sirith_knight

Lol, don't dis these. They're just funny little short stories. I find them fun to read, even though I usually like long stories there is just somethin about it...

Are u an Inuyasha fan? This soulds a bit similar lol. Evil demon trying to be good with a sword that grows in battle with white hair, etc... Kinda like Devil May Cry in a way too. Oh well, sounds cool :D Now write the first chapter/part.

Lol, these are funny because everyone dies :twisted: Ok, now do the one for a river troll. Then perhaps the legend of Big Fish, or the exploding rock..... the first ent, I could go on all day. I feel bad for all that wasted adamant ore....

Hmmm....intresting.... I still stand by what I said but the second is certainly better. Keep on posting and I'll be sure to read. Chaos, the evil twin brother, bwahaHAHAH ahem.... :roll: Now to read "The First Goem" or whatever it is called.

Ok, I assume this is part one of a longer story. It was actually a bit difficult to read, always capitalize name and use punctuation. When someone is talking you capitalize the first word in quotation marks too. I say this a lot.... try to make the next one a bit longer... that was like 11 sentences.

Lol, I liked it. The story behind the spirit. Good description in the battle as well. You should make one for a golen or river troll next. That would be fun to read.

You know you've been playing RS too long when you get a burger king hat and brag to all your friends about finding a golden party hat. You know you've been playing RS too long when your eyes begin to bleed. You know you've been playing RS too long when you switch computers every now and then so a big fish doesn't spit your computer across the room. You know you've been playing RS too long when you call little children noobs, kill them, and expect them to spawn back in Lumbridge perfectly fine. You know you've been playing RS too long when think you can eat a cake or pizza in 3 bites. You know you've been playing RS too long when you get frightened because it is dark outside. You know you've been playing RS too long when you attempt to catch a shark in your pond with a harpoon. You know you've been playing RS too long when you walk up to random people and ask if they have a quest you can go on.

sry, stupid (insert F-word with ing at the end here) lag!

Lol, all the story forums are usually dead, don't let it get you down. As for grammer mistakes, not as many. I'll tell you a few I saw( just constructive criticizm, not personal :D ) Looked is capitalized in the first post, not supposed to be. Completed spelled wrong at begining of second one, Bronze sword in thrird.... not sure if it is supposed to be capitalized... In the last one, Varrock(with a k at the end), togeather in last one too....together -not a bad story over all, keep it up. Lots of times people read and don't post, or are too lazy to read a longer story. Sometimes its depressing, but it will all be well, lol. -A very good way to check for mistakes and improve quality, proofread twice before a post. You may miss something, but it turns out MUCH better, trust me. :wink: hope I was atleast some help.

I really enjoy this story Tenshi, it is one of the very best I've read on a forum. You show emotion very well and it kind of draws you into the story. I have a friend who's writing style is very similar to yours. I always enjoy a love story as well. A story in which you feel the emotion of the characters, and the feelings they have for each other. Then sorting through conflicts that arise. As for the flame war getting started..... Everyone is entitled to a different opinion, and everyone will "see" this story in a different perspective. Writing ability is not one simple attribute, it takes many abilities to write a truely great piece of art. Age and intelligence like you two have stated, but it is more than that. The way you live, and events that occur in life, your firends, quality of life all change your writing. People who have a passion for literature will usually be able to write better then someone who doesn't really care. The list could go on forever.Your both right in your own mind, so don't fight about it; just sit back and enjoy this great story. Keep up the good work Tenshi, I will surely read the next one. :wink:

