Fullmetal wars start pg 3 Fin! Gonna write something else...

[archimage_a]

Errr I'll be honest.

 

I didn't like the premise.

 

I didn't really like the story, but it could have been worse.

 

I liked the Characters, but they coukd have been improved a bit.

 

The ending was good for what the story allowed.

 

I don't like the term Stargate so that probably biased me a little bit....overall?

 

 

 

47/60(thats just a rough guess, but I thought it was better than a half good story, and just a bit better than an ok story.)

 

Sorry :oops:

[Xewleer]

everyone is allowed their opinions, and quite frankly, I can't quit now, this Sunday I'll post the first chapters of the Fullmetal wars.

[Xewleer]

THE FULLMETAL WARS

 

 

 

 

 

This is the beginning of the Fullmetal wars. My name is Arkad Darrel, historian novelist extraordinare. And this is the introduction to my major work, The Fullmetal wars, one of the strangest periods in our human history. The Fullmetal wars were marked by: one, geeks who never had any grasp on reality, two, a governement trying to regain control from afore said geeks, and three, various side characters who literally fought for both sides with equal fervor.

 

 

 

This aside, I am sure it was an interesting time to live in. In my taste, one of the most interesting soldiers were the Ghosts, of these I must make special mention. Ghosts were geeks who became disenfranchised with what the others wanted. The original Ghosts stole cloaking technology and killed the geek who invented it. They then developed special weapons that would augment their power, like the cannister rifle. Infiltrating almost every echelon of the military, they attempted to save as many people as possible in the Geek Alliance and the U.S. armies and citizens. They fought and died to ensure the least amount of casualties. The Coalition of athletes and the Gangstas were not under their protection.

 

 

 

The world has changed, of course, in the hundred twenty-odd years since then, and I have taken it upon myself to hack into old computer email accounts, read history books and talk to the descendants and such, not to mention do some time traveling, to bring only the best in hostorical novels. Whether you believe it as fact or fiction is up to the reader of my book, what I have written is about 90% fact 10% romantic fiction.

 

 

 

I have said enough, sit back and enjoy, The Fullmetal Wars!

[archimage_a]

Hmmm I seem to want to start every post with 'Errr'...

 

Anyway it was a bit of a...different opening. Of course the problem with writing it from the first person is that certain points of the story should not make sense. Of course they do, but when you consider the story as a whole it should not, because a Historian will invent things, things that didn't happen, that probably happened, or that did happen but didn't have the impact they should of.

 

 

 

But besides that it seems an unlikely premise(Again) the Geek Alliance, seems to be more cheesy 1980 game side, on of those games that you just thought"....Er no." When you read it on the back cover of the game...because you wouldn't read the manual of course.

 

Besides that it seems very unrealistic, Geeks are usually not that interested in changing the world, if they were then the world would get no where because the internet would probably crash. So it seems highly unlikely. Moreover Geeks are not normally the ones to put on a suit of armor and go on a killing spree.

 

 

 

The Government is also built on the ideal of Status Quo. If you destroy the Status Quo then the Government collapses. In the same way a house would collapse if you took away its supports. A house is very powerful, when it is supported, otherwise it will be destroyed. I don't know what you are going to do exactly, but if it is going to be one of those, 'The world is in Turmoil and we are going to somehow bring it back from the edge' then I would recommend a rethink. Primarly because the world isn't like that, if it went into Turmoil, the Government collapses because there is no money, without money the Economy crashes. Without the Economy the world is forced to rely on a Communist system, in small communities. In other words a tribal community. With the world shattered in this way, there would be no way for anyone to gain control, without fear and force, or food and money.

 

 

 

So brings us to the next point. To gain control, control must be given. The problem with Tribal communities, is that no one wants to ally with anyone else, because it means sharing their food. The ones that want to ally, want to because they have nothing. So therefore it requires great resources, or a great fear to force people to ally together. The fear of a massive robot, or even an army of massive robots cannot work because the massive robots will easierly crush the people, so there is no point in rallying together, making yourself a bigger target.

 

 

 

On the point of the Ghosts.(You mispelt Original by the way) It seems possible, if highly unlikely that there would be a bunch of people who would want to save lives. However that would be in a large scale terror ridden world. In a smaller Community based world it would seem that this band would be an unlikely candidate for realisation. Namely because you have people running about in suits of armor killing each other, there is no real way to stop people killing each other in a socity of kill or be killed. On the otherhand it would be possible for some people to be preaching the ideals of 'Can't we all just get along?' However to stop someone killing you need alot more than just ideals.

 

 

 

You also mention other Coalitions, it seems highly unlikely that a coalition of Athletes would be formed in a time of dire need, and Gangstas are clan based by defintion, they are not going to form a coalition when there is a chance of making a huge profiet. Also if you are indicating that they are in some sort of Uniform then you have pretty much got a strange idea of what this would would be made out of. They may have armor suits, but then they would cease to be what they were, they would be part of the Government, or part of the Geeks(and thats in your world). In a more realistic world, people will band together out of need, not out of choice. If you had a choice of banding together with other writers, or with the people that live near you, and can defend you and help you, you are gonna side with the people near you.

