helmker Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 This is my first post in the Varrock Library so plz give me some feed back if you actually read it lol. plz plz post all comments good or bad!!!!!!! PirateÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Tale Training against pirates in a hidden cave, I stop to talk to the captain Dave. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅWhy do your men carry around all theses nature runes? Is it because they like to mine in the AL Kharid dunes?ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâà Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archimage_a Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 Its not half bad. I like the ryhming http://www.uzzisoft..../archimage.jpegWell I knew you wouldn't agree. I know how you hate facing facts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helmker Posted November 5, 2005 Author Share Posted November 5, 2005 thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archimage_a Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 No prob its actually good to see some nice poem/song/story. http://www.uzzisoft..../archimage.jpegWell I knew you wouldn't agree. I know how you hate facing facts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragoncmd Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Good poem we don't get enough of them here. My only suggestion is to shorten some of the longer lines because they seem to get so long at points that you lose the rhyme scheme but other that that its great. 8.7/10 Pm me if you need anything proof-read, I may not be very good, but I am always willing to help.A Seal Clubber is me!A Oxygenarin is me!6*9=42 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helmker Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 ok ill try to shorten the long lines. thanks for the advise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helmker Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 is there any other feedback or is it just that no one cares to read the story lol plz post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
South44 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Training against pirates in a hidden cave, I stop to talk to the captain Dave. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅWhy do your men carry around all theses nature runes? Is it because they like to mine in the AL Kharid dunes?ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâà Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helmker Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 ok ill see what i can do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helmker Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 i made a few changes to the poem but i cant seem to shorten one of the lines any more. have any ideas?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helmker Posted November 8, 2005 Author Share Posted November 8, 2005 I guess this the end of this thread hope everyone enjoyed the story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L0rdmichel Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 hehe that isn't so bad :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragoncmd Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 A little father in the cave is some blurite ore, and long, long ago there was even a little sword store. The Imcando Dwarves would mine and smith the blurite into swords, and everyone in all the land bought them for there lords. I think you mean "farther" instead of "father". also again with shortening lines you might be able to get rid of into. I don't think you'll lose the meaning. Other than that its much better.[/i] Pm me if you need anything proof-read, I may not be very good, but I am always willing to help.A Seal Clubber is me!A Oxygenarin is me!6*9=42 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helmker Posted March 9, 2006 Author Share Posted March 9, 2006 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drokles Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I kinda like it. A nice little poem/story/etc. I like the thought of a singing pirate I'll get there!... eventually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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