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The OnyxTimes - Issue 1 - "Back, and doing what we do best!"


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Saturday, August 18th, 2007 | "This week's Runescape week in review." | Issue 1, Volume 2

 

 

 

We're back. Beautiful graphics. Organized layout. Same old top-quality. Welcome to the OnyxTimes.

 

 

 

Table Of Contents

 

redbarbh7.png - Here you can get the latest and hottest news on what's up in Gielinor.

 

bluebarut0.png - Escape boredom by reading these weekly series and other tales while skilling.

 

greenbarqb7.png - Find out interesting (and legal) tips and tricks and help speed up your daily tasks.

 

yellowbarso5.png - Find out where this week's hottest spot to train is with your host, Nice_Badger!

 

marronbaryu5.png - You might find that one herb you were always looking for in a casual bank-sale.

 

cyanbariv6.png - Ask the editors (almost) anything!

 

purplebarcl3.png - See what's new and hot this week under the 'spotlight'. [Coming Soon!]

 

___________________________________________________________

 

 

 

redgq8.pngDoing What We Do Best! - by Skill_Caster

 

Hello everyone! Thought we had been hit by a torpedo and sunk to

 

the bottom of page 12, eh? (Actually, I'm not really sure myself, I

 

just used the bookmark to find the old version.) Well, seeing as Project

 

Onyx, unfortunately, died, we decided to come back and do what we did

 

first and best. Delivering top-quality news and entertainment, in a neatly

 

organized form, and, now, with hawt fresh graphics 8-) .

 

 

 

Just like the good ol' days (two months ago) we have this column, the

 

all-around famous Main Article section! Here you can find out the latest

 

big scoop on Gielinor. And, despite the fact we only release a new article

 

on Saturdays, we will update the Main Article section the day a new update

 

comes out.

 

 

 

Next, we have the 'Stories and Tales' column! Like it's predecessor from

 

the old version, it will host a nice story or two to keep you entertained

 

while skilling (just make sure you don't get beaten the crap out of by a

 

fish troll ;). We're not liable for that). However, now we will post series,

 

to keep you on the edge of your desk chairs as the story unfolds each

 

week. And, as always, readers, feel free to submit your series/stories!

 

 

 

The next column is completely new, called 'Research'. Here we investigate

 

interesting little tidbits (such as hidden updates, or the 'shadow sword'

 

event, etc.) that were added into the game! Now Jagex can get some

 

credit for that tiny little pixel that got fixed (although we try to make it a

 

little more interesting than that ;)).

 

 

 

'The Training Zone' is another column rescued from the page 12 crash

 

of the old OnyxTimes, and it is run by Brandon. Here you can find out

 

the hottest place to train your combat! (Gotta keep up with current trends,

 

right?!)

 

 

 

Simply, the classifieds are classifieds, places users can post notices and

 

quick sales.

 

 

 

My favorite new one! The editorials section is a really hilarious section

 

where you submit your insane questions about Runescape and then

 

receive a rather interesting answer when it's published. Who said the

 

Tip.It community is always sane?

 

 

 

That's all folks. Enjoy. Tip your web browser. We'll be here each week.

 

 

 

blueod7.pngThe Narrow Escape - Part 1/3 - by Skill_Caster

 

Panic, fear, and insanity came to me bundled with the fact that I'm going

 

to die. Even though I was a newbie, I knew traveling this deep into the

 

Taverly Dungeon was a terrible mistake. Slumped against a wall I lay,

 

poisoned by a Poison Scorpion, just waiting for my death. I understood

 

there were only moments now. I slowly drank cup of tea I had took from

 

a table on my way to the entrance. I felt every ounce of the poison filling

 

my body, slowly beginning to cover every inch inside of me.

 

 

 

Suddenly, a rather rich-looking man walked up to me and after a moment,

 

handed me a strange vial of glowing green liquid.

 

 

 

"Drink it, it will cure your poison," he said in an unusually deep voice.

 

 

 

I did as I was told, whether it was actually a cure or a deadly potion I did

 

not care. Surprisingly, the moment after I drank the potion I felt remarkably

 

better.

 

 

 

The man was armed with a dragon dagger, vicious-looking poison dripping

 

from its point. He wore black robes and a hood that covered his face. For

 

a moment I thought he was Death.