 

 

 

There is also the idea of protection. As mentioned earlier that would imply some sort of uniform. By only protecting certain people, you are leaving people open to the cross-fire. It is hardly efficent either:

 

Imagine that there is a fight breaking out. Its between the Gangstas, the Athletes and the Chess champions. You have to make a split second decision to help someone, but wait what if they are one of the people not protected by the Ghosts. Ummmm Errr oh wait they were a Chess Champion, but now they are dead...

[Xewleer]

The reason why geeks haven't changed the world is because no one has made them mad enough to. Geeks rule the world. If all the geeks removed their support, the world would have a serious crises, why? Because the majority of engineers in all engineering fields are geeks. Engineers are essential to what we have in our modern lives. No geeks, major shortage of engineers, major shortage of engineers, fewer inventions and improvements to what we have, and what we have runs downs for want of engineers to continue developing production methods. Economy of our modern world runs on engineering skills.

 

 

 

Not every person can be an engineer, no matter how smart you are.

 

 

 

Anyway...

 

 

 

I've only written the introduction, wait for the rest of it, I'm sure it will make more sense as I explain the plot. Besides, this will be a century after the events in Runescape, Above and Beyond. Many things will be explained in the next two stories. The Fullmetal wars are at 2112 (A.D.)

 

 

 

Now... one last thing... I do not have speel chek on my new computer, so you must forgive my speelling mistakes.

 

 

 

I'll post the first chapter soon, but first, I noticed some stuff in the introduction

[archimage_a]

Its your story of course. I can only advise you. You clearly know what you are talking about because you clearly know what the story is about. I can only give my opinion and if the Government has not lost control, then its logical it would not need to regain control...

[Xewleer]

I thank you for your advice, but sometimes I feel ill-advised listening to you. I don't know why, just a inward spirit thing that manifests itself.

 

 

 

BTW, Government did not lose their grip, rather, it shifted position to get a better one. The fifth story will deal with the government.

[archimage_a]

You feel ill-advised listening to me because I am the voice of Purity

 

*Angels in the background*

 

 

 

Anyway the main reason you probably feel ill-advised is because I am talking from my mind, not from my brain. I am not biased towards a specific ideal and so I can see the whole picture. When I cannot see the whole picture, then my advice is usually relying on only a small aspect of the whole picture. As they say an Arm does not look like A Human....

 

 

 

On the other hand I am the contradiction of Jesus Christ and that probably doesn't sit right with your belief system either....However I am sounding really preachy, and this is gonna clog up your thread so I would recommend PM if you want to continue this.

[Xewleer]

No, Archimage, I don't think I want to continue this...

 

Back to the story on hand

 

--------------------

 

Swirling dust flew every which way in the Painted Desert. Where this takes place exactly does not matter. One small person leaned against the rock wall at his back, allowing the shade to cool his armor.

 

 

 

New Character: Fullmetal 0029 "Ravenhunter" Transformer class, subclass: Longrange. Age: 117

 

 

 

A Shawnee heavy assault Helicopter burst over the wall's precipice, shooting the place where Ravenhunter was sitting. Transforming into an anti-air assualt vehicle Ravenhunter attempted to shoot the helicopter down. The Shawnee hovered directly above it, but both of them could not hit the other. Ravenhunter transformed back into a human and dived into a cave, shooting missles from his half transformed arms. The Shawnee, undaunted, fired multiple missles into the cave, destroying it and ensuring that the Fullmetal was destroyed or forever trapped.

 

 

 

A metal head floated, and wires moved of its accord. A klaxon sounded and heads turned to look at the metallic effigy. "A fullmetal's signal has been lost, dead or trapped. 142 Fullmetals left, 390 Partmetals still functioning."

[Xewleer]

In Runescape, the only living being was Cheshka. Cheshka was stuck in one position, in front of the place where his friend and family had been destroyed. Watching the flames that must represent their immaterial bodies float was okay for the first 25 odd years. Then, at the 55th year, they all disappeared, completely without warning or apparent reason. 45 years later a light appeared.

 

 

 

"I am L, if you would be so kind, please come through the portal. I have a new body, and new purpose, waiting for you."

 

 

 

Cheshka, having nothing else to do, not to mention bored, went through the light. He felt himself traveling at immense speeds, then a sudden and surprising halt. Then he felt an incredible euphoria, so this was what a body was like...

 

 

 

"I am L, and you, I hope, are Hylean, if not, you know him because you have a very similar "soul taste" to him. I have created your mechanical body for the sole purpose of trying to destroy the thing that caused you to be stuck in your previous state. This body does not have any nanotech in it and cannnot repair itself. But I have provided an infinite power and ammo source, provided you have some kind of oxygen atom in your enviroment."

 

 

 

Cheshka looked around, seeking where the voice came from, then discovered a dust covered computer.

 

 

 

"The reason why I have waited so long to contact you is because I couldn not discover the Program's location. I have it now, when you destroy the Program completely, you will be able to live however you want. Go to the town described on your navigation systems. I am sure you will figure out how to operate your body, Allmetal."

 

 

 

Cheshka felt some twinge in the back of his head and a map popped infront of his eyes. Irony quickly set in... why, by all that is good and unholy, was the location his hometown.

[archimage_a]

I don't appreciate snide remarks...

