Requiem - A work in progress

[Paddeeh]

'Ello Tip.It.

 

 

 

Well I posted this work in progress on a forum I use -points at sig- and so far, people are loving it, so I thought I'd give a bash over here and see what you guys think of it. I'm not a massive writer, and I just stick what I think up on paper, which is how this idea came about.

 

 

 

I'm not used to any sort of structure to how I should post my story, and it was intentially meant to be one short story, maybe 5 minutes long, but it has evolved from that until the point that I plan to add more stories to this one to make a series of about 5, all of equal length, so apoligies for no chapters.

 

 

 

Some people may be offended, it does involve the divide of Heaven and Hell, and the players on both sides, but, I have and will continue to try and keep all religious aspects of the religion involved out of the story. The only aspects I will be using (just now anyway) is the concept of there being a Heaven and Hell, and the exsistence of Angels and Demons. I planned to wait until I heard back from ForsakenMage before posting, but I'm sure the post will be deleted if it does break the rules.

 

 

 

Why am I posting an unfinished article? So I can get you to critise me, I don't want anyone to just skin through this story and say its good, if you feel that anything is wrong, tell me, becuase I probably wont notice it myself. So without furth ado, here is my story:

 

 

 

 

 

Requiem

 

 

 

Cassius strode purposefully towards the gleaming white passage that would take him to the real world. Either side of him, impassive guards flanked him, their corporeal blades giving off a pure light which overrode the senses. The vast chamber was humming with an undeterminable power, pillars extended in every direction, the writing on them gleaming with light. Cassius, donning a casual attire of white silk cloth, hung loosely on his well maintained body. Standing well over 6 foot, he was a presence to behold. He was a member of the Ordos, a small, elite army of Angels that guarded the Gates of Heaven from the minions of Hell for over 4 millennia. Never has a minion of Hell entered the Gates of Heaven, due almost entirely to the unfaltering efforts of the Ordos, who maintained at least 200 of their members guarding the entrance at any time, well over half of the Ordos. Each member, able to hold his own against all but the most difficult foes, had been handpicked, some for their combat ability, others for their abilities with their minds, and others for their unwavering faith in the face of evil.

 

 

 

Cassius led a detachment of Ordos, the Ordos Letalis, whose duty it was to protect humans from the evil of Hell. This duty meant Cassius and his brethren spent almost all of their time in the real world, hunting down the scum of Hell, who subtly attacked or corrupted humans. Unrivalled in skill with handguns, Cassius was arguably one of the strongest members of the Ordos, his abilities all but unmatched. He was a quiet man, with no time for any but his closest friends and brethren. With a mind as sharp as his blade, Cassius used it to devastating effect, using but his voice, he could plant an idea in your head, make you point your own weapon on friends, family or on your own person. His blades, called Formidonis and Decessus, both writhed with energy, hanging off his back, keen to spill blood.

 

 

 

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅHush hush FormidonisÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

[Xewleer]

I got all the characters mixed up in the end, but I pulled through. It's a bit iffy, but really, its just a story. Don't assume that because I'm here and its a story with questionable realities that I'll argue. (what arrogance!)

 

 

 

Don't feel to bad, I'm a demi-god in a world I created, called myself the writer, second only to God (I'm referring Him as Three in One, as all are God) in power.

 

 

 

Not so bad really, didn't understand the Requiem name though.

[PaperClipsYaaaar]

I don't like the font. The font is very plain.

[Necromagus]

[mod-hat]Paperclips, knock it off with the spam please.[/mod-hat]