 

 

 

"Come with me. I am taking you to accompany my mission. Do not ask

 

questions. Do not do anything. Or else I will have to kill you."

 

 

 

Obediently, I stood up, said nothing, and began to follow him.

 

 

 

greenku4.pngWelcome to the lab! - by Skill_Caster

 

Since we don't really have an article this week (since this is a first issue

 

and new columns don't start until Issue 2), we decided to toss one up to

 

keep you on this section.

 

 

 

The sandwich lady.

 

 

 

Apparently, she was fired from a cafe at the age of 24 when one of her

 

famous baguettes was cooked rare, not medium-rare. She whacked her

 

boss and dragged him all the way to behind Lumbridge castle.

 

 

 

So, what's really in those ordinary looking sandwichs? We decided to see

 

just what i-ooo, really, just for me? A bread roll, you say? Hey, that's

 

shaped like one-

 

 

 

yellowsa9.png[Article Pending] - by Nice_Badger

 

Currently the article for this week has not been

 

printed yet, however will arrive shortly. Thank you

 

for your patience.

 

 

 

marronwj5.pngClassifieds - Week of 8/19/07

 

stockoktr6ac6.png[sALE] Chinchompas (Normal) - 200gp each - PM me to preorder, I currently have 300 in stock. Red chinchompas I will post shortly.

 

stockoktr6ac6.png[NOTICE] - OnyxTimes is back up :D

 

To post or remove a sale/notice, PM Skill_Caster.

 

 

 

cyanjq1.pngEditorials - Week 1 - by Skill_Caster

 

We need as many questions as we can get! Feel free to PM your random insanity to Skill_Caster and look for them in next week's issue.

 

 

 

Why is Runescape's sky black?

 

Well, you see, during the 3rd age war, many dark wizards

 

were secretly experimenting without worry of being caught. They had

 

finally created a vial of atomic super 1337 owning pwnage power, except

 

when they tested it, they found it was EXTREMLY powerful. This is infact

 

how all of the gods died. The wizard's dark robes were dry clean only,

 

and when the liquid and bundled powerful impact hit them, they expanded

 

and flew up into the sky. The stars you see at night are actually those

 

wizards still on fire, trapped in 99999,999,99999999,9,9,9 meters of black

 

fabric...

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading this week's issue of the OnyxTimes. Have a nice day :)

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Well, I wasn't expecting this as PO's new purpose. o_O

 

 

 

I lol'd at the Black sky story. :lol:

 

Nice newspaper mate, again. :P You're going to add articles for the next issue I suppose?

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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Woah :shock: . I really like how you've added all those new graphics and all that razz, totally awesome, mate :) .

 

 

 

Perhaps you should invite a few guest writers for the next issue :wink: . That should make things more interesting...

 

 

 

As usual, great read. I can't wait for the next one!

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Nice read, as always. :)

 

Keep 'em comin'! :D

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Pretty much what Dragon said.

Thread terminated.

I guess that means I'm the thread Terminator?

 

No Tip.Iters were harmed in the making of this post.

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Well, I wasn't expecting this as PO's new purpose. o_O

 

 

 

I lol'd at the Black sky story. :lol:

 

Nice newspaper mate, again. :P You're going to add articles for the next issue I suppose?

 

 

 

PO's new purpose failed, I decided to just let PO rest in peace and resurret what started it all and what works best. :boohoo:

 

 

 

Woah :shock: . I really like how you've added all those new graphics and all that razz, totally awesome, mate :) .

 

 

 

Perhaps you should invite a few guest writers for the next issue :wink: . That should make things more interesting...

 

 

 

As usual, great read. I can't wait for the next one!

 

 

 

Yep, just like last time, anyone can submit an article and I'll post it in the next issue.

 

 

 

Nice read, as always. :)

 

Keep 'em comin'! :D

 

 

 

:D

 

 

 

I can do better graphix with windows paint.

 

 

 

Now, tell me, COULD YOU actually make the images on MSPAINT (like I did), spend about an hour on Macromedia Fireworks Pro 8, remove the white edges so that it's compatable with EVERY SINGLE STYLE Tip.It Forums, then create another version for each Table Of Contents entry?

 

 

 

Because I did all of that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm...3/4 good replies isn't such as bad :P

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