 

But anyway back to the matter at hand.

 

Your structure is confusing and perhaps having more than 1 story on a post, that although might be based in the same reality actually have nothing in common. It might be one of the reasons that I find your stories so incredibly difficult to read. Not to stay interested, because when I read the indiviual parts they are good, they make sense if they are not applied to anything else, but when trying to read the whole thing I am annoyed to find that there is a random section from another story halfway down the page. So when there is something, like the last post you made, that may or may not be story related it is difficult to work out excatly what you are refering to.

 

 

 

But perhaps you could tell me why exactly you are so hostile towards me?

[Xewleer]

One of the reason's I don't like you is because 1: we are both stubborn and not likely to budge much in our beliefs 2: you don't listen to reason (remember our discussion on your biodomes in case of nuke attack? I still say they won't be able to go for as long as you say they would, Entropy of materials and knowledge are my reasons) 3: you are a socialist/communist (whatever you want to call it) and thus have a faulty view point when I look at what you say.

 

 

 

I respect you enough as an intellectual, but I do not like the fact that you try to impose your style on my story. I write this here, I'll take a look at it and I might edit it. The story Runescape above... is the first, Fullmetal Wars is the direct sequel (rules state sequels must be in the same forum topic) The Children's Wars are a prequel to the Fullmetal Wars. And the other two will be after the Fullmetal Wars.

[archimage_a]

Yes I agree with the first point, however this is not about that.

 

Yes I agree with the second point, however it was an idea in the bases of forming, it needed time to germinate.

 

Yes I agree with the third point, however I have a DIFFERENT view point, not a faulty one. Any more than you have a faulty view point for being christian.

 

 

 

I am not trying to impose my style on your story. If I were then I would rewrite your story. I apologise if you have felt that I have tried to impose my will on you, but in the same way you did ask for Comments and Critisism(SP).

 

 

 

I believe that saying "that it seems an unlikely premise" is a critisism.

 

I believe that saying "The Government is also built on the ideal of Status Quo" is a fact. By saying "I don't know what you are going to do exactly" it means that I don't THINK the story is going in a good direction. It is a Critisism.

 

I believe that saying "Of course the problem with writing it from the first person" is an opinion, and I am trying to advice you. I am not trying to tell you what to do, I am suggesting that this might not be the best course of action. Trying to provoke thought, and maybe changing the style slightly to a more....for want of a better word...normal format. As I said a Historian wasn't there, they have to guess at the story. For instance you can't say "He was thinking" because you don't know that, or at least the historian doesn't know that.

 

 

 

The rest of the post was based on the ASSUMTIONS I had made based on the storyline presented thus far. I was COMMENTING on the FACT(in my mind) that it was unlikely to pan out in this way.

 

 

 

 

 

On the other point of it being highly confusing, I am not saying that its wrong to have 5 stories on the same thread...but by defination Prequels and Sequals are written after the story. You can write either beforehand or at the same time but when you are posting them at the same time...

 

It would be like watching the 6 Star Wars movies at the same time. You simply wouldn't know where certain things fitted in with the other storylines, or that they were even connected at all.

 

 

 

To be honest though there is absoultely nothing in my mind that allows a hostile behavouir such as yours. Yes I am stubbon. Yes I am annoying. Yes I probably really wind you up. I ACCEPT that. I ACCEPT that there are people out there that really really annoy me. I ACCEPT they can do that if they want to. I am a LIBERALIST. If you WANT to do something then do it. I am NOT going to DEMAND you give the same freedom to me. I am going to ASK that you give the same freedom to me. You have LISTED your points about why you don't like ME. I have LISTED the points about why I don't like aspects of your STORY. I have not PERSONALLY attacked you. If you wanted to be helpful, and get out some frustration then you could have easierly done it by reading MY STORY, and POINTING OUT the failings. There are bits I could do better. I ACCEPT that. I am simply POINTING OUT where, in my mind, YOU could do better. I have TRIED to be HELPFUL. I have NOT lied to you. Telling you that, in my mind, your STORY was great. I have been CONSTRUCTIVE where possible.

 

If you do not want me to be CONSTRUCTIVE in the future then I would appreciate you TELLING me that you would PREFER it if I did not read YOUR STORIES.

 

 

 

I would like to point out that at no point I have used the word MUST. Simply PREFER.

 

If you want to "write this here, I'll take a look at it and I might edit it" then I would PREFER it if you wrote it out. Looked at it. Edited it. At home because this IS a FORUM where people CAN voice their OPINIONS about OTHER PEOPLES STORIES. By defination a FORUM is somewhere that you PRESENT IDEAS to a BODY of OTHER PEOPLE. You are PRESENTING the IDEA that there is a FICTIONAL REALITY where your STORY happens. I am COMMENTING on that IDEA, because I CAN, and because I WISH to. As I said, if you would PREFER me NOT to then say.

[Xewleer]

okay... I understand now... And I'm sorry. But comments and corrections (Thats what I thought C/C) meant something much more constructive than your opinions on world systems. My realities that I create are my playground, I spend more time in them than reality. They are my escape from my own problems. And my biggest problem is a massive intellect and a lot of boredom, I write and imagine so I don't do anything that would cause problems for other.

