blaah Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I was upset when I wrote this, as evidenced by the content, but it helped me figure put what I wa feeling and writing calms me down. The structure is odd with poems at the beginning and end and a rambling bit in the middle, but I'd like to see what people think of it. It's not you, it's me. I push youYou push backAnd instead of getting back upI take another step backI dig the holeJump inAnd yell at you from the bottomActing like you pushed meKnowing you didn't And waiting for you To pull me out The dreams are just coming from someone with a sick sense of humor, mocking my every thought and giving me desires I'll never get, goals way out of reach, reasons for me to hate myself more, bringing me to tears when I taste reality. But if the people weren't spoon-feeding me the same things the dreams do, treating me like the baby I see myself as, if they'd just give me a spoonful of reality every so often - no, force-feed me, shove it down my throat - then I wouldn't be the baby anymore and I'd get over myself and stop thinking my opinions are right and understand the people I see now as idiots. If I didn't set myself as greater than, if I set myself as equal to - no, less than or equal to, or just less than - I'd look around better and see that the majority rules, they've gotta be right, I'm not smarter or even as smart as. I don't know anything except baby food and bottles, if I ate something substantial and drank straight alcohol, if I ran around with them in groups and partnered up and told myself things I see as mistakes were the right things to do, if I pushed harder, if I stayed quiet, if I did what I had to and then what I could do, if I did what I shouldn't do, maybe I'd make it. But probably not, because I'm me and they're them and I stepped into that hole and they ran up a mountain. I curl upInto that position I takeLike a babyAnd instead of trying to get upI close my eyesI fall asleepDreamingScreaming out from the painActing like I didn't ask for itWhen I know it's my faultAnd wishing I could be strongAnd stop waiting for someoneTo save me /FG/First thread post to when I joined the family.[hide=Insert rant here]blahblahblahLIFE[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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