sirith_knight

Hmmm, lot of things I haven't really established in my head yet. I kinda threw this together. I know I will go back, like i did in EoaW and change a ton of stuff. I may even eventually break this down into two shorter chapters. It is a bit longer than most and I know that by the end of the story I will be able to fit enough content in here to do so, just not sure if I will or how long it will be until I do. Anyway, here is chapter 3. Chapter 4 will be ready I dunno when. CHAPTER 3: Round One I stood long after the crowd began to disperse. I waited and stared at Hyrocyte, who walked out of the arena and over towards the door from which he entered. How I wished to kill him right here, but I would stand no chance. He had a mass of guards and most of the crowd would go to his aid as well. Maybe with the help of this dragon sword I will have the power. He said it grants unfathomable power, so why is he giving up ownership? It was a one-handed weapon after all, he could easily wield both. I didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t really care though. I was about to leave when a pair of hands once again grabbed my shoulders. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅWhat are you doing? Your fight starts in like three minutes! Get going, my arena is just in the other room, yours, however, is outside. They will disqualify you if you are not present when the match is scheduled to begin.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Bah, i reread first 2 chapters when I got bored. I realized I had never actually read the story when I wasn't proofreading and editting, lol. I took it in a lot different. Still managed to find like 25 errors in just chapter 1... lol, i fixed but I won't both to repost, it's far too much of a hassle with dial-up, takes like 15 minutes to do it, lol. I haven't worked on new story in a while, been caught up with WoW, but seeing as the servers are down right now I will write!

A bit shorter this time around, no action but a lot of plot is established, so you would need to read it. Next chapter will have quite a bit of action in it, so that should be fun. Anyway, enjoy. CHAPTER 2 The Tournament! ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅThis place is huge,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

"Fish Have Feelings Too" :D Ask all the little fishies not to cry and raise the water past the line, cities sink when whale sharks weep, so always treat the fishies nice. It's not the Mother of Nature, it's not the changing of tide, because of you the fish are crying Throw him back in the water, give him back to his father, they'll sob in his sorrow, for you've eaten his mother. Some day you'll be sorry, some day you will die, drowned by all the fish who cried, underwater homicide! ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅShadow DancersÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Lol, I read that and thought it was the entire story. I was like what the heck it was 2 lines, then I read the "will post in a bit" part and it was all better. Sounds pretty intense, darn nazi fools!

That was a pretty neat little story, but why did he come out way over by Falador, Draynor or wherever? He was in the undergroud pass after all, just wondering. I figured he would have come out in Ardougne anyway. I liked the story however, that was just a little bit that confused me. There was another strange bit after he got drunk with the drawf where I kinda got lost, but it was short. If you want me to rate I would have to give it a 8/10. Felt like you kinda sped through the end too, that's another thing I disliked. Just some constructive critisicm.

On WoW I play on a server called Spirestone, PvP, medium population. Kinda sucks right now cause our server is really messing up. My name is Nerzugal (lol, check out my new story to see a bit of a reference to this, he he he), feel free to add me. I hit 41 like 20 minutes ago, lol. If you are Horde I could help u out or sumthin. Also, when is next part coming out? I am looking forward to it. Oh yea, put it on MS word if you have, insta spell check and saves if u exit out. I always save my works after about 2 or 3 paragraphs because I have lost like 8 pages of content one time. You wanna talk about mad, oh buddy . . .