 

 

 

Christianity, I believe, is one of the antithesis to Socialism anyway.

 

 

 

Anyway... ehem... I think it best for the readers continuation of my story, any comments of this length, please pm me.

 

 

 

C/C (comments/corrections) are welcome! just please, do not add your personal philosophy on how the world works in reality.

[Xewleer]

Four of the most dangerous Fullmetals are making their abode in an abondoned house. Suddenly, they are disturbed by Shawnee Heavy Assault helicopters.

 

 

 

New Characters (4):

 

 

 

Fullmetal 0134 "Vintage" Class: magician subclass, healer Age:115 (female)

 

 

 

Fullmetal 0135 "Flamer" Class: magician subclass, fire-maker Age: 120 (Companion of Blizzeta)

 

 

 

Fullmetal 0136 "Blizzeta" Class: magician subclass, Ice/temperature controller Age 120 (Companion of Flamer)

 

 

 

Fullmetal 0137 "Lightny" Class: magician subclass, lightning (original) Age 119*

 

 

 

*Author's note: The class and subclass of each fullmetal are dependant on their personality and previous wants and desires. I.e. Vintage is a pacifist whereas Lightny has massive offensive with little defense, and has ADHD. "Magician" deal with elements, subclass is the type of element/ability.

 

 

 

Flamer saw them first, and almost decided to take them out himself but he knew he could not take them out without Lightny. So he called all four of them, with Vintage watching from the backyard, waiting for them to destroy the Shawnees. Blizzeta began working her powers, instantly sucking all moisture to herself, allowing Flamer to work without fear of humidity lessening his powers. Flamer launched himself from the house they were staying at and "flamed" creating a rolling Fireball, taking down the nearest craft almost as fast as Lightny took out the one next to him.

 

 

 

Blizzeta was not done, and she grabbed a bit of flaking tar paper and formed ice around it, turning it into an artillery piece. Picking more tarpaper, she loaded it into a slot and aimed it at the advancing helicopters. "Fire!... I mean 'ICE!!!'." and fired towards the enemy.

 

 

 

The Shawnees had recovered from their momentary shock and were firing at the two who were jumping around, attempting to kill thte pilots by electrocution or melted glass, respectively. The Shawnees spun around, then divided into two groups, firing missles at them wildly, tracking the Fullmetals' 'soul taste' to home in on them. Flamer merely melted them using a technique called Din's fire, in which, for him, time seemed to slow, but he was merely going superfast, and a dome of fire appeared and all the missles exploded, shockwaves affecting the Shawnees rather than himself. Lightny, in contrast, dodged them all, until the missiles formed a rough sphere, he then shot one of them with lightning, causing them all to blow up, himself sent flying. Vintage ran as fast as she could and got to him, quickly healing all damages he had sustained and ran back. About this time, the first Ice artillery shots fell among the Shawnees, destroying several.

 

 

 

All the Shawnees were eventually destroyed, and not one of the Fullmetals seriously hurt. Vintage was healing a small, but deep, cut on Flamer's chest, just below where his lung once was.

 

 

 

"We still won, but they were better than last time..." Blizzeta was looking out to the horizon, hoping for nothing to appear, and was glad not to see anything.

 

 

 

Flamer grunted slightly as Vintage finally removed a splinter, which was a very long piece of bone. "I don't think we can move around anymore. You know The Finder will discover our location, no matter where it is. Darnit! That hurts!"

 

 

 

Vintage trembled a bit but continued to do her job. "It would be better if you don't talk, which you are lucky to be able to do anyway! I agree, we can fight them off as long as I can hea; and energize you all."

 

 

 

Lightning thought through the issue quickly. "You know the government doesn't hurt quiet Fullmetals."

 

 

 

Flamer shook his head. "We'd have to give up Vintage and our humanity. And quite frankly, we can't give her up. Nor can we give up our abilities."

 

 

 

Blizzeta nodded, and put her hand on his forehead. Then she suddenly froze the arms and head as Vintage pulled the last bit of scrapnel from the hole, then put her hand on it and closed the wound. "Thanks, he wriggles a lot when I do this."

 

 

 

Blizzeta removed all moisture from Flamer's ice block, shattering it. Flamer was not pleased when he reactivated. "Darnit! Warn me next time!"

 

 

 

"Sorry, love, but you would have heated up a bit."

 

 

 

"I always heat up around you."

 

 

 

"Giggle, old joke love..."

 

 

 

"I know."

 

 

 

"We'll have to talk about what we have to do tonight. It will be a hard choice, easy or otherwise."

 

 

 

Vintage left quickly, Lightny watched her. "Why'd you have to say that infront of her? That was the equivalent of saying, 'we might dismantle you.' because of her healing powers, she is the most dangerous one among us to humans."

 

 

 

Flamer looked at him. "Who says we can't hide her? Let her go on that journey, disassemble her long enough to make it seem like she is gone... something, just not permanent. Whatever our decision may be, honor it enough, for we outrank you."

 

 

 

Vintage, however, heard none of this, and was in turmoil, what should she do? Her friends are trying to figure out what to do with her, for their safety as with her own. She sobbed quietly, she knew she was dangerous to humans, but only when she wanted to be, she could do good beyond killing humans by overhealing them. She tried to realize that she was a metal machine, and could be reassembled with ease, but she just couldn't believe it.

