly. His sense of hearing was more sharp than the others having to accomodate for his blindness, and he rose a hand to signal the others to be silent. Armaneth looked over to Aming again, who shrugged in return. Meanwhile Marcus watched from not too far away, his crossbow aimed at Aleksander in particular, knowing that this man sensed his presence but had not detected where he was yet. He watched as the other two followed him over a mossy mound, then stopped midway. "Does anyone else get the feeling we're being watched?" Aleksander asked outloud. Aming nodded a little. "If you mean by that cloaked figure-" "No, I'm not talking about that... whatever that is. I'm talking about something else. And definately not those we seek." 'You think we were followed?" Armaneth asked. "Maybe." Aming glanced around the area again nervously. Something inside kept telling her to hurry inside the island, that danger was rapidly approaching them fast. "Something is not right... Not right at all... I don't feel comfortable being here." Neither do I, Marcus thought, listening to them intently still. "You sense something, Aming?" Before she could reply, the sky above them began to grow dark, and a low growl of thunder was heard. Armeneth looked up and frowned. "This isn't going to be some ordinary st-" "GET OUT OF HERE!" Alexsander shouted, running under a cliff. But the warning came too late as great stones lit ablaze fell earthwards. Marcus scrambled away from his spot and headed for a cliff not too far away but hidden from them to take shelter. Armaneth and Aming ran after Alexsander towards the cliff as fast as they could, dodging the stones as they came down. Armaneth managed to get under the cliff besides Alexsander, but Aming wasn't so lucky. In her haste, she tripped over one of the rocks, suffering a burn on her leg as she fell. As she scrambled to get up, more stones seemed to come down upon her. She gave out a gasp of pain as she finally managed to get up, struggling to walk as more stones pelted her back and now and again. Seconds later she was under the cliff and fell wearily onto the ground, trembling violently from the pain of the burns and blows. The group watched as the sky was lit up by fire and the stones pelted the ground. Above the sound of stones crashing into one another was a voice that boomed loudly. "This is only a small demonstration of my power! Do not underestimate what I have in store for you all!" it said, crackling wildly as the skies cleared, leaving behind a white mist that seemed to cling in the air. Aming glanced up at the sky, a determined and pained look on her face. "You may have taken some of my blood," she whispered, "But you will never take my life." She turned to the others, getting up slowly and using the cliffside to support herself. "We better hurry into the island in case another freak storm like that happens again."

This is a poem and a rant rolled into one I wrote a few days ago. I had another poem, but because the language is rather heavy (even with the creative license it's still too much lol), I decided not to post that one and post this one instead. Enjoy! The Horrible Hottie With each breath I take More toxins rush into my body I cough and gag horrendously For goodness sake Put out that horrible hottie! The smell that fills the air And brands my clothes quite happily Make me cought and sneeze again Isn't there fresh air to spare Away from that horrible hottie? The doctor tells me I am ill And asks if I've been around the hottie I cough and struggle to speak No, I hate the hottie and her evil bill That I now pay for trying to breathe Guess who, or what, is that horrible hottie... :shock:

Here I go again! :shock: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aming sighed softly as she stared out towards the direction of Entrana, a distant look held in her dark brown eyes. For a moment, she closed them, listening only to the sound of waves gently hitting the sides of the row boat and Aleksandar rowing, splashing along. A cold wind made her open her eyes and she shivered slightly. She glanced around. In front of her was Aleksandar, steadily rowing. To her right was Armaneth, who appeared to be sleeping or deep in thought. Her mind felt distracted for some reason, but she wasn't sure what was it that bothered her. "Aleksandar, maybe you should rest. I'll take over the rowing for now." Aleksandar, who had been rowing for several hours now, needed no further bidding and switched places with Aming. With a somewhat determined look on her face she began to row onwards, not sure what to expect once they reached the island. Few words passed between the three during their little sea journey. Suddenly she heard something. She stopped rowing for a moment to listen more carefully, but all she heard was the gentle song of the water and winds. Frowning, she continued to row again, only the hear the sound once more. It was like a steady drumming that wouldn't stop. She stopped again, much to the annoyance of Aleksandar and Armaneth, who both got up and asked what's wrong. "I hear something... Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds very much like what Aleksandar described before he ran off... It makes me nervous." She glanced at them slightly. "Am I going crazy, or do you hear it too?" Before anyone could respond, there was a loud cracking noise coming from underneath. The boat beneath slowly began to crack down the middle and water began to pour into the boat...