Okay, started second story. There is a reference to Eyes of a Warrior in this and there is a reason for that. This is kinda like the second part of that. The storyline will be much different but there will be a great similarity between the enemies power in the stories. They kind of draw from the same source . . . I have this part way laid out. I know what is going to happen, I just need to write it and fill in everything in between the main points of the storyline. This story should be much longer than eyes of a warrior, at least I planning on it to be. I don't plan for the realy problem to start until a hundred or so pages into the story, then they will have to figure it out and all this stuff. I am planning on giving a lot more info on all the character so you know them a bit better by the end of the tale. Of course there will be plenty of action still, but maybe not as rapid as in Eyes of a Warrior(EoaW cause it is easier). I really want to put a lot more plot into this one, rather than an all out action story. I think it makes for a much better story, and while some of you may think it is boring at first hopefully it will draw you in later. The next few chapters actually will be quite a bit of action, i mean it will be taking place at a fighting tourny, so that should be fun. I plan on making some rather lengthy intermissions between rounds though to add plot. In EoaW I kinda threw the plot into the battle and it made it a bit confusing. It is less so for me I suppose because I know the message I was trying to get, but to other people I realized it would be very difficult to comprehend everything going on at the same time and get confusing very quickly. Anyway, I hope you like this story a bit better, first part has like no action at all, just some introduction and character introduction, initial storyline setup as well. Anyway, I guess I kind of went on a rant. Happy reading :D LEGEND OF THE DRAGON SWORD PROLOGUE It was another peaceful day for me, Xavier Ralse. The sun was shining strongly through the kitchen window. My mom was cooking our dinner. I am only twelve, but I hope to be a blacksmith when I become an adult. I took a big breath of air and smelled the cooking trout that my father caught earlier. He was in his room doing some paper work. He buys and sells fish at the markets in town and he must know what to catch to get the best profit. My sister was outside trying to make a potion; she wants to become an apothecary but is only fifteen as of now. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅDinner is done,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Lol, I'm stuck browsing these forums like all day. WoW got 1.9 and it takes forever with 56k so i let it DL over night, lol. Anyway, that was pretty kool. You should say what kind of gnome it is that you go up against sometimes, like a mage, warrior, rogue(stupid stupid rogues, i hate you!), etc . . . Also, start a new paragraph when new people talk, it makes it kinda confusing if you don't. Like the part when the king was yelling at the gatekeeper. From what I'm thinking the king told the man not to let anyone in, then said he didn't because they won the battle. Pretty kool story. P.S.- the reason i hate rogues is beacause in AB those stupid rogues hit me in the back and jump in circles. I am a tauren druid and can kill em, but I can never click them! They are too small! So I either die or have to turn into my travel form and run. I guess that is kinda the reason for a rogue, but its 10x easier to kill any other kind of rogue. The mages hit from far away and are so tiny I can't tell where they are. I see a little name in red, but I seem to always click a log or sumthin...

Lol, that was funny. You just introduce characters and throw 'em away forever. I like how you show how stupid some of the things in RS are, and how the characters know someone is reading it. I haven't played RS in a loong while so i don't know much about the cat Bob. From what i have gathered reading stories and such he is really Zaros. Anyway, it made me laugh, good job.

Yea, i guess that cleared up the part about the wuss gnomes. They must be very stupid. It would take a long time to mobilize an entire army, postition it in front of a town, attack for like five minutes, and then just leave. They better lose, stupid gnomes. I hate gnomes more than any other race on World of Warcraft, lol. I was writing my reply while u were posting chapter 3, lol.

Well, welcome to the Tip.It story forum where people actually read your works of art :wink: That was pretty interesting, but I am a bit confused about what happened. You said the town celebrated the gnomes leaving with parties but there didn't seem to be much of a battle at all. 4 shots from a catapault and they left? I dunno, just thought that was a bit wierd. It also felt strange that you say that luckily only troops were killed as opposed to civilians, you treat them as they individually are no big deal. Just trying to give some constructive critisizm. Anyway, I will read whatever comes next. Oh yeah, I forgot how you spell (Saradomin?) but I know ow you spelled it was wrong. Just an FYI

Chapter 12: Cemetery of Legends I opened my eyes slowly, the light of the room was blinding after the long length of darkness I had endured. I shielded my view of the open window, and the sunlight pouring in through it, with my hand as I sat up. A pain sprang through my chest and I fell back down on to a soft pillow, I was in the hospital, not just any hospital though, the KingÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Hospital in the Castle of Syrith. A smile stretched across my face as I remembered what I had done. There were bandages all across my chest arms and legs, they must have covered a fourth of my body, I supposed I looked something like a mummy. I heard whispers and looked to the door on my left, the voice slowly grew louder, the soft voice of a women. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅNo, Jamie, he has still not awakened. We are not sure how long it will take for him to come out of this coma, he is lucky to be alive.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

