Dizzle229 Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Prologue "We have to attack now. We can't let them open the portal!" "We have to. We must let them unleash Zamorak." "If we kill the monks now, we will never destroy him." "If we do kill them it won't be a problem!" "No. They will keep trying until we kill Zamorak himself! 6 of his followers and him will not be able to stop our army." "Messenger! What news do you bring?" "They're opening the portal sir!" "Order the Attack captain!" "ATTACK!" The captain was young. He will never forget what he saw. The monks of Zamorak were killed right away, but the real battle began when the portal opened. The battle was long, many soldiers were killed, but finally, the warriors of Sarodomin prevailed. Zamorak was dead. But what they didn't know, was that Zamorak had a son. And one day, his followers would try to release him as well. Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrowbld Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 pretty good so far But seriously, I will kill you allI am back for realz this time I promise now that I am a member :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unoalexi Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Seven(Six, actually. One died of shame when it heard your sexist comment -.- ) kittens out of ten. Not too bad of a start, but there really isn't much to judge. Perhaps you'll expand it a bit? For a prologue, there isn't enough descriptions, but there's a lot of good action. You might want to double check your grammar handbook on the number '7'-I believe it's 'seven' and not '7'.(Sorry this may seem harsh, but good grammar is a must have, even the smallest things.) Overall though, it was a fine start. And why is it always the son of Zammorak.. -.- :roll: Here be dragons ^ Dragon of the Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted September 15, 2007 Author Share Posted September 15, 2007 well, if it was the daughter of zamorak it would be a story about buying shoes Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamster Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 well, if it was the daughter of zamorak it would be a story about buying shoes That is extremely sexist. Also, I really didn't like the words "Zamorak was dead". A god shouldn't be able to be killed by mortals. This is not because I am a follower of Zamorak. Ah, this reminds me about the noob on the Runescape forums who was upset with the quest "Cold War" because apparently his grandparents died in the war. :wall: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unoalexi Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 well, if it was the daughter of zamorak it would be a story about buying shoes SNNAAARRLL!! It's misogynistic people like you who ruin teh world... Here be dragons ^ Dragon of the Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamster Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 well, if it was the daughter of zamorak it would be a story about buying shoes SNNAAARRLL!! It's misogynistic people like you who ruin teh world... Indeed. Ah, this reminds me about the noob on the Runescape forums who was upset with the quest "Cold War" because apparently his grandparents died in the war. :wall: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 its the son! deal with it! Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForsakenMage Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Let's try not to make stories into a heated thing about society's issues, thanks.. Dizzle, I recommend maybe elaborating your story further to give it more context. :) Or at least let us know that that was only an introduction. Adventurer's Log || YouTube || Facebook || Tip.it Times Work || Wanna Join the Editorial Panel?Maxed Out 01 October 2012 PDT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unoalexi Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 its the son! deal with it! If I had a nickel... Grrrrr.... :x But like the mod said, I will pretend to ignore your highly misogynistic statements.. Here be dragons ^ Dragon of the Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xewleer Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 I didn't like it, and I don't see the misgony in any of it. Well, besides the shoes statement. Not a thing worth arguing about and not well written. Edit: How come the mods never really seemed to step in the arguments I had with Archimage A? Nevermind... don't want that answered. I'll show you how terrifying a true Christian can be!It's Xewleer: ZEW le ar, got it memorized?Hermit of the Varrock Library and its proud guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LolzEditor Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 The shoes comment is a bit mean... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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