Burnt_arven

A bit of spelling and grammar trouble along with a fairly simple story but, hey. I like it. Keep going, you have some creative writing skill. I also think the whole layout is stylishly done too: The prologue and chapters thing is cool.

Nice concept I guess... but will this continue on? Sirus got his revenge but now what? Oh well, it's good. :)

Whoah - A lot of emotion - sounds like you've been listening to some music which has gotten your adrenaline pumping. Maybe gangsta rap? Seriously though, it's actually got great potential for a young adults/ teen book or somethin'. The storyline is pretty good. :wink:

Good work. :) A lot of effort has gone into this and I can see you have great talent. Keep it up.

Powerful story, well told. I read this first - but am now considering reading the other story. Nice 8)

Lay off him already, it seems like he purposely changed the name to jejex for his own reasons. Maybe to point out it's fictional. ------------------------ Overall nice attempt with your story. It's pretty good. Also, I agree with what zonorhc has to say. He has a point. 8)

:lol: thats cool, 8)

This is good. I find it pretty hard to get an idea out of my head, but you seem to have done it. 8)

Arven cringed, A servant of zamorak mercilessly brought an iron down across his flesh wounds sealing up the deeper cuts. He was a mess. A gash on his forehead, burns all over and many cuts and bruises upon his chest. Another servant bandaged the cuts round his chest with the help of a mage who casted a small spell to help tend tp his wounds. Earlier today him, A high ranking Captain and a small battalion of black knights had organised an assault on a group of travellers. They met these travellers head on - unprepared, a large proportion of the black knights were unexperienced and had not seen the heat of battle before. The attack did not go well and the black knights had all been slain except he and Captain Smedos who had been forced to flee. "You can go now." Arven spoke. The servants bowed and left after finishing on his burns. Whoever these people were, they were highly experienced. Arven sensed that the Hells Judge was wary of them and next time Arven fought he would be better prepared for it. Arven stood up, wet a rag and mopped his brow with it. It sure was hot here. Or perhaps he was burning up? There was a knock at the door and a man entered the dimly lit room It was Captain Val, followed closely behind by two black knights. Captain Val ushered them to leave and then spoke up. "The attack today displeases the Judge." Said Captain Val Oh great. Where is this leading? Arven thought. "We, lead them into a false sense of security." Arven hastily added. "Yes, I'm sure." replied Val. He seemed amused by Arven's anxiety. "However, you are to launch a new assault." Captain Val scratched his chin before adding "Oh, and failure will not be tolerated." Captain Val left the room. Arven stood up and walked to the corner of his room. He placed a black plate mail over his head and clipped it into place. There was a large dent around his chest which he would have to take to the smithy later. He than grabbed a dagger and slung it around his hips and left the room. He made his way along a dark corridor into a room filled with yells of excitement and the sound of laughter. It was a dark room filled with dark knight's, thieves, pirate's, dark mages and many others drinking heartily. This room was filled with alot of rough people, many of whom he would have slayed to earn a gold piece here and there. A lot of attention was drawn to the corner, where a bar room brawl seemed to be going on. Arven crept closer to see what was going on. A large warrior loomed above a man crouched upon the floor. This man had a long beard and long hair which was strung back. He looked quite tough and had quite a red complexion. "I, Korr. Am the strongest man in this room and can crush any man's skull with my bare hands. You are no challenge!" He spat. The man below him had a small grin upon his face - He looked like a thief. but seemed more confident, he had a bow strung across his back and he carried an assortment of daggers, for close situations like this one. The little man sprung up and stabbed 'Korr' in the shoulder, then darted round him. Taking advantage of his speed and swinging his dagger in 'Korr's' direction. However, one of 'Korr's' clumbsy attacks made contact with the small man and sent him sprawling into a nearby table. Korr then proceded to go after the man when Arven interfered. He leaped in the way and used all his strength to push Korr aside. Looks like I've just found two men for the job. Arven thought. Arven then helped the small man up. "What is your name?" He asked. The man sat up. "I am Rufus, renowned thief and archer. How can I help you?" He sneered. "Looks, like you guys are just the people I need." replied Arven. Arven started to feel drowsy and decided to find Smedos, perhaps he could help Arven out with that. Besides, they had to prepare their next assault and Captain Smedos was just the man he needed to see.

Okay, here I go. It's pretty long. At least for me. I'm open to any criticism :) -------------------------------------------------------- Arven's eyes were wide in shock. In front of him was the biggest sack of gold he had ever been offered in his life. 'We pay half now and half later.' Said Captain Val 'Whoa, whoever you want dead must be quite important.' Arven gasped. *** Lets go back a few hours. Arven was travelling across the wild after a good dayÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s earnings; he had amassed a few full helmets, long swords and a small sack of gold. The usual pkers were out and about along with ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅpuresÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Nice development in the story. You guy's are talented :twisted:

Meh, just trying out a story. Thanks tho

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅA tale from the TavernÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Nice work. Maybe you like eminem can make certain words rhyme? Nice, It's original

Whoah, It's taken me about 2-3 hours to read through it and I'm still going. So far, I see Aming and Aleksandar are the main characters as they have posted more frequently and seem to hold the story together and the other characters have a good plot going. Anyway I will finish up reading then see what to do from there. Oh well. here is my Character. ----------------------------------- Name: Burnt Arven (Simply reffered to as Arven or Burnt to not add to many 'A' names which I have noticed) Age: 26 A man approaches, long pale hair obscures his tanned face, his body is covered in vicious scars and deep wounds revealing many conflicts and battles. He is tall and muscular, with the build of a warrior who has seen many fights. His eyes are dark and his gaze, fierce and intent. He is Burnt arven, A young man of 26 struggling to earn his way through the harsh world called "runescape". An outcast, abandoned as a kid he has worked hard and trained rigorously and become somewhat of a mercenary taking whatever side he sees fit for his next payment of gold. Doing whatever he can to gain respect (in whatever form), Valor and recognition in his name. As a lone vagabond he travels and lives by his own accords. ----------------------------------- Okay, I will finish reading through the story so far. :) (Update) Okay, I've read through it now. Yay :D