Delete please

[Sam]

Nevermind

[Laura]

Could you change the color of the font? It is not readable on the Tip.it theme.

[Hobgoblinpie]

Is this an essay you've written for a piece of school work? I'm just wondering, because I had to do the same style essay on the same film back in year 10 for English Language.

 

Anyway, you have picked up on many points, but I think that the structure isn't the best. You should have a few sentences (or paragraphs) outlining the story, then use the rest of the space to analyse the features. I say this because a lot of the essay is essentially telling the story and picking up a few points along the way. Use PQC/PEE/PQE (Point-Quote-Comment/Point-Example-Explain/Point-Quote-Explain) to judiciously pick features to analyse (such as the misunderstanding of Derek Bentley's proclamation of 'Let him have it!' arising from the equivocation of the phrase 'Let him have it' and contextual factors that affect the perceived meaning with the officers that heard it).

 

Anyway, I'm being too much like a teacher. I do like it (though the colour is a little hard to read on my screen).

[Nom]

The first sentence/paragraph would benefit from breaking it into two. Too many commas.

 

You repeated "in many ways" in the second paragraph. There is also a parallelism error: "the way the actors performed" is not structured the same as the rest of the list. "The actors' performances" would be better. Also, "production techniques" is rather vague, as production can refer to the entire process of making the film. "Direction" might work better.

 

Assuming that sentence is your thesis, you should consider making sure the rest follows it more closely. As it is, it reads mostly like a plot summary. Each paragraph is basically a summary with a sentence-long analysis tacked on. It's consistent, but not in a good way. The analysis is too shallow. Choose a few of the strongest examples you have now and talk about them more in depth.

 

I'm confused as to why the "in my opinion" thing is there at the end. It doesn't belong at all, because the essay's purpose is to show how the director has managed to drum up sympathy from the audience, not to present a viewpoint on whether the story is a miscarriage of justice.

 

It's best to just use the default font color. You never know what skins people are using.