[Xewleer]

Vintage slowly walked along a street in the nearby town. She couldn't have believed her ears, they were thinking about surrendering and returning to normal bodies, weak and helpless, especially to her. Finally, she sat down on a bench, watching people walk by a puddle, not even appearing to notice her. Then she saw a person who walked differently from most of the other pedestrians. Namely, he seemed out of sorts, and he was a metal, full or all. She, however, decided to follow him, rather than confront him.

 

 

 

He went into a restaurant and ordered a coke, of all things for a metal to order, food was not one of them. Two robbers burst into the shop, waving guns around. She was about to intervene when the robbers pointed a gun at the head of the attendant. She could not intervene until they had the money, which they got. She got up but the person she followed stood.

 

 

 

"You boys don't look very law-abiding to me. Give the money back like good citizens."

 

 

 

The robbers, without hesitation, shot him full of holes. The character looked a little taken aback, but that was from the force of the guns, not any damage in particular.

 

 

 

"I was hoping that it wouldn't come down to that kind of violence... when I kill people in this world, they stay dead, mostly."

 

 

 

He then flipped his wrists and two swords of an indistinguishable type flashed out and he put his body into a battle stance. He flickered and disappeared to reappear behind them. "I hate those who hurt me, I normally have my revenge in true combat, but this will do." And he stabbed them both expertly, killing them instantly.

 

 

 

Vintage was at a loss for words, she ran up to him and knocked him down.

 

 

 

"What? you too! Huh, I don't like fighting girls who don't have weapons, but still, you probably have a special ability though. Well, bring it!"

 

 

 

"No! I don't want to fight! You can't just kill people, your giving metals a very bad name!"

 

 

 

"I'm beyond caring, when your alone for a hundred years, you lose some things, like the ability to care anymore. I have a mission, to destroy all physical things that are a part of the Program! Then, I will be allowed to live in any way I should choose, if at all. I don't care about anyone except me. All those I could care about are dead and gone."

 

 

 

"Were those wars really so terrible?"

 

 

 

"The Children's Wars? No, I'm from Runescape!"

 

 

 

An All-metal! Most likely from the Government, she must destroy him!

 

 

 

She gathered energy about her and focused it on his body. No all-metal had ever survived the destructive life energies, nanite or mecha! She started to smile, he was just standing there, not even attempting to resist. Then she stopped smiling, nothing was happening, his nanites weren't dying, the soul was not departing in any way. As the ultimate anti-metal weapon, she was very surprised at this event.

 

 

 

"I've had my nanites checked out, they resist everything except forceful blows, like bullets. Your abilities, witch, mean nothing to me."

 

 

 

He charged her and kicked her through the picture window. She got up, and extended her powers into the trees, reversing the flow of the tree to maximum growth, then death. The trees exploded, focusing the fragments toward the figure standing in the doorway. He didn't move anything but his swords, which were invisible as they deflected every particle sent towards him. He did not stop, and cut suddenly appeared all over the area he was standing in.

 

 

 

"Its called Flash sword, one of many special attacks I have. Prepare to die!"

 

 

 

"Don't worry Vintage, were here for you!" Flamer, Blizzeta and Lightny ran over and arrayed themselves in front of her. Flamer taking the initiative talking as he ran towards him, gathering power in his hands. "We are called "The Elemental Quadruple" in the government reports, Life, raw energy, controlled energy, and temperature. Vintage, Flamer, Lightny and Blizzeta! What are you called?"

 

 

 

"I was once called Cheshka."

[Xewleer]

Figures dotted a hill, and on that hill was a cemetery, and those figures had come to pay their respects. Eleven people who did not exist, ghosts to everyone but themselves. Ghosts to protect those who had no busy or cause to be killed in whatever war the Geeks and Government decided to have.

 

 

 

One finally spoke. "Our first ghost said once, 'Momento Mori, remember, you will die' how true."

 

 

 

Another joined him. "Carpe diem? seize the day?"

 

 

 

A third, laughing, joined the two. "Caveat Emptor! Buyer Beware! now lets stop looking at old bones... they give me the creeps."

 

 

 

The first looked at her. "Bones? Giving a ghost the creeps? I thought you a bit tougher than that..."

 

 

 

"Hardly bones, more like spirits, REAL ghosts!"

 

 

 

The second shrugged, then donned his helmet. "Carpe diem! Indeed, habeas corpus! I think that means produce a body or something..."

 

 

 

A fourth and final figure jumped off the tombstone he was sitting on. "Enough Latin! Lets get on with it... the wars coming, our business is to save the living, not the dead."

 

 

 

The figures all disappeared, and a gate open and shut, when there was no one there.

[archimage_a]

The kind of readers that are slient because they get someone snap at them when they review a story...

 

Also on the threat of sounding impertinant....You wrote 'why kind of readers'

 

 

 

Besides I am reading it....I just don't comment...

[Xewleer]

Yeah... sorry about that, I feel the ability to misuse the internet greater than most, and its anonymity helps a lot with that kind of thing...