As long as I live they live, and as long as they live, I live. They defend me so they remain alive. Neither of us can die, or it would be the death of the other. You must kill me to kill them, but to kill me you must first kill them, thus you have no chance of victory. No amount of soldiers can conquer my immortal dragons. It would be in your best interest to join me; I could make you my elite human guard. We could rule the world, think about it. You could die trying to defeat me, or grow prosperous at my side as rulers of the world. The decision seems to be an easy one.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅThere is over twenty guards out there and two shadow dragons. They are adult shadow dragons, too; the room is not huge, but big enough to get quite a few more guards in there.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

We were back on the road though, less than an hour to the castle. Everyone was physically fine now, even Jessie, MarcÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s potion had really done the trick. Spirits were not high however. It seems the closer we get to the castle the worse everyone begins to feel. You can sense danger here, the air is not clean, and the sun doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t shine as brightly, the animals are silent. The entire area has a dark presence to it. I could feel myself withering away, feeling fatigued when I have done nothing. Feeling cold when it is warm. I havenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t said anything to the others and I wondered if they were having the same feelings, they all seemed normal. My eyes had been hurting too, last night everything was in a green tint, but I could see, even though the sun had set behind the horizon. The road was worn, used very recently by a large group. I suggested some of the forces had already been assembled, Jamie agreed. I looked down wondering how many had walked the road that lay ahead. How many had died on the road ahead. I could feel the sharp knife of fear poking at my mind. The blade plunged deep when I saw the footprints. Large footprints of a dragon, only slightly different. The claws were slightly longer, and the foot was more slender than that of a normal dragon. They dug deep in the ground; the monster behind the print was large the size of the dragon from the SarahÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s FatherÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s memory. I looked the other way, but Ben leaned over to observe closer. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅThis is recent, very recent,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Dangit, I thought it was going to work. Whatever then, next part coming up. The tree tops loomed up ahead, making the background even gloomier and increasingly frightening. The old oaks seemed to have a secret, difficult to explain, just a spur of the moment observation. The forest was not thick, but the griffon could no longer be seen, just guessing now. "It has . . . got to be . . . close," Thomas said under his harsh short breaths. The last of the corn ended and was quickly replaced by small shrubs and sturdy old trees. Thomas was forced to slow his pace as his field of vision was limited to a mere few feet in front of him. Using his sword to clear away some of the taller, path blocking trees and bushes he continued. The forest was full of unknown sounds; the ever constant cricket chirps were rather relaxing though. Eyes were peering at Thomas, some able to be seen in the dark. Nocturnal eyes, or those awakened by Thomas's summon quest. The curious animals never approached though, simply observed from their tree, bush, or hole. Thomas continued in the relative direction that the griffon was last seen flying. I wasn't sure what to look for, but Thomas must have known. He was almost constantly peering upward, into the canopies, stumbling over a rock or log a few times by doing so. Small cuts and slices now covered Thomas's body; it appeared that he had endured a fight when in fact he was still searching for one. A loud screech rang through the forest and all other sounds ceased immediately. Thomas looked in the direction of the screech and saw it. A griffon, or at least the shadow of one in the sky. "So I finally entered your territory," Thomas laughed. "I think you were expecting me though." He was talking to himself rather than the griffon, but raised his sword over head. Thomas continued carefully, eyes always to the sky and the shadow that passed every thirty seconds or so. "You can't let me get close to your nest, can you big guy?" Thomas whispered, obviously amused. The griffon screeched again, giving Thomas obvious warnings of its displeasure with his presence. Thomas took a few more steps. A strong breeze of wind blew leaves across the forest. The sound of the griffon making another pass over head could still be heard though. That's when Thomas spotted the nest. "Found it, any second now that griffon is goin . . ." but his words were cut short as