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Breaking news: Guthix wakes, hits snooze button

Posted by Troacctid, in Runescape, Humor 06 March 2013 · 3,386 views

Ardougne, 24 Moevyng 170

The earth trembled today as the great god Guthix, one of the most powerful beings in the known universe, was roused from a centuries-long slumber. It quickly stopped trembling, as Guthix immediately went back to sleep.

According to witnesses, Guthix, responsible for singlehandedly ending the God Wars that nearly destroyed the world, did proclaim unto his followers: "Just ten more minutes, mommy."

"He also said something about needing his rest, and that the cabbage alarm went off too early," said Thaerisk Cemphier, a close follower of the God of Balance who was present at the scene. "At least, that's what we think. He was sort of mumbling, so it was hard to make out."

Almost immediately after the event, representatives of Azzanadra held a press conference advocating dumping a bucket of ice water on Guthix's head.

When asked why he didn't just set his alarm slightly later, or go to bed slightly earlier, Guthix replied, "Zzzzzzzzzzz [snort] [smacking noise] zzzzzzz." More as the story unfolds.

Lawl. Is it bad that I read this as a ABC news report. This was great.
I think I love you, Troacctid.
    • Alg likes this
Tip from an anonymous source: Zamorak followers are planning to put his finger in a glass of warm water.

Tip from an anonymous source: Zamorak followers are planning to put his finger in a glass of warm water.

I really hope that doesn't include chopping the finger first, because I don't think that's possible to be done. :P

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About the author

Troacctid began adventuring in Runescape in early 2007, and has since traveled all across Gielinor and accumulated healthy amounts of knowledge, wealth, and power. She enjoys undermining evil world-domination schemes, defending the innocent from oppression, wrestling sharks out of the water with her bare hands, and Magic: The Gathering. Her friends call her "Pi".

The name "troacctid" is an acronym for "The Ratio of A Circle's Circumference To Its Diameter" which of course is Pi. Hence the nickname.

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