Death45 Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 Tom looked into the vast land known as the wilderness. "wow. i havent been maging lesser demons in a while" Tom was a master wizard he knew every spell in the book. so he stocked up on runes and trekked into the wilderness. it was a few hours before he heard a noise. it grew louder and louder. Then a huge horde of pkers were running towards him.he was frightened. then he used teleport to ardougne. he went there. he decided to go to the mage arena. he pulled the lever and appeared in the magic arena. then a barrage of fire waves rushed towards him. he ducked then he sent of a few waves of fire blasts. he ran and ran until he got to the bank. suddenly he was teleported to camelot. he didnt know why pkers were at its maximum. he went into the wilderness in search for answers. he then saw a depressing sight it was in front of the dark warriors castle. the ground was blood stained and littered with bodies. he started to run south then a pker who was the most feared 1 swung his dragon 2 handed sword and tom ducked and ran and ran until he was in lumbridge. He went to his house in rimmington and saw that it was june 4th the middle of pker season........ as soon as i get an idea for a sequel ideas will be gratefully accepted please tell me what u think :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenova1692 Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 not a bad story, though a little short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxicologist Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 Firstly, use a variety of punctuation, instead of simply full stops all the time. Secondly, watch your grammar: use capitals when necessary. The story is rather short and non-descripted: it seems fast-paced to the point of detached, with no good descriptions except maybe at the beginning. Could be much better than this. 3/10 Why do you resist? My experiments are only helping humanity push the boundaries of the Art of Toxicology... you should be proud to be one of my victims. ~Toxicologist~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death45 Posted May 20, 2006 Author Share Posted May 20, 2006 Hey! Its a three part story so the first 1 short the second 1 medium and the third one really long anyways i made this story outta boredom so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death45 Posted May 20, 2006 Author Share Posted May 20, 2006 oh i will make my sequel today :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death45 Posted May 20, 2006 Author Share Posted May 20, 2006 Tom was mad that the pkers tried to kill him, so he bought full rune(g). Then he trained his melee skills then he practiced killing lesser demons until he got so good he couldn't get better. Tom decided he was ready to go into the wilderness then A Mysterious Old Man teleported him to a distant maze. " Wow the maze i heard that there are treasures to be found in the middle." But what he didn't count on was that there were greater demons in the way. He hacked and slashed at them with his old rusty rune battle axe. Then they backed off for some reason. A loud roaring sound filled Tom's ears, then before his eyes a red dragon flew into the room. His rune battle axe was not in good shape so there was nothing for him to do but ruuuuunnnnnn! He had a rune battlehammer but it only fit for smashing walls not killing dragons. He smashed the walls to smithereens while he made a beeline for the center. But then the dragon used its foul dragon breath and melted away the remaining walls. Tom got to the center chest and guess what he found inside? Full dragon and a dragon scimitar is the thing he found inside. Plus about 5000 swordfish. With full dragon on him he was definetly ready for the wilderness. He got all the swordfish he could carry and then he set off into the wilderness. At the first sight of a pker he would kill them. He didn't have to look far because then he saw a strong pker killing a weak person, wanting revenge he killed the pker in one fell swoop. But then the weak person tranformed to a dragon demon, very powerful. Tom eqquipped his old dragon longsword and stabbed it into that beast's acursed hide. Then a wave of player killers rushed towards him. He held his dragon scimitar at his side and in one slash killed all the pkers. The remaining ones who stayed behind rushed back to Asgarnia and told all their pker parteners that Tom was their new pker leader. Then Tom was to be crowned pker leader if he could kill 3 lesser demons. He did so in about 3 minutes. Then he wore the pker gold crown(which is really just a party hat painted gold) above his dragon med helm. He was so lucky he thought but what he didnt know what was in store for him next. To Be Continued..... Part 3 will be entitled The Rebellion and will be out shortly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death45 Posted May 20, 2006 Author Share Posted May 20, 2006 It was dark late at night when Tom woke up remembering the pkers who tried to kill him. It was then he began training vigorously to master each and every skill there is. He was tops at all the skills before you knew it. His sword crafted from the purest runite there is, his sheild encrusted with millions of tiny sparkling diamonds. It was his armor that most people noticed, pure runite and gold mixed together with a bit of coal shined with the gleam of a hundred suns(perhaps the diamonds which were encrusted along with opals and pearls in his armor along the trimming helped). Think thats all his stuff? Think again. his ranging armor crafted from the hide of the King Black Dragon's identical clone, his bow was made from pure diamonds which sparkeled in the morning sun. His Magic armor was made from pure wolf fur(dyed white) and chompy bird feathers, and his staff! It was pure magic tree wood topped with a pure magical ruby orb. Now that we got over the part about his amazing armor his personality altered alot too. He went from being the scared wizard hiding under his mother's bed to a brave omni-warrior. He was also skilled with prayer as he was very religious. Then he thought he was ready to enter the wilderness he thought wrong. He entered the wilderness and trekked through the dark land of Zamorack. After he trekked for a few hours he stopped. Hearing something, it was coming from the west. He journeyed for a few more hours north-west but then about three thousand pkers ran for him, eyes on his valuable armor. He killed all of them but there was one more, the king of pkers. He was a giant! Tom thought. Tom teleported his armor to the bank but did not suceed on teleporting himself. Now left defenseless Tom waited for the blow. He did not have to wait for long beacause the blow killed him. His blood got everywhere his guts ripped apart his..... Am I being a little too drastic for you, sorry. Well the point is he died and it was really messy. But when the pker ripped his heart his soul split in four they each got life and a body. Can you guess who they were? The Archer The Warrior The Wizard and The Monk who travel inside the Lumbrige Swamps every day to today....... If you want to know what happened to Tom's original body read my next story The Wilderness part three: The Eplolouge of Tom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death45 Posted May 20, 2006 Author Share Posted May 20, 2006 This story is a rough draft and should be deleted my real story is on the forums if you liked this story then you would like my much more drastic and graphic story on the forrums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azntemplar_00 Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 Did you not read my PM about posting multiple parts of a story in different threads? I've merged them again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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