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..::The War for Gielinor::..


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#1
gbay99
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~†The War for Gielinor†~

By: Gbay99



Prologue: There has been a battle for all of runescape going on for 10 years now. There are four gods involved with the war: Guthix, Saradomin, Zammorok, and Zaros. Emerald (main character) has been fighting for Guthix for the past 5 years. Emerald and a squad of two other have just been sent on a mission to stop Zaros from regaining control of Dareeyak (the ruins in the wilderness which once was a fortress in ancient times). The squad just set out and are at an outpost they set up north of the green dragons.



~~~Chapter One~~~

::Gaining power::





Emerald peered through the trees. He saw nearly 100 people working on reconstructing the ruins.

"Wow." Emerald said.

"What?" Sir vericez said as he and Balek ran up behind him.

"I say we attack" Balek said. "We could take 'em, after all there only construction workers.

"No they aren't." Emerald pointed out. "Look on the other side, theres got to be nearly 25 ancient mages over there."

Once they saw them they dashed away to Varrok. Emerald and thel others made their way into a small house across from the blue moon tavern, walked up three flights of stairs, and into a small, dimmly lit room with 3 cloaked figures standing in it.

"What news do you bring Emerald?" The first one asked.

"They certianly are rebuilding the ancient fortress. They also have it well guarded. About 100 workers and about 25 ancient mages."

"We'll have to keep an eye on them." The 2nd monk said.

Emerald left the room and went to the bar across the street.

Emerald walked up to the barkeeper.

"What can I do for ya Emerald?" He asked.

"One Dragon bitter please." Emerald mumbled.

"So hows the war going? I hear Varrok has a warrant out for your arrest."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, the king just issued it this morning."

"Under what charges?"

"Spreading the growth of Zammorok and encouraging worshiping him."

"What!?"

"Yeah, he figures since you wish to bring balance to the world that means supporting good as well as evil."

"Thats insane. Mind if I sleep here tonight?"

"Actually yes. The king will be looking for you tonight."

"Ah, thanks anyway."

"No problem, heres your Dragon bitter."

Emerald took a long sip of the alcoholic beverage. He felt relaxed, like there was no war, like he was in the Enchanted Vally just enjoying himself all day. Suddenly Emerald's Guthix raptor flew in through the door and landed on the table as Emerald finished off his drink. He took the note off his raptors wing, read it, then stood up and headed out the door.

Emerald headed south and went into a desert. He headed past the mine and at the edge of a small village, called out to a gnome. After looking up the gnome started to prepare his glider. The gnome flew his glider to a huge area full of gnomes and landed it on top of a big tree. Emerald went down a ladder and headed into a room with a group of people sitting around a table. There was a gnome, a druid, a dwarf, a seer, a void knight, a fremennik, and Emerald.

"Glad you could come Emerald." The fremennik invited.

"Shall we get back to business?" The seer said irritably.

"Yes, lets" the dwarf commented.

"Zamoraks forces are growing in Morytania. I'm afraid they might over power Varrok." the Void knight stated.

"We've noticed the same over here, in west Ardounge, they might try to overpower the east." the gnome said.

" Saradomins forces stay strong in Camelot so my scouts say." The fremennik reported.

"Non the less we must keep an eye on Zamorak." The seer said.

"Emerald, what do you have to report?" the void knight asked.

"Zaros is growing. He is rebuilding his fortresses that currently lie in the wilderness. I think he is planning to overthrow Varrok and get his once beloved kingdom." Emerald reported.

"The gnomes have heard rumors of Zaros gaining power." the gnome stated. "as soon as we heard this we sent a scout to go over to the digsite, for you all know it was abandoned two years ago. He saw Zaros worshipers scouting out the area as if they were to make camp there, passably rebuilding the city too later. He said as he was flying away that he didn't see the Zaros worshipers looking to varrok as if they were to attack it though, but to Canifis, once Zaros's strong fortress Kharyrll."

"We must join forces with varrok then, weather they like it or not, they cannot ignore the fact that there city is going to be invaded soon." The fremennik yelled.

"Yes." Everyone agreed.

"We must form an attack plan first though..." The seer said as he took out a map of the area. "Here is Varrok's eastern entrance, if we can barracade it up, then station some forces at the bank using it as an outpost, we could hold off the invasions for quite some time."

"Yes." The void knight said. "We can also do the same with the north."

"This is Silly!" The fremennik yelled. "You said we must form an ATTACK plan, all I see is defence untill death."

"I agree." Emerald said.

"It is too soon to tell, we must see how the next month or two unfold before taking any action." The seer pointed out.

"Fine." Emerald and the fremennik said.



Please comment on it and tell me what you think of it so far.
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#2
Hawks
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It's a good start, good storyline. Lots of spelling and grammatical errors, I went through and fixed them for lack of stuff to do. Also your numbers need variety if that makes sense, read through my edited version to see what I mean. Too much he said, she said. One more thing: the Prologue sucks.



~~~Chapter One~~~


#3
Xewleer
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Actually, I would like to see the prologue written out. You CAN do better.
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I'll show you how terrifying a true Christian can be!
It's Xewleer: ZEW le ar, got it memorized?
Hermit of the Varrock Library and its proud guard.

#4
Hawks
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Me? or gbay?

#5
Xewleer
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well... both actually. I hadn't actually read yours until you asked for clarification.
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I'll show you how terrifying a true Christian can be!
It's Xewleer: ZEW le ar, got it memorized?
Hermit of the Varrock Library and its proud guard.

#6
Hawks
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Fifteen years ago the seeds of war were planted between the followers of Gielinor's main gods. Soon, friendly relations between worshippers of different dieties all but collapsed... Guthix declared war on Saradomin's followers, Zaros declared war on Zamarok; it has thrown Gielinor into chaos. Our hero, Emerald, has been fighting for Guthix since he was able to join the ranks of warriors. He and two other fighters have been sent on a mission to stop Zaros' followers from regaining control of Dareeyak, ruins in the wilderness that were once a powerful fortress. They have just set out and have already set up camp north of where the green dragons are found.

#7
Bluejayfan94
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Lol, Hawks has jacked Gbay's story... Or at least, made it better. No offense Gbay.

#8
Hawks
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lol. Sorry if it offends you. :oops:

#9
Bluejayfan94
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lol. Sorry if it offends you. :oops:


Lol, If I was an Admin I'd give you a title "Stealer of Gbay's stuff"

#10
llamster
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Not nearly enough description. Your story so far has too much dialogue compared with the other text (not saying that you should remove any dialogue).

Ah, this reminds me about the noob on the Runescape forums who was upset with the quest "Cold War" because apparently his grandparents died in the war. :wall:


#11
Bluejayfan94
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Not nearly enough description. Your story so far has too much dialogue compared with the other text (not saying that you should remove any dialogue).




Pretty much every line is Dialogue.




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