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Simpsons quotes

Featured Replies

Just post any funny or cool Simpsons quotes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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From the episode where Bart is dating Reineer Wolfcastle's daughter, in it Principal Skinner is planning on doing a stand-up comedy act.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Principal Skinner is standing at the microphone in a bar, the audience quiets down*

 

 

 

Skinner: How come you always run out of tardy slips before you run out of permission slips?!

 

 

 

*crowd is silet*

 

 

 

Nelson Muntz: How come you suck??

 

 

 

Skinner: Because I lack self confidence and still live with my mother.

Runescaper (off and on) since late 2001

Homer is so quotable, just google classic simpson quotes or something. You'll get stuff like this: http://www.shanemcdonald.com/laughs/l-homer.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brilliant stuff :D The newer episodes though? Urgh, talk about fishing for jokes. It's tainted one of the greatest series of all time IMO.

  • Author
Homer is so quotable, just google classic simpson quotes or something. You'll get stuff like this: http://www.shanemcdonald.com/laughs/l-homer.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brilliant stuff :D The newer episodes though? Urgh, talk about fishing for jokes. It's tainted one of the greatest series of all time IMO.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Agree completely, even though there's still the odd episode that kind of makes you laugh. It's all garbage, it's such a shame. All they focus on now is homer's stupidity, and although Homer is a funny guy, after a while they run out of ideas and it's just plain stupid, not funny stupid, but stupid.

Runescaper (off and on) since late 2001

1 Quote owns them all - "Doh!"

122 Combat : 99 Hits : 99 Attack : 99 Strength

97/99 Defence : 99 Fletching : 99 Woodcutting

bart: yeah, I'm looking for someone, last name hugnkiss, first name amanda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moe:I need anamda hug'nkiss! where can I find amanda hug'n'kiss! why can't I fond amanda hug'n'kiss?!?

Homer: alcohol is a way of life! its my way of life and i intend to keep it!

 

 

 

and heres another Homer:i'd sell my soul for a donut

homer: no beer, no tv make homer go something something...

 

 

 

marge: go crazy.?

 

 

 

homer: DON"T MIND IF I DO!!! ADFHASDOFA SDKLJA SDGJSL GE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:wink:

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ralph to a wolf: "will you be my mommy?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

wolf: *bites his collar and carries him away*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ralph: "you smell like dead bunnies."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chief wiggum: sorry ralphie, they rejected your recipe. i think your crayon sandwich is good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ralph: you only had a pretend bite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chief wiggum: *takes a bite*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ralph: can you taste the thumbtacks?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chief wiggum: *sigh* ah cr*p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

homer: hey you, milton, go home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

milhouse: its milhouse!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

homer: yeah, well your dad's 'no house'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

flanders: hello, neighborino to the north!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

canadian: hoodly oodly!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

flanders and canadian: doodly oodly.. oodly doodly doo!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

canadian: would you like to puff on a reefereeno? they're legal here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

flanders: ..i was warned satan would be attractive..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

abe [grandpa] : thanks, johnny, and for my appreciation i'd like to give you this dvd player.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

johnny: ..what the heck? ..where do you pour the syrup..?

splintercellsheepzf9.jpg

Krusty the Clown: "and hire me Kenny G to play in my elevator!" :lol:

"Da mihi castitatem et continentam, sed noli modo"

homer: no beer, no tv make homer go something something...

 

 

 

marge: go crazy.?

 

 

 

homer: DON"T MIND IF I DO!!! ADFHASDOFA SDKLJA SDGJSL GE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:wink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FTW! ^_^

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ralph: I've got a leprechaun! He tells me to burn things!

 

 

 

Leprechaun: Go ahead! When they turn around, BURN THE HOUSE!

 

 

 

*Ralph lets out a cheeky smile*

knkcopy.jpg

Simpsons is the greatest cartoon sitcom. Has better lines than Family Guy imo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

 

 

 

Lisa: No.

 

 

 

Homer: Ham?

 

 

 

Lisa: No!

 

 

 

Homer: Pork chops?

 

 

 

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!

 

 

 

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Homer: Bad bees! Get away from my sugar! Ow! Ow!! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?

 

 

 

Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... [laughs hysterically] So to answer your question, I don't know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Homer: If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

ralph: hi mrs. simpson!

 

 

 

marge: aah! [sprays ralph with pepper spray]

 

 

 

ralph: [cries] ..even my boogers taste spicy.

splintercellsheepzf9.jpg

Bart: there ya go fish bulb

 

 

 

Homer: ok kids Lets go home

 

 

 

Lisa: we r home

 

 

 

Homer: that was fast

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i may have some of the wording wrong it was by memory

Desti is Back (H)

flagani22393ar9.gif

Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homey. Lisa's becoming very obsessive.

 

 

 

Homer: I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke! It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa! Get in here. [Lisa walks in] In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love that one :D

"Da mihi castitatem et continentam, sed noli modo"

I got one... it's rather long. It's not exactly a quote for-say, but you get the point

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smithers: *enters moes* Hi, I'm looking for a Job?

 

 

 

Moe: Yeah, ok, what I want you to do is gaurd Barney until the beer is safely off the delivery truck.

 

 

 

Barney: It will be a pleasure working with you, sir! *BUURP*

 

 

 

Homer: No, smithers! I know all of us in our darkest hours have contemplated taking the Barney gaurding job, but that's for losers! You have to face up to who you are!

 

 

 

Smithers: You're right!

 

 

 

Clock: *tick* *DONNG!*

 

 

 

Barney's Chair: *empty* *spinning*

 

 

 

Moe: oh.. My... GOD!

 

 

 

Delivery Truck: *Pulls up*

 

 

 

Delivery Guy: Hi, I've got a delivery of beer, I just need you to sign -- Oh no, IT'S YOU!

 

 

 

CRASHING NOISE

 

 

 

Moe: *cringes*

 

 

 

SPINNING NOISE

 

 

 

Barney: *BUURP*

 

 

 

Moe: *Cries*

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