anonymous1234

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5264 bottles of hard liquor.

5272. I only smell Chinese stir fry.

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5309. Why so serious?

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5323.

5330.

5342. The joke was that it was so horrible that it wasn't funny, duh.

5352. Psh, that wasn't even funny. Here's one: A man walks into a bar, and immediately orders several rounds of hard liquor. The bartender asks him if he will have friends arriving shortly. The man says no, and proceeds to tell the bartender that he plans on slowly drinking himself to death, because he is extremely upset about the loss of his wife in a savage murder. The bartender apologizes, but tells the man to cheer up, and at least she's in a better place, to which the man replies, "She was atheist," and shoots himself in the head. Days later, his funeral is held, and his body is buried next to his wife. Their four children, all under the age of five, are now orphaned, and deeply distraught about the loss of both of their parents. They eventually get adopted, but are split up. As the youngest son, only 6 months old, is getting driven home with his foster parents from grocery shopping, they get hit by a large SUV from the side, and they are all killed instantly. The oldest son, 4 years old, gets adopted by a gay couple who always wanted a child. Unfortunately, after several months of happy bonding, the boy is diagnosed with severe leukemia, and is given only 1 month to leave. When he has about a week left, on his fifth and last birthday, he blows out the candles and wishes that his parents had never died. While saying this out loud, he becomes so upset and full of grief, that he smashes the cake away, candles and all, and their cactus plant accidentally catches on fire. Acting quickly, one of the fathers try to foolishly douse the flame in the nearest liquid: french fry oil. The flames explode, and everybody is scalded with horrible burns. Shrieks of agony were heard by the neighbors as the rest of the house slowly starting burning, and there were no survivors. The other two children, two girls and twins, stayed together, under the supervision of the very bartender that the man talked to before he shot himself. One night, they decided to play in the swimming pool, because it was a warm April night, and the bartender hired a babysitter. However, this foolish teen had fallen asleep, and the twins soon found themselves drowning in the pool. They both died, leaving no more living descendants of the poor man who lost his wife. What none of them knew, however, was that the very person who had hit his wife with a car, was the man!

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5373. You could, but you won't XD

5375. And now you do :P

5378. I clicked the text because when I pasted the url in my bar it showed up as Rick Astley, and I like him, so I hit enter.

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