Chapter 1: The Shadow Dragons "Fight me, Jamie, if you dare!" I screamed and drew my sword from it's sheath. I pointed my shining mithral blade towards him and gripped the handle tightly. Sweat was trickling down my forehead and anger pulsed through my body. My heart was racing, I was both exited and scared as Jamie reached back and grasped his battle axe. "If you wish to fight me, then so be it." Jamie yelled pulling his his axe out in front of him. It was well crafted, made of steel, but was also used. Knicks and [racist term]s in the edges could be seen clearly, not a dull blade, but not at full potential. I looked down at my own shining blade, new and of a stronger metal, light and powerful. I had the advantage, but Jamie is more powerful and skilled then myself. I took a fighting stance, blade outward, my feet planted into the rough ground. The thick forest allowed little patches of light to shine through, but it was bright enough to see clearly. A perfect battleground,mid-Autumn, in the midde of no where. I was still breathing heavily and sweating, but I held my sword tight and charged forward. Anger surged through my veins, adrinaline level rising. My own friend, enemy in a fight, no longer training together, but a fight to the death. Time seemed to stand nearly motionless, like a was watching my own body heading towards Jamie, sword now swinging to the side to prepare for a blow. I can still remember when we were only children, pretending to be fighters, using branches as swords. Another step. Jamie, motionless for the moment, like waiting to endure the blow. A mere ten feet away now, and approaching. Jamie, how could he, my friend, his friend. I tightened my grip on the blade, a gust of wind rushing past, blowing dead leaves arcross our forest set arena. Another step, less then nine feet. Regret, I could sence it, illuminating from Jamie, remorse, I tried to pay no attention, and Jamie moved. His eyes, to the ground, staring with no attention to the outside world, deep thought, transitive. Another step. With a breath I began to swing my sword, now picturing myself, a branch in hand, Jamie with one as well, smiling, true happiness. Life, so simple, our biggest worries were what chores would be adressed to us as we returned home from a day of fun in the forest, the fields, the lakes, or where ever our imaginations could take us. Regret with every hour that passed for the sunlight was closer to its end for that day. All of us, not just Jamie and myself; Marc, smart and funny, an optimist. Thomas, a little troubled, but a big heart and cheerful spirit and willing. Another step, sword now beginning to swing, Jamie's eyes raise up, as does his axe. Shadow, smart, tall, and strong. Jessie, anger issues, but a great guy at heart. Ben, short and not very strong, but smart with a great sence of humor, always fun to be with. Another step, Jamie's axe still rising, my sword still swinging, ready to clash. Sean, short and comedic, not the brightest but with good intentions. The final step. A strong wind, a clash of metal ringing through out the forest. Birds scatter from the trees in shock. I look at Jamie axe held tight in his hands, my sword, against its blade. I struggle to push forward, but to no avail. Jamie, the stronger between us two was able to withhold. Suprisingly, no emotions could be seen within his eyes, blank, lifeless. I jumped away from Jamie, sword at a defensive position. He made no attempt to strike, only stare.... I began to lower my sword, but denied my arms the privelage. Jamie on the other hand did lower his weapon. I was not one to be fooled though, and charged in for a second attack. Sword, branch of an old tree, high over head. Jamie pulled his axe to a defencesive stance and my sword struck the edge of his blade. Sparks flew and Jamie quickly leapt away from me. I jumped to the side tried quick attack. Jamie's axe was too heavy to fully resist the blow and he was knocked off balance and on to the forest floor. The sun was cast in shadow by the trees, darkness poured over Jamie's body, and my own. Leaves crunched beneath my feet and I walked towards him, sword pointed to the ground. I quickly lifted my blade to the sky and brought it down with a poweful swing towards my opponent's chest. Jamie grasped his axe tightly and pulled it in front of him. I hit the steel handle and strained as I tried to force his own axe down upon him. Unfortunately, Jamie is more powerful and easily threw off my attack. I drew my sword back and stared into his eyes. No fear or remorse anymore, you could feel his power just by looking into his eyes. I have an uncanny ability, to read eyes, know what a person feels. Eyes don't lie, you could see death in his