blaah

I don't know why I started talking about it here. When I first started coming, I was going through a lot of the same friendship issues, but I kept it separate. Now I don't know how to separate anymore, I just spill. I guess I used to keep it to myself really well, when I'd keep it all on my ipod. I could say more there too because nobody else was reading it. I might start doing that again. Also, I just put my foot under my backpack. I felt slight warmth, and it was kind of soft I guess... I thought it was a cat. SO DISAPPOINTED TO KNOW IT'S JUST A BACKPACK

As a rule, all living creatures become less cute when they sleep as they grow older. Since domesticated animals have shorter lifespans than humans, it's easier for them to be cute while sleeping for their entire lives.

I think she changed her mind, don't know for sure. She must have known someone there before. I don't know a lot about her really, I think she talks to a lot of people online. not that I don't do the same, I just don't date online or decide to move based on my online friends but I get more notifications on TIF than facebook sometimes

Interesting. There's another thing about college, you change your mind a million times about where to go, then what to major in, what kind of career you want... and then sometimes you don't go into that career because you change your mind more. [hide=blah blah blah]My mom was a few credits off 4 year in nursing but had her RN, but she finished that up when she was pregnant with me. She didn't start working because she then kept having kids and getting us going in our early lives. She went on tons of field trips with us, volunteered a lot in the schools, and was a stay at home mom until I hit middle school when she took a seasonal cashiering job at Target after a random argument with my dad about how she didn't work. She stayed there, moved into guest service and cash office, and put a word in at the pharmacy because she was more interested in doing something that could eventually require neurons. She started as a cashier back there doing most of the work of a tech, then ended up getting an open tech position, still what she does today. So, she uses some things she learned in nursing school about drugs and whatnot, but not her RN. Before wanting to be a nurse, she started out going into business, then international business, then undecided, then biology, then nursing, switching between three schools and taking semesters off to work. Life throws you all over the place.[/hide]

shoo, up past bedtime. I can break rule this week tho, I go home and thro off slep pattarn anywehh

that's insane

Not actual rape and it's only to a couple people, I just touch their hair and thighs (closer to knee than genitals) when I hear certain song lyrics or wha evar

When I'm upset, it ends more along these lines (ha, a pun, since these... yeah okay.) [hide=Looks like a rant eh]It's not you, it's me. Going crazy. I push you You push back And instead of getting back up I take another step back I dig the hole Jump in And yell at you from the bottom Acting like you pushed me Knowing you didn't And waiting for you To pull me out The dreams are just coming from someone with a sick sense of humor, mocking my every thought and giving me desires I'll never get, goals way out of reach, reasons for me to hate myself more, bringing me to tears when I taste reality. But if the people weren't spoon-feeding me the same things the dreams do, treating me like the baby I see myself as, if they'd just give me a spoonful of reality every so often - no, force-feed me, shove it down my throat - then I wouldn't be the baby anymore and I'd get over myself and stop thinking my opinions are right and understand the people I see now as idiots. If I didn't set myself as greater than, if I set myself as equal to - no, less than or equal to, or just less than - I'd look around better and see that the majority rules, they've gotta be right, I'm not smarter or even as smart as. I don't know anything except baby food and bottles, if I ate something substantial and drank straight alcohol, if I ran around with them in groups and partnered up and told myself things I see as mistakes were the right things to do, if I pushed harder, if I stayed quiet, if I did what I had to and then what I could do, if I did what I shouldn't do, maybe I'd make it. But probably not, because I'm me and they're them and I stepped into that hole and they ran up a mountain. I curl up Into that position I take Like a baby And instead of trying to get up I close my eyes I fall asleep Dreaming Screaming out from the pain Acting like I didn't ask for it When I know it's my fault And wishing I could be strong And stop waiting for someone To save me[/hide] Buzzkill, I think I'm okay now

I don't know what just happened. I should take a speed test now. I just don't know what happened. I felt like I needed to say a million things at once, and I'm not upset. Usually that's when I become overloaded with thoughts. I am going insane. I think I've done it again. That insanity cliff. That edge. This metaphor has nothing to do with the fact that "Edge of Glory" is currently playing. I have hit this edge before. Sometimes I become overloaded with thoughts and have to let them all out at once. I usually have some sense of sanity and don't let them escape, but sometimes I face the edge of that sanity cliff, and I just fell again. I'm trying to climb back up with my abundance of energy but I'm laughing. Shaking. Going crazy. Sometimes you let yourself fall into craziness just to feel the escape from reality. It's like a sort of high, just completely safe and natural. I've done it before, happy and upset. Usually people tell me to stop because I do this out loud. Other times, when I release like this or record my thoughts to look at for myself at a later time, I just lose the energy and feel okay. Like right about ... now.

TELL ME BABY, IF IT'S WRONG, TO LET MY HANDS, DO WHAT THEY WANT

Sororities and fraternities just support a whole bunch of roleplaying with all the roles they establish and calling it family

Sometimes I get a little rapey when I hear certain parts of certain songs, but the people who understand me most understand and accept it. It's perfectly fine for me to force my hand into someone's hair and run my fingers through and then proceed to rub their thigh if they've given consent by being my friend

awk

Tengo un examen en la clase de español mañana

when all is said and done, more will have been said than done I'm going to start doing my silence thing again of course, here you hear nothing from me, only read my words

egg + mayo + mustard = salad, duhh + bread = sandwich nomnomnom

I will go bed around midnight, I will wake up at 8, put clothes on and whatnot, go class 9-12, eat lunch, come back, run, shower, watch Dexter, snack, do homeworks, probably chill with Jessie and do homeworks, have supper, sit around, do homeworks, snack, watch TV, chill, bed again. I should probably pack tomorrow too, whooop forgot to include

If I lay on my back and try to look down I get an eyefull of boob, the type of boob that would hurt me if I was dancing shirtless

I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT

I want an egg salad sandwich, woman go to the kitchen and make me one