 

 

 

Chapter up tomorrow, fans! If you enjoy the story or have a concise constructive criticism (beyond:that could never happen or this is a philosophical debate) is accepted,

 

 

 

BTW if anyone ever does not like it, please tell me why, I can change, really!

[Xewleer]

Cheshka had long since put to flight those who had opposed him. They had been a surprise, those he had fought before where not as impassioned about each other. Long dormant feelings, feelings that had torn him apart when the souls of his friends and teacher had disappeared. Attack Helicopters, Shawnee class, appeared next to him. The feelings dissipated, but the Shawnees did not attack, but three figures emerged and arrayed themselves in front of him.

 

 

 

"We are Yuicchi, Makoto and Nayuki! Son of a gun! You have forced the government to take action and that forced us to take action! Darn you!" The middle character, who had been speaking, charged, wielding a katana. Cheshka, though surprised, easily blocked.

 

 

 

Makoto and Yuicchi charged also, as Nayuki back flipped over the others, Cheshka brought out his other sword and parried both at the same time. The two grimaced and began the attack. "Lion hunting!" The duo slashed high, low, vertically and horizontally in tandem, forcing Cheshka to defend against two differing slashes or thrusts at once.

 

 

 

Nayuki jumped behind them. "You think that just because you are a metal you can just kill and injure people as you will!" She began to attack as well. "Triforce assault! You make people fear us, who work to have it that we can live peaceful lives!" Cheshka had begun whirling like a dervish, hard pressed to block or even attack. Cheshka, eventually, slowed a little, discovering a pattern in their attacks.

 

 

 

"Hmph! Be lucky I can't sense the Program inside you, otherwise, I'd have destroyed you all like I did that base of the Geeks." He spun reverse, slashing at their weapons, driving them back. "I prefer to kill only those who hurt me or who have the taint of the Program! I've hurt enough to know when it turns into an obsession to destroy any who wrong me! Die ingloriously!" He began to assault all three at once, driving them back outside of their tandem assaults. He jumped at Makoto, throwing a sword at her and almost cutting her neck apart, circuitry fell out of the wound and she collapsed. The remaining two redoubled their assaults.

 

 

 

"Lightning Helices!" Another sword appeared in his hand, then both transformed into two giant chakrams. "What you wield doesn't matter, we'll still destroy you!" Nayuki and Yuicchi charged him, swords about to slash. Electricity flowed into the chakrams and Cheshka threw them with great accuracy into his charging foes, shorting them out. Bodies jerked uncontrollably.

 

 

 

"L was right, he had said that no one could stop me, all those clues and training he gave me to unleash my full... potential... but will it pay off when I fight the Program? Why are you still here!?!" The helicopters shuddered and moved off, leaving the bodies.

 

 

 

He walked off, wandering to the next placed marked as a hideout for the Program.

[Xewleer]

In a skyscraper in New York...

 

 

 

"We'll make you talk... not even a powerfully minded Geek like you can stand up to this probing."

 

 

 

The subject was a geek, proven by a face covered in technology, he was in the beginning stages of being a Zealot, the leaders of the Geek military. He looked at them wordlessly, they couldn't pick up his thought waves, he wasn't developed enough.

 

 

 

"We'll extract that info some way or another... We'll crank it up a notch. Ready? Start it up!"

 

 

 

The subject writhed in extreme pain, but soon, it dissipated, and he recalled his true purpose and abilities. Spitting out that which prevented his talking, he spoke in a very sardonic tone.

 

 

 

"I see you pansies haven't changed your methods... too predictable, no matter. I've sent a beacon to my friends, they will be here momentarily."

 

 

 

A soldier ran up and reported to the leader. "Sir, to of our Shawnee Helicopters just got up and blew up the others... We need to move the subject away from the outside... argh!"

 

 

 

The subject, one Shinka, by self acclamation, had got up and produced a grenade from his nether regions. Pulling out the pin, he jumped behind the now overturned table. He then jumped out into the open air and fell. A Shawnee Helicopter rose up and Shinka was standing on the rail.

 

 

 

"Ha ha! Suckers! We now have complete access thanks to the bug you tried to plant in me! All your data are belong to us!"

 

 

 

And with that last taunt, he was away. He had to get back to the main base, as 'Emperor Geek' he had a great responsibility in the Geek confederacy, or whatever they called it, namely, keeping it together.

 

 

 

---------------

 

 

 

Cheshka finally made it to his destination and was greeted by a rather happy female of indistinguishable age.

 

 

 

"Greetings sir <3! I hope your journey was pleasant?"

 

 

 

"It wasn't. And stop the act. I know you are a part of the Program. I know because all incarnations of the Program look ageless, whether attractive or not, I sense you can't age."

 

 

 

The female Program suddenly changed tone. "Lets talk, inside... then you can destroy me with cause."

 

 

 

Cheshka did not want to cause a scene, so he followed her. No doubt you realize that I am a deparate portion of the Program..."

 

 

 

"I do not distinguish."

 

 

 

"Well, I want to tell you about a more powerful Program and just as bad. he resides under Cheyenne mountain, in a government facility. Please destroy it! You can destroy me now..."

 

 

 

Cheshka did so with a certain relish. But this tip could not be ignored... sighing, he crosschecked L's locater with his new information, a piece of the Program was at least skulking around there, he had better destroy that too.