two talons struck his back and rolled him across the ground. "Damn it!" Thomas yelled and quickly jumped to his feet, the studded leather under his robes took most of the blow, but it had hurt Thomas's pride as well, caught off guard. Thomas slowed his breathing, but no sound could be heard. Thomas could easily take the griffon down using a summon, but the creature must be killed by the power of a human. I'm not sure why, but that is just how the art works. Thomas looked around, turning circles, but the griffon was no where to be seen. "Where are you?" Thomas asked aloud. Thomas then turned and began running towards the nest. "You'll come out!" Thomas screamed as he began closing distance between himself and the large nest resting in a gigantic old oak tree. A quick gust of wind, then a screech, and Thomas dove to the ground. The griffon flew by with its claws slashing the area Thomas was standing moments before. Then the griffon finally turned to face him. Planting its razor sharp talons into the ground and stared down Thomas as if saying, "Leave my family alone." The beast was both ferocious and beautiful. The creature was about four feet high at the back, ten feet long. Dark brown feathers covering its entire body, except for the white feathers around the neck and head. Large green eyes that were glowing in the dark night pierced into ThomasÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s sturdy gaze. The griffon's wings were now folded to its sides. A proud creature, it held its head high, puffing out its chest; which was covered with white feathers as well. It reared up on two legs, swung its claws at Thomas and screeched as a final warning. It snapped its bird beak and took a step forward. Thomas was determined and unaffected by the warnings of his opponent. "I'm ready for you, bird!" Thomas yelled at the griffon and took a step forward as well, planting his feet to the ground, and gripping his sword and staff tightly. He waited a moment, then charged forward. The griffon was ready and jumped into the air, spread its great wings and soared over Thomas. Thomas tried to turn quickly and slid on the leaves coating the ground. He hit with a loud thud and a grunt. "It wanted me to do that," Thomas said and quickly flipped over on to his back. Thomas then raised his sword and staff in a cross over his chest as the griffon came slamming down. Both of his weapons were forced down upon his chest as the griffon made its crushing blow. Thomas struggled to get free, a talon holding down his sword and another holding down his staff. Thomas whipped his head to the side as the griffon's beak came pecking down again and again, relentless blows. Thomas was barely able to dodge some of them. Finally he let go of his staff and grabbed the beast's leg. With a hard tug it gave up its hold on the staff. Thomas quickly grabbed the staff once again and held it over his head with both hands, but his chest now open to a claw assault. The griffon bit down on the staff, it was made of a wooden shell and steel shaft in the center which prevented the beast from snapping it in two. Thomas thrust his staff upward and threw the griffon off balance; then pulled his staff from the beast's mouth and slammed the dragon head of the staff into the griffon's jaw. The griffon shook its head, trying to rid the pain. Thomas used this time to grab his sword. He rose and turned to finish the creature, instead finding it up on two legs again. The griffon loomed over head and Thomas jumped to the side as the beast attempted to crush him. The ground shook as the griffon's talons hit the ground and Thomas was disoriented shortly. The griffon turned and head butted Thomas a good fifteen feet before he could catch his feet caught the ground. His feet slid out from under him again but he caught himself before slamming to the forest floor. The beast charged forward and began making swipes towards ThomasÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s chest. Thomas blocked once, twice, three times; then was finally hit. The claws tore through both robe and armor and into Thomas's chest. He screamed and in a final attempt threw his sword at the griffon. The blade pierced through the griffon's chest and into its rib cage. Thomas clutched his own chest with his free hand as the griffon jumped away in pain. Thomas used his staff to help him rise to his feet, growing weary. The griffon, now twenty feet from Thomas, leaned down and used its beak to pull the sword from its body. A snap of its head and the sword was flying back at Thomas. The blade was almost invisible in the dark forest; Thomas did not know which way to dodge. So he fell backward on to the ground again. He just lay there for a while, breathing heavily; hand covered in blood. "I'm going to die . . ." He said in a harsh whisper. "I'm sorry dad, I though I could do it alone; I guess I was wrong. I just wasn't . . ." He let out a grunt and the griffon began to approach," . . . Wasn't strong enough, but I canÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t give up." "If I want to escape