Yea... just something I made to put on the cover of my binder because it's just plain white and needs something lol. Feel free to rate. :P The white spaces between the pictures and below bother me some, but I was using Adobe Photoshop Elements. Earlier it was much worse when the words were sticking outside into the white until I changed the spacing between each word.. And that took a while. -_- Anyway yea. For those that don't know, the left is Tidus, the right is Yuna. The words are from "1000 Words" from Final Fantasy X-2, sung by Jade. So in case anyone is wondering why for example the first line says "I know that you're hiding things" rather than "I know that you lied to me" it's a different version. There are two different versions of the song. :P EDIT: Gah forgot to mention: forgot the sharpen the logo a little at the bottom.. oops. :oops:

No.. poets are unfortunately not as appreciated as story writers it seems. :( Very nice poem. :) Captivating and you have a way of portraying your images clearly. ^_^

Well here goes. Writer's block shan't stop me now! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aming watched in bewilderment as Aleksandar hurried off southwards, wondering what in the world had gotten into the "sightless" archer. In a frightening way, it reminded her of watching an old friend of hers do the very same thing in the battlegrounds she had once fought in so many years ago. She had called for him to come back then, but he never returned as dark figures quickly enveloped him and the only thing she heard then were the horrible shrieks and screams he emitted above the sounds of battle around her. Her mind came back to the present at that precise moment of recollection, and her eyes focused once again on the running figure of Aleksandar. She had to get back with the group. "Aleksandar, get back here! Rushing off like that isn't going to do you or any of us good! Come back!" Aleksandar didn't seem to hear her as he ran on towards the docks. With a glance over her shoulder, Aming announced, "I'm going after him. I do not wish to see harm come his way should he do something rashly." She looked at each of them carefully in the eye. "We may or may not see each other again, should you not follow. I hope the first and not the second. May the gods guide you all and be careful. The lands are vicious and filled with evil as the seconds wear on and I speak, so go!" Without another word, she turned heels and ran after Aleksandar, the folds of her cloak trailing after her. She stopped when she finally caught up to Aleksandar, shaking her head. "Why must you be so hasty with your actions? Do you realize it could get you killed?" Aleksandar turned towards the direction of her voice and a frown was seen. "I know what I'm doing." "Maybe, but I do not. However, I'm not going to leave you alone." She glanced over towards the dock, where the remains of broken ships lay scattered. For a moment, she wasn't sure how they were going to get to Entrana until she found a small series of rowboats still tied next to the dock. She tapped Aleksandar's shoulder and said, "Guess we're going to have to row our way towards Entrana. I dare not risk using a spell in these ill times for it may attract unwanted attention." "If that is the case, lead the way." He shuddered a little as the horrible tattoo suddenly came back to him. Hearing Aming beginning to move away, he followed the sound of her footsteps. Suddenly, the dock began to groan rather fearfully. "Aleksandar, jump to your right!" Aming screamed. Whatever was going on, it was clear there was trouble as the sound grew louder. No further bidding needed, he jumped and was caught by an Air Spell. Soon he felt himself lowered onto the row boat rather roughly as Aming began to call out another spell, waves of water quiclky urging the small craft away as the dock gave a loud moan and crack, sending splinters and blocks of wood flying into the air. Aming called up a barrier to block the flying debris from them, then stared in horror at what now was in the place of the dock. "Saradomin save us! It's a sea monster!" she whispered. Indeed, the hideous monster with the arms of an octopus, the body of a squid, and the head of a Medussa-like creature was an alarming sight to see. The monster eyed them hungrily and gave out a mighty roar as the water above it rose and fell, sending crashing waves towards their craft. Aleksandar prepared to knock an arrow while Aming quickly steadied the boat, uttering a prayer and spell at the same time in preparation for an attack. Would they be able to escape? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EDIT: Spelling errors, etc. fixed

