Death45 Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 Once there was a small village called Lumbridge with a duke. The duke was famous, renowned, and wealthy. Even though he was the richest royal alive his people were suffering from famine, rats, and the occasional spiders. He did nothing to help the people out, and while they were suffering he lived life in the lap of luxury. There came a day when the people decided to do something about it. The inspiration of what to do came on a tattered up old Wanted ad. Now tell me if you want me to continue please tell me to. If I decide not to I will post a reply saying, PLEASE LOCK THIS, then please lock this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zonorhc Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 Why would a small village have a duke? Why is the duke royalty without being a prince? How was he renowned if he was doing such a poor job? The story exposition is really poorly thought out and lacks pace. It doesn't do anything to draw the reader in and make them want to read more. Varrock Library: Shattered Sky | Silent Thunder | The Emperor's FinestAstri @ MythWeavers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death45 Posted April 22, 2007 Author Share Posted April 22, 2007 Its a preveiw pplz, I would've edited it all if I wanted to. But LOCK THIS PLEASE :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenValerie Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Locked on request. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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