this with my life, I will have to summon a creature; I don't think I can in this condition tough," Thomas said to himself, rising wearily back to his feet. He coughed and spat blood on the ground. Thomas put his arms out to his sides, shaking. "I have to do it, Quetzalcoatl is my only choice. I am so weak though . . ." He closed his eyes but could hear the griffon walking carefully toward him. This was something I had never seen; I was clueless to how a summoner summoned a creature. He was in deep thought, searching his mind until he saw Quetzalcoatl. The great serpent-bird with wings spread wide, hovering in blackness. The creature then fell and hit a structureless ground, it began to glow neon blue; and finally disappeared. Thomas, his father, my father, and I killed Quetzalcoatl one year ago. Thomas's father wanted him to have a powerful summon. The legendary flying Serpent God, Quetzalcoatl, was hidden in a cave far away, the perfect summon. It took us weeks to find, and when we did it was the most intense fight of our lives. Thomas's father was paralyzed from the waist down; Thomas has a scar that will forever plague his right eye. My father was killed; I came out with a broken arm. We consider the summon our father's sacred guardian. He is a massive flying Serpent God of Thunder. Bright white scales covered the length of its body and angel-like white feathers covered its widespread wings. Its eyes were white as well, not blind, though it appeared so. All of its senses were magnificent, as was its power. The god had power surging throughout its power, released in light and electricity. Quetzalcoatl can blind opponents with light, stunning their senses for a long period of time. It can release bolts of energy, or a charged ball of energy. The mysteries of the creature are unknown to all. The presence of the beast fills you with hope and happiness; this aura can stop some creatures from even attacking. My father and I were forced to go blindfolded to fight Quetzalcoatl so we could keep our other senses. It is truly a creature like no other and more powerful than any other. Thomas snapped his eyes open and the spirit began to rise from the ground, the same neon blue. The almighty Quetzalcoatl, same one that killed my father. The griffon hesitated and finally stopped. QuetzalcoatlÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s spirit was fully out of the ground now, wingspan nearly seventy-five feet. Thomas brought his hands together, holding his staff tightly. "I call upon thee, Flying Serpent God of Thunder, Quetzalcoatl!" Thomas swung his staff through the spirit and fell into a trace on the ground. He was in control of Quetzalcoatl a few moments later, but vision was blurred and power was weak. The great god began to drain energy from within, forming a ball of energy at its mouth. Electricity sparking outward, illuminating the entire forest. The griffon looked on in fear as the energy ball grew in size. The ball shone a bright white color, brimming with power. Quetzalcoatl began lowering from its flight and back to the solid earth. With a last ounce of strength the blast of energy hurled at the griffon, leaving a trail of light where it flew. That is the last thing I could see, Thomas had passed out completely, and Quetzalcoatl along with him. I closed my eyes and reopened them. I saw Thomas sitting up against the tree. "So what happened Thomas?" I asked eagerly. He raised his robes to reveal a long string of bandages around his chest. "The griffon was barely alive when I awoke. Quetzalcoatl was as weak as I was when he attacked, but even at that weakness he packs a punch. I limped over to my sword, then over to the griffon which was battered and bloody. Then I put the creature out of its misery." "After I drew out its spirit I passed out again. When I reawakened this time it was night. I felt a bit better though. I summoned the griffon and flew back to the old couple's houses to tell them the news; they gave me some potion, that worked wonderfully, as a thanks. Next thing I know I'm back here talking to you what happened," he laughed. "That was an extreme fight Thomas, I knew you had won, but I was actually worried you would die while I saw it. . . So this griffon of yours must be a pretty powerful summon." I said, while Thomas walked back across the road and sat against the tree he was at before. "He is rather powerful; I am still not sure how I managed to summon Quetzalcoatl during the fight. I have trouble controlling and calling him at my full strength, but I was battle fatigued and injured and attacked with him. Possibly the adrenaline of the fight or knowing it was the only way I could escape death. I guess I will never know," he said scratching his head in confusion. "Maybe you were so determined to win for your father that you had a second wind of power," I said, trying to be encouraging. I was not sure myself, but I assumed that was the case. I rose to my feet, "So what are we waiting for? Summon this griffon and let's go get Shadow.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