Very nice! :o Haven't seen anything like it. :lol:

Rather an enjoyable piece, Speed. It was hard to keep track of the conversation at first as there were a lot of quotation marks. I suggest that if you are having the same person speak for a period of time and several sentences, put it all in one set of quotation marks, rather than a set per sentence. Also, avoid short hand writing. Other than very, very good. :D Hope to see more soon!

Sorry for the delay... Anywhere here goes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aming looked at the others who awaited patiently for her to tell her story. But she only shook her head. "I desire not to tread upon my past... T'was not a very happy one..." She glanced at them carefully, then sighed. "But I will just this once..." "If you don't wish to..." Armaneth began. "No... It's probably best I relate my tale than leave it locked up inside," Aming interrupted gently. She began to relate the beginnings of her life, the daughter of two mages in another realm where magic was a part of every day life. "When I was very young, my father disappeared the night of a meteor shower. It was strange... no one could explain it. "I later stumbled across a book while studying at a temple in which revealed to me the secrets of the realms. It is that that forever changed my life. I am a guardian, one who must watch the scales of magic: Light and Dark. Should one side tip too far, it is my job to see to it that it is righted." There was something in her eyes that seemed to want to say more than what she had said already, but no other words came from her lips as she looked down at the fire, tears rolling down her cheek. She cleared her throat a little, wiping the tears away with the sleeve of her robes. Despite this, the tears began to fall, and her voice cracked a little as she continued to speak. "I have the feeling if we fight anymore here we will end up in the realm of death before we know what is the cause of great evil that is upon this land." She bowed down her head, not wanting them to see the fear and sadness in her eyes. "So do you propose we go find the 'source', if any, of this?" asked Amalien. Armaneth looked at them thoughtfully. "If we do find this 'source', it will save more lives than us staying here to fight." "We can't leave these people alone without someone to watch them over," Aleksander said, shifting himself into a more comfortable position on the crate he was sitting on. Amalien nodded. "True, not all are well-seasoned fighters still. We have a good army here yes, but the numbers have fallen greatly since the last attack..." He looked towards the direction of another fire burning, where children were laughing, running after one another while their parents watched, smiling sadly. "But we must have faith... Many here do not deserve to die or face this terrible wrath." Aming stood up wordlessly and headed towards the shores of the village, staring out towards the dark sea. Not too far away from her the willow trees rustled in the wind softly, almost like the sound of rain. Her thoughts ran wildy over the battle scenes from the past few weeks. Blow after blow, time after time, more damage, more suffering. "It should not be their battle," she said, meaning the citizens of the village. "Nor should these knights be subjected to evil at such numbers." Her voice seemed to travel towards the ocean, as though talking to some unseen person there, but the only reply she received was the soft roar of the waves.

Drawings done in MS Paint, text and the stary thing done with Adobe PS Elements. :oops: ;) My lame attempt at drawing on paint lol! Yes, Xero and Icey are my siblings. :) They nagged me a while about this so I finally got it done lol.

Hey! That's mean! :P Only trying to still be a normal user. :wink:

You know you've been playing RuneScape too long when you wake up looking for your armour and sword. :shock: Dangerous if you have a sword in real life!

