nine naked men Posted November 9, 2008 Share Posted November 9, 2008 For a contest in my town, you have to write a short story on a topic, as well as include a specific sentence within the text, and the winner receives $150. Cake, huh? This is what I've written for the contest. Any c/c, whatever, corrections before I submit it? Deadline's the 15th of November, so I'm not under any pressure or anything. Topic was: "School Life Is..." Sentence was: "At that moment I felt all alone. More alone than at any time in my life." I kinda had to work in the sentence, so it sounds kinda awkward when its used. Enjoy! [hide=Voila!]olololwangst[/hide] sleep like dead men wake up like dead men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragoonson Posted November 11, 2008 Share Posted November 11, 2008 I'd say its good enough,how many participants? Also,sexy name.Langtree :twss: so i herd u liek devarts?If you look at me and feel offended by my 666-ism,think.I could be just as offended by your "cross".[hide=This's why I'm hot]The Eleventh Commandment:Thou Shalst only say "Amen,brother".Amen, brother :lol:Amen, brudda (referring to the 10th commandment)amen Bruder! (german ftw)I'm invulnerable to everything, except Lenin and Dragoonson.That's impossible. I love people.[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ember3579 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Interesting story. However, it might be somewhat bad for the chosen audience. Well, unless if you're already well-known around your school for being somewhat of a homicidal lunatic. Then you can do whatever you wish. Don't drop the soap! \ You never know which rabbit hole you jump into will lead to Wonderland. - Ember3579Aku Soku Zan. - ShinsengumiYou wanna mess with me or my friends? Pick your poison.If you have any complaints about me, please refer to this link. Your problems are important to me.Don't talk smack if you're not willing to say it to the person's face. On the same line, if you're not willing to back up your opinions no matter what, your opinion may as well be nonexistent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nom Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 That is the most awful prompt ever. First of all, it's not one sentence, it's a sentence and a fragment. Second, it's a cliche to end all cliches. Not your fault at all, that's just ludicrously bad. Reminds me of the crap articles they have on the PSAT/SAT. The ones that are supposed to be uber but really suck. In the last one I had there was a sentence that was 14 lines long. FOURTEEN. Christ, to think this test is supposed to be representative of the American standard of education for college admission . . . Random tangent over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 Seems pretty good to me, though it makes you sound homicidal. 2257AD.TUMBLR.COM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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