There is still probably some stuff to work on in this, but as far as I'm concerned now it is done. It took a while to rework this thing. It didn't change as much as I thought it would but I still like it better. Fixed quite a few mistakes, but I know I must have missed quite a few as well. Hopefully I fixed more than I left. Anyway, I decided to make a new topic for this because the other one was far too big. It is much easier to read on a single post . . . if a single post can hold the whole thing, which i hope it can. If it can't then I will use as few as possible. Like always, enjoy, feedback appreciated. I know it is really freaking long but I think most of you will enjoy it. My next project will be the rewriting of my "Legend of the Dragon Sword" story from long ago. Prologue: I am here to tell you a story. A story that I endured, directly from my perspective, all the pain I felt, all the emotions I experienced. The thoughts are lodged so deeply in my mind I feel that I must get them out and into the open or I will burst. There are not many who can share in the hurt I feel, so maybe if more understand I will not feel as lonely. This is no ordinary tale however. There will never be another like it, or so I hope. The evil we faced was greater than any this world had ever seen, as far as I know that is. The sacrifices were great, but the reward was greater, I really believe we made a difference. We destroyed the beast and put an end to all of his plans, we saved everyone. Of course you have no idea what I speak of. I contemplated endless nights on how to begin the story, so I will just begin where the journey truly began for me, the night upon which I finally discovered what we were up against, the night my life changed forever. This was the night I attempted to end the life of my best friend, the night I first told my true love how I felt. It was also the same day they had buried my friend Sean in the graveyard, murdered. So with out further introduction I give you my tale. Chapter 1: A Threat Revealed "Fight me, Jamie, if you dare!" I screamed and drew my sword from its sheath. I pointed its shining mithral blade towards his chest, gripping the handle tightly. Sweat was trickling down my forehead and anger pulsed through my body. My heart was racing, adrenaline pumping. I was both excited and frightened as Jamie reached back and grasped his battle axe. "If you wish to fight me, then so be it! You are mistaken!" Jamie yelled, pulling his axe out in front of him. It was well crafted, made of steel, but was also used. Scratches and [racist term]s on the edges could be seen clearly, not a dull blade, quite the opposite really, but not at full potential. I looked down at my own shining blade, new and of a stronger metal, light and powerful. I had the advantage of speed, but Jamie is more physically powerful and than myself. I took a fighting stance, blade outward, my feet planted into the rough ground, leaves crunching beneath my leather boots. Jamie slowly lowered his axe to the ground. The thick forest allowed only small glimmering patches of light to shine through, barely bright enough to see clearly. It was a perfect battleground, mid-Autumn, on the outskirts of town. I was still breathing heavily and sweating, but I held my sword tight and charged forward. Anger surged through my veins, adrenaline levels still rising, giving me an unnatural strength. My own friend, enemy in a fight, no longer training together, but battling, possibly to the death. Time seemed to stand nearly motionless, like I was watching my own body heading towards Jamie, sword now swinging to the side to prepare for a blow. I can still remember when we were only children, pretending to be fighters, using branches as swords, training, growing stronger. Another step. Jamie, motionless for the moment, like waiting to endure the blow, as repent for his crimes. A mere ten feet away now, and approaching. Jamie, how could he, my friend, his friend. I tightened my grip on the blade, a gust of wind rushing past, blowing dead leaves across our forest set arena. Another step, less than nine feet. Regret, I could sense it, illuminating from Jamie, remorse, I tried to pay no attention as Jamie moved. His eyes were to the ground, staring with no attention to the outside world, deep thought, transitive. Another step. With a breath I began to swing my sword, now picturing myself, a branch in hand; Jamie with one as well, smiling, true happiness, so many years ago. Life was so simple, our biggest worries were what chores