 

 

 

He arrived much sooner than expect thanks to a passing train. For some odd reason he was beginning to feel very lonely. Lonely like he had so long ago before he had met Hylean. He sat down and rested his mind. He felt tired of fighting, even felt like giving up... then he felt himself dying. He got up with a shock! L had set the nanites to respond to his feelings! he cursed L under his breath. No rest would ever some to him while anything physical of the Program remained. All the more reason to get it over with.

 

 

 

----------

 

 

 

The Program outside the mountain was destroyed easily.

 

 

 

Suddenly, an outside influence contacted his mind.

 

 

 

"Greetings, uncle Cheshka, I want you to meet me."

[Xewleer]

Cheshka looked about him in awe, the soldiers didn't even care that he had walk right in the door. A man in military attire led along to the elevator and pushed some buttons, sending them into the bowls of the facility.

 

 

 

"Thank you, that will be all. Do not disturb me for 18 hours after he leaves. Thank you."

 

 

 

Cheshka hesitantly walked toward the voice, which came from nearby a computer. Normally he would be gung-[garden tool] and just start killing, and that was what his heart was telling him to do. But his mind said to wait, and see what would happen, and react accordingly.

 

 

 

"I recognize you Cheshka, you haven't changed at all, I envy you."

 

 

 

"Do I know you?"

 

 

 

"For nigh on a year, and then you gazed at mine and my parents souls, stuck in one single spot, for about fifty years. Start to ring bells?"

 

 

 

"Growing Night?! But how?!?"

 

 

 

"The government, needing an answer to their problems with Fullmetals, needed soldiers who had the experience and skills to go toe-to-toe with them. Leading to the All-metal. I am an Allmetal, my soul, instead of being transferred directly from body to body, was contained then placed in a new body."

 

 

 

"But I thought..."

 

 

 

"And yet here we are. And no, I'm not lying, AND you were sent by a female portion of the Physical Program."

 

 

 

"Thats the Growing Night I know... you've not lost any of your intelligence. Why work for the government?"

 

 

 

"I also knew you were going to ask that. L planned all this."

 

 

 

"L? Sounds like something from an anime or something..."

 

 

 

"That's where he took it from. The character was scarily like him in thought and look, but not, thank goodness, in habit. The plan is incredibly complex. Everything could be left to chance, or, it could be predicted, then people like me would be able to set up way points for those on who the fate of America (and nigh on the world) depends. You, L and her, among others. Please reveal yourself."

 

 

 

A girl appeared and walked forward. She had an impressive amount of technology in her. She had a very large rifle slung across her shoulders and a mask hung down at her side. What struck Cheshka most was her face. It was the very picture of insolence. She slouched very low and stuck her hands in some previously invisible pockets. She also seemed to slip in and out of phase, much like a bad lightbulb.

 

 

 

"May I introduce, Ghost Ramayana, she will be part of the next portion of your story. The beginning of a most impressive climax! A pity I won't be able to see it, but I have one last thing to tell, or give you." The body from which the sound came shivered a bit, then a metallic tentacle picked up something and handed it to Cheshka. The nanites absorbed instantly. Growing Night went on to explain. "This was given to me by an aged L that you would be granted more power and abilities, to better aid you in the coming war. In this war you must not be afraid to kill even if you believe it would be a detriment to what you think is the Plan. The Plan's purpose is to destroy the Program, and to preserve whatever the Program tries to destroy to make itself safe. Your purpose this second is to destroy me, so that I do not attempt to influence the plan.

 

 

 

"To ensure that the plan succeeds, you must kill me."

 

 

 

"What? Kill my teacher... leader... friend's only child? I would never do that!"

 

 

 

"But you must..."

 

 

 

"I mustn't! I can't do that to you! Of all people!"

 

 

 

"I must be slain, Cheshka, if I am not, then the Plan would have one new variable and then all would be lost. In the name of L, my parents and everything that we left behind, kill me."

[Xewleer]

Cheshka looked at him for a second, at war with himself, how could he kill Growing Night?

 

 

 

"Let me impart some wisdom that I hope you learned from my father. What are you listening to?"

 

 

 

"I think you mean my heart..."

 

 

 

"Idiot! You'd think that you'd learn this great truth, as a soldier, loyal to my father! Never trust you heart, always trust your mind! And if you do that there is nothing to fear!"

 

 

 

"My brain is telling me to obey you for your father..."

 

 

 

"Then, as the son of Hylean, supreme commander of those loyal to the southern regions, a greater fighter than Zant and your direct commander, I order you to destroy my body!!"

 

 

 

"... ... Yes... Sir." And Cheshka brought out his sword and completed the order.

 

 

 

The Ghost, Ramayana, walked to the elevator, still flickering in and out of phase. "Neatly done, come along, we haven't time to wait. The guards will make their rounds soon. We need all the lead we can get."

 

 

 

"You seem a bit heartless."

 

 

 

"One has to, when you don't exist anywhere and you've lost so many comrades."

 

 

 

"You have a sad story. But I think that, of all people, I have the most to complain about... you can't know how painful this was. To kill your best friends..."

 

 

 

"I feel that you would become an excellent ghost... and I've killed people more horribly than what you just did. I think you are kinda cute! <3"

 

 

 

"Ah, okay... better cloak, were almost at ground floor."

