sad but true

[hooverscaper]

A man takes his 4-year-old son to work at the train-tracks. Two trains speed towards each-other on the same track. To save hundreds of lives, the father must pull a lever to switch the train to another rack. As he looks up he notices his son is on the track the train would switch to. He can either pull the lever and save hundreds of people, or he can save his son. Tears rolled down his cheek as he was faced with a difficult choice. That afternoon, hundreds of people had a delious lunch, knowing nothing of the event that passed beneath their feet.

[Bluejayfan94]

Thats sad :( :(

 

 

 

Was this true? like thats what the subject is.

[hooverscaper]

duh. #-o

 

It is sad isnt it :cry:

[Bluejayfan94]

Very :cry: :cry:

[archimage_a]

Its very short to....Maybe you should think about expanding it because its not really a story, its more of a plan.

[hooverscaper]

How can I expand it?

[Frankie_Ya]

That is very sad :(

[archimage_a]

Talk about the aftermath perhaps, or look into the details a bit more.

 

 

 

 

 

A man takes his 4-year-old son to work at the train-tracks.

 

(When, where, who? Go into more detail)

 

 

 

Two trains speed towards each-other on the same track.

 

(Why, when, how? And the reactions of the people on the trains)

 

 

 

To save hundreds of lives, the father must pull a lever to switch the train to another rack.

 

(How does he know? How long does he have?)

 

 

 

As he looks up he notices his son is on the track the train would switch to.

 

(Does he call out does a tear come to his eye? What happens in his head)

 

 

 

He can either pull the lever and save hundreds of people, or he can save his son.

 

(How far is it, is there anyone else around?)

 

 

 

Tears rolled down his cheek as he was faced with a difficult choice.

 

(If there are more than 1 then he has more time than it would take to shout 'move')

 

 

 

That afternoon, hundreds of people had a delious lunch, knowing nothing of the event that passed beneath their feet.

 

(Pretty bland and sort of the opposite of subtle. Its just not that great an ending.)

 

 

 

(Then move on, look at the father, the mother, the heartache and the problems.)

 

 

 

We don't know enough about the characters to feel much more than 'oh no he lost his son' Because thats not really anything long term, we are not gonna go away and feel that something bad has happened, we(Well maybe just me but anyway) feel that your read something and then wrote a summary.

[Bluejayfan94]

That afternoon, hundreds of people had a delious lunch, knowing nothing of the event that passed beneath their feet.

 

If that wasn't there no one would know what the father did. If he risked his son's life or the 100s of people's.

 

 

 

Its an ok ending but still should have jazzed it up a little.

 

But what the heck this is your first story (thingy) here and this is the first time you've had to deal with archimage_a and the rest of the picky Tip.iters lol :XD:

[hooverscaper]

I'm just telling this as I heard it. The son was one of my cousins friends. They live in Texas and I'm halfway across the country, so we don't talk much. :boohoo: That's what she told me last time I saw her.

[Bluejayfan94]

Just a little tip:

 

When writing on these forums, watch out for archimage_a!

 

 

 

He bites!! :XD: jk

[archimage_a]

Grrr only for you. :D

 

 

 

Anyway: If you are saying it as you heard it then it is not an original work, and so TECHNICALLY not allowed. However as BlueJay said you could jazz it up a little. What I was doing was being purposefully picky, some of the points are not really nessecery it was more that you could expand on some aspects.

 

 

 

 

 

And most of us are not picky...There are a few but most of the time we are just trying to be helpful....not always in a none nitpicking way.

 

 

 

PS. If you get lost with anything I say just ignore it. There is a good chance I will bring it up at least once more in the essay, and it will be phrased differently.

[Lenin64]

this is one of those stories with no really definitive ending and no details, but it still has an ending, and you know what happens. The only problem I have with thi story is: If the trains had collided, and the son was on the tracks (a stupid thing to let happen anyway), then wouldn;t the trains have hit the kid anyway?

[archimage_a]

I think the point is that the didn't collide and the kid got crushed...Although we are not sure because the Father could have grown a brain cell and run over to save the kid...

[Bluejayfan94]

Grrr only for you.

 

AHHH!! :ohnoes: :ohnoes:

 

 

 

The Father could have grown a brain cell to run over there, save the kid, and get someone else to pull the lever.

 

Plus, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD LET A FOUR YEAR OLD ON TO THE TRAIN TRACKS???

[archimage_a]

An American....But mild Racism aside...

 

 

 

There was only one person...so he had a choice...he could stand there and not pull the lever and kill many people....Or he could pull the lever kill 1 person and stand there and be happy...Ummmm I mean sad.

 

 

 

Also letting kids onto railway tracks is ILLEGAL...IT IS CALLED TRESSPASSING. THE CHILD HAS NO GOOD REASON TO BE THERE...THE FATHER IS LUCKY TO NOT GET FINED AS WELL...ALTHOUGH IS PROBALBY TOO STUPID TO REALISE....

 

 

 

Anyway if it is true I feel sorry/happy for both the father and the child...The father for losing their child and the child for losing their father...Neither of which are nesseccerly good...or bad....

