Why do golfers carry around 2 pairs of socks?

 

 

 

Incase they get a hole in one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A snail walks into a bar, says "pint of lager please mate"

 

 

 

The barman comes round picks him up and throws him out the door.

 

 

 

Next year th snail walks back in and says "what you do that for?!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...

 

One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.

 

 

 

Share some jokes! :thumbsup: :mrgreen:

A Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub. The Scotsman says "Free drinks for everyone, on the house!"

 

 

 

The next morning the headlines of the local paper read "Irish ventriloquist found beaten to death behind pub."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A young Scottish couple had just been engaged when the woman began to complain about the paltry size of her engagement ring. The Scotsman said "You can't complain, you picked it out yourself. It's not my fault you don't know how to work the little crane."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

<3 Love Scottish people, just got to keep the rivalry alive :P.

As much as I loved the joke with the Irishman ( :lol: ), I'll be locking the thread. Why? 'Cause there's already a jokes thread here, so feel free to use that one.