pupils, blood stains in his conscious. My own friend, Jamie, but after what he did, I wanted him dead. Only yesterday I had witnessed Jamie slaughtering his and my own friend Sean. I knew, but hadn't told Jamie, and now I wished to avenge Sean's death. Jamie, a killer, I never would have thought, or knew if my own eyes had not seen the masacre. I shook off the sickening feeling and swung down at Jamie once again. He rolled to the left and my sword struck the ground with a tremendous force. "Why Jamie?" I yelled pulling my sword up out of the ground. "Why would you kill him, he was your friend!" Tears of anger were forming at the brims of my eyes, blurring my vision and thoughts. "You don't understand Steven, I had a reason!" Jamie said as he leapt up to his feet, leaving his axe on the ground. "You must understand, Sean betrayed me, and my family, he killed my brother!" Jamie grabbed me by the shoulders, "you must believe me, he was in a corrupted clan, Steven." "Why should I believe you?" I asked, putting my sword upon Jamie's throat. "He's dead, I can't ask for the truth!" I could see blood forming on the blade of my sword. My heart was pounding harder then ever now, I couldn't contain my confusion, disorientation was filling my body as mixed emotions processed in my mind, which to believe? I saw Jamie with my own eyes, but he may be telling the truth. "Steven, please, I swear I had to do it. It hurt me as much as you, but Sean wasn't himself anymore. He was like a zombie, he would have slottered me if I hadn't killed him first!" I stared into Jamie's dark blue eyes. They were wide with despair, truthful eyes, not those of a murderer. Tears were now beginning to roll down his face, it had been many years since I had seen him cry, and he has a high tolerance for pain, emotional tears. I pulled my sword away from him. I stared into his eyes. "Jamie, you know how to prove it to me! You know what you need to do!" I yelled putting my sword to his throat. He knew what he needed to do and he did. He lowered his eyelids a bit, thinking hard. I began to see an image. Jamie, and his brother Joey. They are walking down the back alleys of town. There was Sean, he stepped from around the side of a building, no not Sean. That was not the Sean I know, he was very pale ghost white, his eyes glossy as well. He had a twisted smile and his mace down to his side. He looked mad, at Jamie? Why? Jamie took a step toward Sean, but Sean just stood there, staring at....not Jamie, Joey. "What is wrong Sean, you look sick." Jamie said, concern in his voice. Sean was shaking violently and began to raise his mace. "Jamie, he has to die, he has to, and you too!" Sean screeched, but no one around to here him, alley abandoned. Sean shifted his gaze to Jamie, "the lord Hyrocyte says you must die Jamie, you are a threat!" Sean took a step forward, mace now raised to battle stance. He was still shaking violently, possesed it seemed. His eyes now rolling around his head, like he was losing his mind. "Sean, I have to get you to the hospital, your not well." Jamie said now taking a step back, hand on his axe handle. "Joey looked very frieghtened, still inexperienced and being trained by Jamie. A rather strong monk, Joey was, everyone knew he would take after his brother; looked just like him. "Joey, get going, now! Run home, I'll handle it!" Jamie turned and screamed. Sean had the had the first strike though, pulling out a rusty poisoned dagger and tossing it powerfully at Joey as he turned to run. The blade hit him square in the back, possibly striking his spine. He gave a gasp for breath and fell to the ground, not yet dead, but unconcious; poison seeping through his blood stream now. Jamie turned, eyes wide with fear and pain, and stared at his dying brother. "Your next Jamie." Sean said in a hoarse whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. Jamie looked back towards Sean who was now a mere ten feet away. Jamie pulled the dagger from Joey's back and tossed it towards Sean, but it was blocked by his shield. Jamie tore off Joey's shirt and wrapped it around the wound, Sean still approaching. "Jaaaaamie.... I'm coming." Sean said, a voice not of this world. Jamie quickly scooped up his brother and began running down the alley, away from this possesed "Sean." He exited the alleyway and looked to the left, the hospital. The dream faded away momentarily, and when it came back to view Joey was lying on a medical cot, dead. Jamie was knealed down beside the cot, crying, "I will kill you Sean, you will die!" He screamed out in pain. "I swear I will for you joey, I love you; reast easy." Jamie leaned forward and kissed Joey on the forehead. The vision was over, I was looking at Jamie, with tears forming in his eyes. I pulled my sword away immediately. "Jamie, I....I didn't know, I'm so sorry." I truely was, now that I had seen what Jamie had, his motives were clear. "I feel the pain too Steven, I will miss him dearly, and on a daily basis. He was a great man, a true friend ; corrupted at his prime, so unfair, life." I could tell he was devestated as much as I was, and I felt regret for attacking him. "Jamie, I truely am sorry, I misjudged your reasoning. