Comments very much welcome, but please, take into consideration that English is not my native language, thanks ;)

 

 

 

Out in the distance the great desert lies,

 

streams of gold sand and rivers of rocks,

 

above this all seldom a lone eagle flies,

 

looking for its prey.

 

 

 

And into this desert young man ventures deep,

 

not knowing of dangers that he might soon meet,

 

ignorant of monsters who down below creep,

 

no one gets away.

 

 

 

This cave he has found and his torch he has fired,

 

now he descends into the darkness and cold,

 

his sword might be sharp but in actual fight,

 

shall he prevail?

 

 

 

Deep down the hallways our hero has walked,

 

meeting no monsters and finding no gold,

 

maybe the cave's empty, maybe it's not,

 

what lies this way?

 

 

 

Majestic chamber this young man has found,

 

suddenly he is shocked by a strange sound,

 

right behind him is a disgusting crowd,

 

so began the fray.

 

 

 

The beasts are numerous and hero's just one,

 

he's never lost a battle but he never has won,

 

slowly he tires and he cannot go on,

 

much to his dismay.

 

 

 

And after a minute the young man is dead,

 

and into great darkness his soul is now led,

 

he should have not tried his luck, he should have fled,

 

into the day.

Hi,

 

 

 

 

 

Yep, I enjoyed it.

 

First verse spelling mistake, 'prey' as opposed to 'pray,'

 

Otherwise, I really like it. It's descriptive and reasonably imaginitive. Considering English isn't your first language that is amazing:)

 

 

 

Issy.

Thanks, I wasn't quite sure about that word, this whole "a/e" thing is sometimes confusing (like than/then, but I already got the hang of that).

 

 

 

I've been also thinking about writing a short story, so I might post it someday.

yeah that would rock!

 

 

 

I'd love to see some more of your stuff.

Well done. I love to see poetry on here, we dont get much often. Mistakes are very minor, I probbly make them too...though english is my first lol. Where abouts you writing from.? Keep it up!

 

 

 

~~Byers

geez, thanks :)

 

 

 

Where am I writing from? From the Czech Republic, but I'm not quite sure I understand that question :)

 

 

 

And yes, it's quite rare to see poetry here. It's quite rare to see poetry at all, and that's a pity since I love poetry too.

I loved it, the rhyme scheme could you some work later in the poem, but I love the discription. It would be nice to see more poetry on these forums, it seems like we only get a few every few months.

Ha, no I did mean where in the world so you're fine lol. Poetry is awesome, I've written some...not board worthy, but meh lol.

 

We are going to be hearing more from you soon i hope?

 

 

 

~~Byers

ah, this whereabouts :)

 

 

 

well, it's from somewhere in the Kharidian desert, p2p part, maybe Kalaphite Lair? That would explain the "crowd" and the emptiness of the tunnels... But I'm not actually sure, after I wrote the first verse, it was mostly improvisation. And I'm not familiar with the actual dungeons in the area, I don't like them ;)

 

 

 

And sure. Yesterday I managed to translate one of my stories, but I'm going to be proofreading it for a while, since translating from Czech to English is much difficult than the other way around. Well, thinking of those puns Jagex has been using lately, maybe it's quite the same. Most are impossible to translate accurately.