Well, we're studying Shakespeare in English class (yippee) and we're required to write a sonnet for one of our assignments. I thought I'd share two of mine with you guys. Feel free to condemn, criticize, complain write stupid comments or whatever you want about them. i dont really care...just have fun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This one refers to my deep contempt of mathematics. The weird thing is that I'm actually really good at it but it just infuriates me sometimes. And so i take my anger out in a sonnet...:D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mathematickes (a parody) ~ I've added a bit of "snake" imagery to this...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh mathematickes, how I despise thee

 

 

 

Thou seest my grief and hisseth with glee

 

 

 

As thy evil slitted eye looks at me

 

 

 

In thy scaly head, thou laugheth shrilly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With thy endless logic and equations

 

 

 

And thy numbers of abstract uselessness

 

 

 

With thou I have lost all of my patience

 

 

 

Trapp'd I am in thy coils of wretchedness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This my tortured soul and brain doth know

 

 

 

Thou art filthy and maggoty I'd say

 

 

 

Thou leaveth a stench wherever thou'st go

 

 

 

Like a stinkbug on a fragrante day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On thy studente thou inflicteth such pain

 

 

 

And wisheth my demise so gruesomely

 

 

 

With thy nonsense thou poisoneth my brain

 

 

 

Oh mathematickes, how I detest thee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But alas, snake, evade you I cannot

 

 

 

For thou art pres'nt in all and ne'er forgot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOTE: sonnets are supposed to have 3 quatrains and couplet, but i squeezed in another quatrain for fun. also, each line is supposed to have 10 syllables but mine dont follow that exactly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This next one refers to my good for nothing laptop which keeps dying on me and is pretty much useless. you'll see what i mean when you read the sonnet heheheh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Laptop

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thou art a dung-heap cast as computer,

 

 

 

Thy innards are pumped with silicon dump,

 

 

 

Thy toasted fan does zilch for the user,

 

 

 

Thy speed pales compared to a dead tree stump.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thou hast failed me through thine pitiful life,

 

 

 

After slight use of files, tired thou hast slept,

 

 

 

Thou hast crashed and died as if stabbed by knife,

 

 

 

Thy processing chip was far too inept.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Essays, high scores, conversations alike,

 

 

 

Lost in thy failure as the screen turns black,

 

 

 

I yelled angrily at thee through my mic,

 

 

 

But never would thee return my files back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fortunately for I, thy life shalt end,

 

 

 

For rung Dell I have. Thou knows what they'll send!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK THEN! hope you enjoyed reading those! that's that. i'll try to share some more with you later, and of course feel free to put in your own, even if they dont follow exact sonnet form! :)

nobody likes my sonnets? *tear...sniffle*

"Thy speed pales compared to a dead tree stump. "

 

 

 

Good line.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the first one could use alot of work though, the opening quantian is strange because all of the line rhyme instead of alternating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You did miss the main point of a sonnet though, It is always in iambic pentameter. That means alternating soft and hard sylabuls (ug, I can't spell) This applies to both Shakespearean and Italian Sonnets, and since you mentioned It I won't bother you about the number of sylabuls in each line.

 

 

 

and lastly, The additional quantain makes the first sonnet seem too long, you might want to delete the 3rd one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry If I'm a bit harsh, I know how hard it is to write these so actually they're very good compared to most other ones I've seen. (I'll stick with longfellow and shakespeare though :D )

"Thy speed pales compared to a dead tree stump. "

 

 

 

Good line.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the first one could use alot of work though, the opening quantian is strange because all of the line rhyme instead of alternating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You did miss the main point of a sonnet though, It is always in iambic pentameter. That means alternating soft and hard sylabuls (ug, I can't spell) This applies to both Shakespearean and Italian Sonnets, and since you mentioned It I won't bother you about the number of sylabuls in each line.

 

 

 

and lastly, The additional quantain makes the first sonnet seem too long, you might want to delete the 3rd one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry If I'm a bit harsh, I know how hard it is to write these so actually they're very good compared to most other ones I've seen. (I'll stick with longfellow and shakespeare though :D )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hey! i appreciate your comments, dude, thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yeah, i wasn't really finished with these sonnets which is why they are not in iambic pentameter...im constantly searching for words. And speaking of the additional quatrain...i added that because i am actually planning to take out one of the four, and now i believe i will take out the second one when I submit it. However, i will leave it in there now for the reader's enjoyment.

They weren't too bad . I liked the one 'bout the computer :)) . It is hard to write such things at this age of modernization .... I am amazed that you have thought of such things . I bet you spent at least an hour on each of those sonnets . But u better stick to normal texts ... They're easier to read and understand ...

Your computer must be WINDOWS! ^^

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anywho, your middle English is fairly good, tho' 'tis not the best I've seen (I'm a bit of a middle English guru, don't ask), and they aren't in iambic pentameter, which they should be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But the humour is fabulous.