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, pain fogged my thought process. Sean... gone forever." I wiped tears away from my eyes and stood straight, trying to contain my emotions. "It's okay Steven, I know it hurts, but we have a problem. This clan is becoming more powerful by the day, a religion of its own inside it. We have to take action before they are too powerful. A fullscale raid won't work." I looked at Jamie a bit confused, his eyes were to the ground though. "Their fortress in the west is very powerful, guard numbers excede four hundred." "Four hundered warriors is not enough to resist the forces of Sirith, four thousand isn't. Our armies numbers are in the low-thousands in the town alone. Others scattered across the land, a great naval and land force." "Not enough." Jamie replied confidently. "You said four hundred guards, our skilled knights, archers, and mages can handle those forces with most ease." I said, actually wanting to laugh at the remark. "They have a type of sorcery that is at the level of gods. These guards are summoned creatures of a very powerful necromancer assassin. Special though, they need no one to control them, act as their master tells them. He goes by the name of Hyrocyte. The human defences are within the castle and scattered about the towns, numbers in the low thousands as well. Our target is souly Hyrocyte though." "How powerful are these summoned creatures if they can hold off an entire army?" I said in amazement. "They have the power of a dragon, and many of their features. Thus the name of the clan is Shadow Dragons. These warrior beasts stand at about ten feet tall, teeth of a dragon, strength of a dragon, wings of a dragon, and the intellectual level of a dragon, or perhaps surpassing. Able to see in the dark as well as in the day, eyes, cold as steel. Children are powerful, but their strength nearly quadruples as an adult, and they gain the ability to breath fire. A flaw though... A single dragon warrior is nearly ten times as powerful as myself. They have bad hearing though, which is why I suggest a smallscale stealth invasion." Jamie looked a bit frightened now. "The members......the lure of the clan is greatly powerful. They become obsessed with ultimate power, domination, immolation. They stop acting themselves, some kill themselves, driven to insanity in the presence of loved ones. Even the most powerful of minds can be drawn over, with your gift you are not even safe." Jamie dropped the rag from his neck and continued. "They are planning a raid soon. Starting with the villages immediately outside the fortress. Sirith would be reached within a few weeks. Our spy claims the raids will begin in ten days, we must act before then." "I know the perfect team to take on the job. The top warriors of the land." I said smiling and sheathing my sword. "You dont mean....." Jamie said putting away his axe. "Yes I do, the Holy Dragon Allegiance! We can get the old team back together, we were the best around after all. Together, with our variety of skills and tactics, we may be able to take down Hyrocyte." "Yeah, that sounds great. Me, you, Marc, Shadow, Thomas, Jessie, and Ben." Jamie said very excited. "I never did ask, how did you get all this information?" "The high council of Sirith suggested a spy. He retrieved the information I have relayed to you and was then converted to the Shadow Dragons. He was a brave and powerful soldier, but the pull of the Shadow Dragons is stronger." "I know the location of Thomas, he is my cousin after all, and Shadow is just a few miles west of Thomas's residence." "Marc and Ben live in town, and Jessie is a few miles to the north of town." Jamie said pointing in the direction he was speaking of. "We will plan our journey for three days from now, that should be suffiecient. You inform Thomas and Shadow. I will inform Jessie, Ben, and Marc. We can meet in the town square at noon after the week has passed." "Okay, best of luck Jamie. I will have to be off to find Thomas, it's been a few days since my last visit, he is a very powerful summoner, his dad trained him well.....He died recently though." I said mounting my horse. "Best of luck to you as well, until we meet again, God's speed." Jamie said and took off sprinting to the