This story I wrote....

[hbk_hossack]

Well, a few years back I wrote this story all the teachers people I showed it too thought was alright. I've sorta been adding to the first chapter, and not knowing if I should go ahead woith the rest. It's basicaly a LOTR rip-off, lots of elves, dwarves, dragons, kings, cities, sowrds, beast and battles but anyway. This is what it's like, tell me what you think. BTW, I never really gave it a name.

 

 

 

Introduction

 

It is the year 300 of the First Age in the realm of Orthillien. Wars have been fought and battles have been lost. Elves have divided and Dwarves have receded. The Goblin Wars have finished, but a new war is about to begin. Forces are mobilising, but in the North-East, Shado seeks his father and his throne.

 

 

 

Chapter 1

 

The marshy ground beneath the horseÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s feet spluttered and splashed across the landscape as it pounded through the rain and fog. The wind whisked the rain about, whipping at the horses heels and smashing into the riders face. The trees to his right seemed to hang over him like the shadow of some great force. The foreboding fog hung around his head has thunder boomed and lightning cracked. The horses hoofs smacked in the ground with high velocity, splitting the earth with each tread.

 

The rider was none other than one of the White Sages, Agikara. Agikara was one of the 4 White Sages sent to Orthillien in the beginning of time to defend against the 4 Black Sages that had spawned there.

 

AgikaraÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s hair tangled and twined down his silver robes down to his shoulder-blades; as did his beard. His robes were that of sterling silver, but were s wet as an ocean as the rain pounded down upon them. His destination was a close one, but the forest of Silverwood glaring on him from the West and the Silver River rushing rapidly so close to were he rode made him uneasy.

 

The river splashed up with great waves of wind as the storm worsened. The skies were as black as the mud AgikaraÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s horse trampled through and his mood fell to that of a sombre black. The ride had not been an easy one, across from the north of Silve, down the Silve River, he was glad he was almost to his destination. The horse was weary and as was he. It was the opposite of the storm, as dusk changed to night the storm intensified, and he could ride no longer.

 

Agikara wheeled his horse about, away from the edge of the river and over to a small group of shrubs that sat at the edge of the forest. The great tress flew above him like a wall of stone and he knew he must be careful, as Silverwood holds many unpleasant surprises and lethal creatures. He tied up his horse to one of Silverwoods mighty oaks and tried to sleep. The rain still whipped and snapped all around him as the wind literally ripped a small tree next to him out of the ground. Agikara could barely even see 5 feet in front of him due to the density of fog. The lightning and thunder still banged and boomed all through that night, but Agikara somehow managed to drift off to sleep.

 

The next morning the rain, thunder and lightning had gone, but the wind still raged a constant battle around him as the fog twirled with it. The wind blew water from the river up towards his face ad churned the fog about causing the horse some distress. Dancing across the landscape were sticks, leaves and pieces of bark, shimmying across the sky in the gusts of wind. Agikara was still weary, but he knew that he had to arrive in utmost haste. The horseÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s legs were buckling from the strain, but he was of Traiin breed, this horse would not give up. But almost like a jolt of lightning to the skull, Agikara was sent flying off his horse as he tumbled into the Marshes of Tellabaga.

 

Once again, Agikara was soaked head too toe in water and mud. He knew this was the last point his horse could go with him, so he sent it back to the north as he pulled out his huge White staff and began the treacherous march through the swamp.

 

He used his staff to push through the dangerous paths, as once slip could land him in there for good. The journey was a long and tiring one, as standing in one stop for too long could get you dropped into a pit of mud and water and the wind could easily blow you off the only safe path.

 

But after hours of treading the dangerous marsh, Agikara reached the other side, where the fog and wind had settled considerably. But that wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t the best part, for not too far ahead he could see a large log cabin; his final destination.

 

Agikara walked into the large log cabin with a great mile on his faces. After days of hard riding he had arrived. It was a very important time, as something big was occurring in Orthillien. As he creaked the door open, he sat on one of the large chairs, smoking his pipe, waiting for everyone else to arrive.

[Zonorhc]

We have a forum for this sort of thing.

 

 

 

I've marked this post for a quick shunt over.

 

 

 

Try to avoid using numerals in prose. Where possible, spell out the number.

[hbk_hossack]

The two topics have been merged.

 

 

 

--Necromagus

[Xewleer]

Isn't this the same thing as the untitled work posted?

[Xewleer]

Isn't this the same thing as the untitled work posted?

 

 

 

Quoted from your other post...

 

 

 

Anyhoo, I suggest nothing, I can't think up a name for something else someone else wrote.

[hbk_hossack]

Ahh my bad, didn't realise it got moved

[hbk_hossack]

Yeah my bad, I didn't realise the other got moved

[nzall]

hmmmmmm..... How about The great war of Orthillien?

 

 

 

It is a good story indeed