 

 

 

He looked and discovered that she had already become invisible. They walked out and the guards sent them away without a second glance.

 

 

 

"She means to betray you."

 

 

 

"Who's there!?!" Cheshka looked around, Ramayana was in the proper spectrum and looked him strangely.

 

 

 

"Think next time... what did I just tell you? Honestly..."

 

 

 

"Growing Night? You could have told me about it..."

 

 

 

"I'll be gone in the end. The plan requires me to fight the Program in the non-physical plane of the Internet."

 

 

 

"But why did I have to kill you!?"

 

 

 

"Because you needed to have the resolve to kill someone you are close to."

 

 

 

"Not now that you told me that she means to betray me."

 

 

 

"Of course..."

 

 

 

"Now, stop talking to me and pay attention to where you are going. Also, I have inputted the last location of any physical form of the Program. Good byre for now."

 

 

 

Cheshka soon arrived at a base hidden in the mountains.

 

 

 

"This way please, and we'll meet the person who has been waiting so long to meet you."

[Xewleer]

Interlude...

 

 

 

Cheshka walked through the door, it was guarded by three oblivious fullmetals...

 

 

 

"Right!" Said the one called Fred. "Nothings happening, so, lets have a cuppa tea."

 

 

 

Johnny and he had a cuppa tea, and Charlie joined them. "Right!" Said Fred, "Were not really watching, so, lets go up top and see what we can see!" So Fred went up the ladder and it fell down, leaving Fred stranded. "Right! Were getting no where, so lets have a cuppa tea!" So Charlie and he had another cup of tea and then they went 'ome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just wrote this post for fun, A cookie to whomever recognizes the song it comes from.

[Xewleer]

All great battles begin with a battle or exercise in the realm of thought.

 

 

 

"You know my forces can destroy yours."

 

"My ninja spies have already infiltrated your base."

 

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

 

 

 

All battles, whether small or great, have a certain amount of the mind stress in it. Minds are a most powerful asset, whether in battle or in life. The ability to use your resources to lie to you wife, organize your own ninja spies or prepare your forces to run like sissies or fight like bulldogs. A mind is always to be the first, and your heart never to be trusted, Ghosts are not to have feelings in battle.

 

 

 

-Voluspa, the ghost recruiter, copied from "A mind at war."

 

 

 

Ramayana, the ghost deceiver, did not know why she remembered, out of the blue, that certain quote came to mind. Was it that she had a feeling of remorse for the seemingly young man who was to fight the third most powerful being that does not have god-hood? The Program! She shook her head, the feeling will pass and life will continue after he is dead.

 

 

 

----

 

 

 

Kojiki, the ghost infiltrator, lounged in the chair of the Supreme Anti-Geek Conglomerate Commander.

 

 

 

The personage in question appeared, discussing matters of state with his aide, when an electronic voice spoke up.

 

 

 

"If you please sir, the chair has a problem, a replacement has been sent for, and should arrive soon."

 

 

 

"Computer! What happened to the old voice?"

 

 

 

"I am an improved model sir, more respect programs and a greater capacity for commands than the old model, sir."

 

 

 

"Well, tell me what info our spies have gathered?"

 

 

 

"Yes sir! Right away... ... Processing, please wait... Here we are sir!

 

 

 

We have gathered info over the time sent out, these are our discoveries: 1. There are massive amounts of minor forces, these force are in micro cells of Geek Conglomerate armies, spread out all over the United States. 2. Resources have been maneuvered away from these forces and have been funneled into an unknown project, our spies have been unable to uncover the end point.

 

3. Geek Conglomerate leaders have gathered and separated at alarming speeds, this is assumed to be in conjunction with the troop movements.

 

4. We have reason to suspect that we have been infiltrated in the highest levels. Investigations are underway, no suspects yet.

 

5. We have uncovered more troops have been designed and created. To name a few: Anti-heavy aircraft personal aircraft- Aesir, Anti-Tank vehicle-Revenant, Anti-infantry infantry-Shielded Nithlings...

 

 

 

"Okay okay! I don't need to know about all their new... what is it... pawning stuff! I was briefed on the way up here and I'm pretty sure my spies didn't discover all that!"

 

 

 

"Your right" the voice changed, it was no longer metallic, but very dreadfully fleshy. "I'm not a machine, but, I am a Ghost." Kojiki appeared, sitting in the Commander's chair. "I am afraid you are too ruthless to command, too quick to kill, and too quick to deny mercy, this is not how war is fought!"

 

 

 

The commander didn't lose a second and called to his guards, who came in, guns a blazing. Kojiki had disappeared. The Commander had run into the other room, waiting for that infiltrator's demise. Shots and shouts were heard inside the room, then silence, the door opened and no one came out except for two bodies, his guards.

 

 

 

Kojiki appeared next to him. "The philosophy of ghosts are to prevent as many casualties as possible, and ensure that enlightened leadership is prevalent in the government. This is why Ghosts come back to haunt you."

 

 

 

The cannister rifle that is favored by the Ghosts was in his hands. The power of the cannisters is such that nothing distinguishable remains of the targets head. Kojiki left, his work here was done.