I am so ignored >.o Poor Armaneth! *Hugs!* Okay here goes... I shall defeat writer's block! By the way, call me slow but I noticed that a lot of us like having our names starting with the letter "A" lol! (Amalien, Aleksandar, Armaneth, Alduineth, Aming hehe!) ~~~~~~ "M'Lord, M'Lady, a battalion of Necromancers and Dark Mages come, along with a guard of Black Knights. The group is 2000 strong, and grows as the Necromancers raise the dead." These words from Armaneth chilled her to the bone as Aming stared at him, a bewildered look on her face. "How much time do we have?" she asked, quickly regaining her composure. "Not a lot," was Armaneth's reply. Aming frowned. "Many of the warriors of here are melee fighters, not mages..." She looked towards the direction of a thunderous boom that echoed in the still air. "We're running out of time." She looked to Amalien and Aleksandar. "We're going to have to prepare for the worst." She bowed to Amalien. "I'm sorry our meeting was cut short, but perhaps you can help us ready some troops for the upcoming attack?" Amalien nodded. "No need to bow. I'll set off to see to the Dwarven company." Aleksandar wordlessly made his way towards the Al Kharid troops while Aming hurried back to the White Knights. She stopped short and looked over her shoulder to Armaneth, smiling a little. "If you want to use those magic spells of yours, now would be a good time to prepare them." She then turned to Elsie. "Ma'am, I suggest you take safety lest you want to find yourself caught in the battle. The villagers are most likely heading towards the Wizard's Tower south of village, but it will be crowded, so I suggest you hurry!" With that she turned away, her thoughts clouded with images of fearsome battle. So now we fight, mage against mage... She shivered a little, recalling the last mage-related battle she was in. Thousands of soldiers were frozen to the spot and hacked down to pieces in a matter of seconds as the mages unleashed their binding and weakening spells for their comrades to rush for the kill. It wasn't a pretty sight, and it was not something she wanted to happen here. As she finally made her way to the White Knights, the scent of decaying human bodies grew stronger. Time's against us! she thought angrily as she barked out the orders for a direct rush. "Don't let those Dark Mages and Necromancers hit you with their spells or it will be the doom of you all!" she warned grimly. There was a shout of fear and she turned around. A few yards away stood the dark figure with the scythe she had encountered before. This time she could see a bright grin on its face. "It's Death! He's come to bring us to the gates of Hell!" cried a soldier. "Silence! It's only an illusion!" Aming commanded. At least, I hope it is... "Oh I'm no illusion, child," the figure laughed. "Soon darkness will envelop this land and my master shall rule!" With a wicked laugh, the figure disappeared, leaving them shuddering under their armour. Aming turned around and faced the knights again. "Don't let that get to you. Remember, we still have a chance at saving the kingdom." "And if we don't? We're only bringing our death by our own hands!" shouted a knight. I must bring up their morale and courage. Aming snapped her fingers once, and immediately a full set of rune armour with a plated skirt, full helmet, and plate armour were upon her. In her red-gloved hands were a kite shield and the Crescent Blaze. "You won't die in vain. Not while I stand," she said. "I will lead the front myself." ~~~~~~~~~~~~ >. EDIT: DOH! Missed Alduineth! >.

And the winner is... DEMORIS! :) PM me either through the boards or pester me on my contacts below. :) To the others: Great work! :)

Going to announce the "winner" 9:00PM PST. idpup :( It looks a bit too airy. :(

Last day for "entries" is July 30. :wink: Um, no thanks to dinosaurs and dragons lol. :oops:

Meep. A little dark there, idpup. :( >.<;;; Once again, sorry for being so picky. :(

It actually does. :shock: Helped my grades improve and I was more at peace. :) Lol, just as long as it has water on it it's fine. :) Thanks again guys. :oops: Sorry for being so horribly picky. And Rick, I tried looking there too. :( your weird.... :shock: Um, I was already considered insane. Gonna wait until maybe around the end of the week. Otherwise, Demoris, I'll contact you about payment later? :wink:

It actually does. :shock: Helped my grades improve and I was more at peace. :) Lol, just as long as it has water on it it's fine. :) Thanks again guys. :oops: Sorry for being so horribly picky. And Rick, I tried looking there too. :(