[powerent]

Archimage, when Jay says you bite, you lie in the response. You bite everything. Stop being blind and cold. A kid died, and you aren't sad a bit? A HUMAN LIFE was destroyed, and you just walk along like nothing happened (that was metaphorical, of course).

 

 

 

On-topic: As it says, "sad, but true." If only it wasn't true. I think only archimage has nothing sympathetic to say. Forget him, listen to what other people think about it.

 

 

 

P.S.: This isn't a flame-fest, it's a writing forum. Say what you want to me with PM on the forums, don't intrude other places, please.

[archimage_a]

O...k I am very emotional. So please don't say I am not.

 

 

 

Besides that I am saying, perhaps not very clearly, that while I might be sympathetic towards someone dieing, there is actually no clear evidence of that, and more importantly I can't invent emotion. I can't say "That has made a dark hole in my heart" because it hasn't. A person died, supposidly, and while that would be a bad thing if it happened, you saw it happen and you were part of it. When you read about it you don't actually care that much.

 

 

 

My evidence...When you see that someone or some people have died, in a flood or in some sort of accident, you have forgotten it in about 20 minutes. Only when someone asks you do you remember and feel a bit sorry for them.

 

This read like a newspaper artical, and that is why I appear "blind and cold." I am not doing what people may do today as a direct result of PR(Public Relations) in feeling sorry for something that isn't actually effecting me, and therefore not actually making me feel sorry.

 

If it had been more like I had suggested, then perhaps I would be able to feel sympathetic towards the child in the story. But as a FACT I cannot feel sorry in anything more than a minor way.

 

 

 

This is also not a Flame-Fest. We are discussing the nature of the story, and why we have the views which we have. It is not about having an argument.

 

 

 

To close...As Stalin said.

 

When one person dies, it is a tragady. When million people die, it is a statistic.

 

One person died, and it was made to seem like a statistic. That is why I have no sympathy for it. Human Nature, rather than Public Relations.

[powerent]

I get it. Thing is, this is completely off-topic from the story. Let's just stop the flaming and leave in peace.

[sephiroth_king]

You know, his son is in the middle of the tracks, is he speechless? I mean the man--why not yell to his son, "[wagon]!!! Move outta the way!!" Jazz it up...But then, as he tells his son, he gets hit. Erm. :lol:

 

 

 

Oh, and...Indeed, I'm back only but for a little while. Yay. :P

[hooverscaper]

I accually thank you all for the constructive critisism.

[Burnt_arven]

Is this really sad, but true?

 

 

 

It truly is quite sad.

 

 

 

Quite good, but not an unheard of scenario of the 'greater good'.

 

I suppose if you really do want to make this a bigger piece you could do as Archimage suggested.

 

 

 

Possibly tackilng the guys decision in his head too - where he considers whether people he doesn't know or care for as much as his 4 year old son are more important if you really want to make it a deeper, more emotional and serious piece.

 

 

 

Well, heck of a plot anyway. Not that big of a deal - sounds like something you'd pass by word of mouth. Elaborate on it a little, could be great.

 

 

 

Still horribly tragic, if I read that in the paper... yeesh.

 

 

 

 

O...k I am very emotional. So please don't say I am not.

 

 

 

Besides that I am saying, perhaps not very clearly, that while I might be sympathetic towards someone dieing, there is actually no clear evidence of that, and more importantly I can't invent emotion. I can't say "That has made a dark hole in my heart" because it hasn't. A person died, supposidly, and while that would be a bad thing if it happened, you saw it happen and you were part of it. When you read about it you don't actually care that much.

 

 

 

My evidence...When you see that someone or some people have died, in a flood or in some sort of accident, you have forgotten it in about 20 minutes. Only when someone asks you do you remember and feel a bit sorry for them.

 

This read like a newspaper artical, and that is why I appear "blind and cold." I am not doing what people may do today as a direct result of PR(Public Relations) in feeling sorry for something that isn't actually effecting me, and therefore not actually making me feel sorry.

 

 

 

Yeah I know what you mean dude.

 

Everyone is numbed to these occurences these days. We can't help it, the worlds to big, we're more interested in things more relevant to us.

 

 

 

A quote in fight club said it all.

 

"Right. We're consumers. We're by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty -- these things don't concern me. What concerns me is celebrity magazines, television with five hundred channels, some guy's name on my underwear..." - (Tyler Durden, Fight Club 1999)

 

 

 

 

 

That is why I have no sympathy for it. Human Nature, rather than Public Relations.

 

 

 

I agree. Fair enough.

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

But anyway, it seems like this has attracted quite a lot of attention. :D

 

 

 

Maybe everyone could add to this to juice it up, just for the heck of it?

 

 

 

"A young women laughed and joked with her friends, eating the noontime meal provided.

 

 

 

- The train shifted tracks, but the passengers were oblivious -

 

 

 

She looked out the carriage window for a second. Just enough to see a man standing outside. He looked utterly defeated, what was wrong with him?

 

 

 

Just as fast as the moment came, it passed and the young women continued with her meal."

 

 

 

I can't write for S@@@

[archimage_a]

You mean like a very short role play. We just give a few moments of our supposed life at the same time as the accident?(Is it an accident?)