would be addressed to us as we returned home from a day of fun in the forest, the fields, the lakes, or where ever our imaginations could take us. Regret with every hour that passed for the sunlight was closer to its end for that day. These thoughts rushed my mind in a split second and were gone the next to be filled with another. A strong wind surged, and a clash of metal rang through out the forest as sword and axe met in a shower of sparks. Birds scatter from the trees in shock. I look at JamieÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s axe held tight in his hands, my sword against its blade. I struggled to push forward, but to no avail. Jamie, the stronger between us and was able to withhold. Surprisingly, no emotions could be seen within his eyes, blank, lifeless. I jumped away from Jamie, sword at a defensive position. He made no attempt to strike, only stare . . . I began to lower my sword, but denied my arms the privilege. Jamie on the other hand did lower his weapon. I was not one to be fooled though, and charged in for a second attack, sword high over head. Jamie pulled his axe to a defensive stance at the last possible moment, out of reflex it seemed more than his wanting to do so, and my sword struck the edge of his blade. Sparks flew once again and Jamie quickly leapt away from me. I jumped to the side and tried a quick attack. Jamie's axe was too heavy to fully resist the blow and he was knocked off balance and on to the forest floor. The sun was cast in shadow by the trees, darkness poured over Jamie's body, and my own. Leaves crunched beneath my feet and I walked towards him, sword pointed to the ground. I quickly lifted my blade to the sky and brought it down with a powerful swing towards my opponent's chest. Jamie grasped his axe tightly and pulled it in front of him. I hit the steel handle and strained as I tried to force his own axe down upon him. Unfortunately, Jamie is more powerful and easily threw off my attack. I drew my sword back and stared into his eyes. No fear or remorse anymore, you could feel his power just by looking into his eyes. I have an uncanny ability; to read eyes, know what a person feels. Eyes don't lie, you could see death in his pupils, and blood stains on his conscious. My own friend, Jamie, but after what he did, I wanted him dead. Only yesterday I had witnessed Jamie slaughtering his, and my, own friend Sean. I knew, but hadn't told Jamie, and now I wished to avenge Sean's death. Jamie, a killer, I never would have thought, or knew if my own eyes had not seen the massacre. I shook off the sickening feeling and swung down at Jamie once again. He rolled to the left and my sword struck the ground with a tremendous force, scattering the leaves as my sword dug into the dirt. I pulled my sword from the ground as Jamie regained footing and swung his axe, he didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t seem to be trying to hit me though. I still narrowly dodged the axe, then turned and tried my own attack. Jamie leapt back and brought up his weapon, the tip of my blade clashing with his. I lifted up my leg for a kick but Jamie released a hand from his axe and grabbed me around the ankle. With a powerful pull I was pulled off the ground and thrown on to my back, knocking the breath out of me. I brought up my other leg and gave Jamie a kick to the stomach, still a bit dizzy from the fall. Jamie coughed and nearly doubled over but reestablished himself and swung his axe down. It was the same predicament Jamie was in just moments ago, only now it was me on the ground and his axe forcing my sword down upon me. I saw an advantage and took it; I swept my foot to the side and tripped Jamie. He fell hard on his side and his axe landed next to me on the forest floor. I grabbed his weapon and rose to my feet. Jamie looked up at me, fear in his eyes, but I just stared back as he rose to his feet. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅI may be avenging Sean but this is still a fair fight,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Lol, that was funny. I read this one after I read assassin, saw it in ur sig. This one was well written, I like the assassin story more tho, just because more realism, that by no means suggests this one is worse. It is very entertaining and a fun read. Keep it up, I like your sytle. BTW, that is definately a short story. Short stories can be like 30 pages long... sometimes more. Steven King has an 83 page short story. Anyway, you guys are too lazy to read if you think that is long.

