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Untitled Story ***UPDATED JULY 8th!***


Babybyers

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Wow. I have been gone from this site from ages, hopefully there are some familiar faces around. I have slightly changed my style, I got really distracted with poetry and film making. But I will make this return, hopefully it isn't temporary.

 

Heres my newest peice, I have 2-3 parts done ahead, but I will post in a manner that leaves you with a regular post/update.

 

So here is the intro....

 

 

 

Untitled Story

 

Chapter 1.0

 

 

 

Byron tumbled down the stairs, breaking the railing and some steps as he went. The weak wood cracked and snapped beneath his weight. His foot caught near the bottom and sent him flying through the air. He flew right through the unlatched wooden door into another, an un-expecting adventurer, who was knocked to the ground, Byron atop of him groaning from his fall. The adventure pushed Byron off of him, and slowly returned to his feet, he was panicky.

 

 

 

̢̢̮ââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅWho are you̢̢̮ââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ what the heck just happened!̢̢̮ââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

babydz3.jpg

 

The Carter III

"I can get your brains for a bargain, like I bought it from Target.

Hiphop is my supermarket, shoppin' cart full of fake hiphop artists."

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Yeah I am still kicking about...Ummm not sure about anyone else...alot of people have got bored and left...or just sort of turn up randomly.

 

 

 

Anyway I thought it was pretty amazing stuff... Sort of like the idea that someone who we don't know is the main character and the main character is knocked out...gives a sort of aire of mystery and suspence...

Well I knew you wouldn't agree. I know how you hate facing facts.

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It has a bit of mystery in it, and could be built upon. What is the history behind it? Who is this Byron, and who is the adventurer? There's a lot you can answer in the next parts.

You have no idea how powerful words are....until they hit you in the head.

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Sorry guys, Im working on it, I had to work full time this week <.<

 

BUT! I have 5 days off now =)

babydz3.jpg

 

The Carter III

"I can get your brains for a bargain, like I bought it from Target.

Hiphop is my supermarket, shoppin' cart full of fake hiphop artists."

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New part up.

 

Pleaseee don't say anything like

 

"It isn't going fast enough, where's the action?"

 

Cause that's coming up okay? -.-

 

 

 

Enjoy =)

babydz3.jpg

 

The Carter III

"I can get your brains for a bargain, like I bought it from Target.

Hiphop is my supermarket, shoppin' cart full of fake hiphop artists."

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Share on other sites

I don't know...wheres the actions JK

 

 

 

Anyway I thougt it was good, it was well written and felt like a story. It was going along at a pretty good pace and the gental humor completed the picture...

 

 

 

On the Negative side of the coin....Don't try to do too many more dramatic moments...it didn't really feel dramatic, it felt a bit rushed, and a bit normal...

Well I knew you wouldn't agree. I know how you hate facing facts.

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