Pandawiz3 Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 moved :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: I am not a noob!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aquariusman Posted August 1, 2007 Share Posted August 1, 2007 Bis?? Anyways, I think you should try to make your story... darker. That's the only way I can decribe it. I do still like the way your story is forming. Teenage outcast, is entranced by rain. He imagines the rain as his friend, or the rain really is his friend. But this is is definitly NOT a final, polished version. It needs grammatical work, spelling checks and maybe even a bit of revising. It seems like you typed this up on the Forums, not in a word processor and then copy and pasting, which I think is much better and easier, allowing you access to spellcheckers and a much more organized view. Along with allowing you to take your time writing, editing and revising. There's no such thing as regret. A regret means you are unhappy with the person you are now,and if you're unhappy with the person you are, you change yourself. Thatregret will no longer be a regret, because it will help to form the new,better you. So really, a regret isn't a regret. It's experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pandawiz3 Posted August 1, 2007 Author Share Posted August 1, 2007 thanks for helping me with your tips ill certainly do that it is going the way your thinking and it will be revealed in time hope u liked it :thumbsup: pandawiz3 \ I am not a noob!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamster Posted August 1, 2007 Share Posted August 1, 2007 There's a lot of run-on sentences. Also, try to have more paragraphs so the story looks nicer. Ah, this reminds me about the noob on the Runescape forums who was upset with the quest "Cold War" because apparently his grandparents died in the war. :wall: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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