I have to say, that was a very well written story. I enjoyed it. You could feel the emotion and the regret that the actual person might experience, that is always the best kind of writing. One of the few modern stories on this forum and very well written. The battle of one's own conscience is often harder than one with another being I suppose. Anyway, I liked it.

Just as you get to the beach you will be killed by a massive tidal wave, along with all of your worldy possesions. I wish I could fly...

B) Mage

Wow, I actually never thought of changing that, but now that someone said somethign it sounds like it would help a ton. I will change that right away, not giving away the enemy will really help to build the suspence and the end of the first chapter felt rushed, i bet that will help a bunch. Thx a lot dude (You see, this is why people need to make comments on stories, lol)

I didn't really add anything to this but I did change a ton of grammatical errors, here ya go. Chapter 3: Gathering the Team I approached Thomas's house only a few minutes later. I walked up to the front door and knocked, I waited a few moments, no answer. "He must be out training," I said out loud. Fortunately, I know his favorite training spot. Thomas lived in town, but was still rather close to the boarders. I walked about a half mile and found the eastern gates of town. Large stone walls surround most of the town, all but the south eastern area I reside in, the slope is too steep for invasion. The gates are all well protected, and there is a guard about every one hundred yards down the wall on constant watch of attack. The guards all know me and opened the large metal gates. Thomas's favorite training area is a cave just outside of town. We found it one day, long ago. Sometimes went there to see the bats. That was Thomas's first summon, a bat. I guess he feels attached to the place now. I could here the sounds of his creature as soon as I got out of the town. It sounded like Quetzalcoatl, Thomas still can't contain that summon very well, so he trains with him all the time. I broke away from the road and entered the forest. Trees were not especially dense here, but you could not see the cave from the road. I heard a great screech, followed by a rumble and picked up my pace a bit. Thomas has been known to hurt himself when training, not intentionally, but he does. Everyone tells him he's going to kill himself with those summons in a cave, but he doesn't care. I approached the entrance and saw Thomas lying on the ground, breathing heavily. "Thomas, you okay?" I asked stepping into the damp cave. It was nice and cool in the cave, so it does make it a good training spot. Drinkable water resided in pools in various places. We have never gone too deep in the cave, for fear of getting lost. "Steven," Thomas said, then took another deep breath, "what are you doing here?" He rose to his hands and knees and I helped him the rest of the way up. His hair was matted down with sweat, he looked very tired. He almost fell when I released him and had to grab him by the shoulders. "Sorry, I tried to maintain Quetzalcoatl . . . I couldn't though. "You will get it one day Thomas, just keep training like you do," I told him. He was still breathing heavily but slowly getting back to a normal rate. "On the other hand, we have a new mission." "About time, the palace hasn't had anything new for us in over two months," Thomas said laughing. He turned his attention to a frog hopping across the cave. Thomas followed the frog with his eyes until it hopped into a pool of water at the other end of the cave. "So what does the king have in mind?" "Well apparently there is a corrupted clan." "Another one, easy," Thomas interrupted. "Actually this will be our toughest mission yet, Thomas, do not take this clan lightly. Jamie tells me they have creatures called Shadow Dragons that are very powerful. "I filled him in on all the details of the Shadow Dragon clan, and the vision I had had. "So these shadow dragons are ten times as powerful as Jamie, which is pretty darn strong. I still don't see how you can make a free willed summon. From what I understand necromancers use remains of a creature to reanimate it under their power. More advanced necromancers can only hold a few creatures at a time. Now you are telling me this Hyrocyte guy has created four hundred free willed summons. He would have to find a corpse to reanimate one too, and I have never heard of such a creature," Thomas said, obviously baffled and disbelieving. "You know more about this than myself, and to me it seems farfetched. His staff consisted of three essences," I said I looked dead into ThomasÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s eyes, for they grew with an even greater disbelief, "I couldn't believe it when I saw it." Three! That is such an intense power. No mortal being could have any control with three essences!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Pretty good for a first timer, I liked it. I'm glad achimage made that comment about the video tape, that took it out of the Runescape feeling. Seems like you have a plot set up that could take you quite a ways. I will be sure to read your next installment.