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Weeeeeeeeell, its ok. But you have complained to me about really short peices so :P It could be really good

Sounds like something you would write, dripping in non-existant feeling. To be perfectly honest to someone that had little idea what feeling and acting was this looks perfectly heartfelt. To someone like me who knows what feeling is(Although I can't write it :oops: ) it looks unrealistic and more of a dramatic device than it does a heartfelt, teary eyed tragdey.

 

 

 

Think it could go ok, depends entirely on how much feeling and effort you put into it, and how you develop it from here on out, you continue to try to emphasise how the author is broken hearted about the whole thing the more likely it is that you will create a good story that will be read by the T.V. generation and get a bit of praise. Anyone who is...acting intolarate, will be put off by it and it will seem more like a task rather than a story.

Weeeeeeeeell, its ok. But you have complained to me about really short peices so :P It could be really good

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll probably continue it though and post it here! :P

 

 

 

And thanks both of you, I'll work on it. I sometimes find it hard and I sometimes find it easy to put feeling into a piece of writing... so I'll just try my best and hope for a good outcome! \

short simple sad, stuff said sadly shortly swarthily!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

haha! a complete sentence using only s!not to bad, needs a story behind it. Tragedy needs build up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and were you thinking of Joan of Arc?

No matter how long, wide, colorful or bouncy, it is still just one sentence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And stories are much longer then one sentence. Also know that these are not allowed on this forum.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should have made a story and THEN posted it.

Its odd but...you sentence sounds like my poetry \ ....and wats weird is most of my poetry beggins with "and" :shock: ...i must say i didnt read slowly srry :mrgreen: ...well tats good...and well...i guess tats it..but it helps to write down all ur lil' ideas...i do it..i carry around a mini notebook just in case..well ok tats it thumbs up! :thumbsup:

Everyone else says this is odd?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many authors have a dream that usually inspries them to write a story. It's what drives the author. I liked it. Good job as always, Issy.

Hmm, that reminds me of a story I had begun (actually here on tipit forums) last year or so. I started it midway with a girl and a dead body. haha. So I'll tell you what I was told. This has potential, but you need to finish it. Tie together the peices. I never did, and I regret it. But I'm just to lazy to continue with it. lol. Either throw away the Idea right now completely before it has grown interest, or finish it. lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look, I found my story!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?t=218746&highlight=

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that I've re read over it I realize how crappy it is...lol. but you can see what I mean. My original idea started with the girl and the dead body. lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeh...when I read your sentence it reminded me vaguely of my own. or atleast my original concept/paragraph.