Hello everyone ...

 

Morning everyone.

And saved.

hows life halo

Pretty damn good. Ya know just being awesome is good for your health.

inafteredit

Rectum?

Damn near killed him!

Quad post because my blood is tiger blood.

Haven't posted here in some time.

My first thought was some variation of beer pong...

Yay for Friday. No Maths today.

Silly Dax, it's still Thursday.

And off to school I go.

>Australian timezones.

My headphones will not turn down. Like, at all. Even if I mute the youtube video. They're as low as they'll go. It's too loud. :/

My headphones feel so weird now with my haircut.

*yawn*

So yeah I tried out those throwbacks today and they're really good.

Also:

Hey, question to anyone who has a microphone for their computer:

I need voice actors for a video I'm working on. It's for a friend irl, not for /FG/, but I have enough characters that there's no way I can voice them all.

There's 5 characters I need voice actors for. If people can do more than one, I'm fine with that. But yeah. Anyone willing to help that can?

Reposting so people see.

Hey, what's the script, if there is one, and what's it for(more details than just for a friend).

If you wish to discuss it in a PM, you're more than welcome to do so.

Oh, right. I forgot I finished it. Quick warning; 99% of this is inside jokes that you won't understand. :3

 

[Hide=in here. it's fairly long]

Narrator: They tell of a man who has lived centuries. Some say he is an immortal man. Others that he is not a man at all, but a spirit sent to our world by the devil himself. And perhaps the latter lie is more true. For wherever he goes, this man spreads death and destruction. Wars have raged because of him, women have fallen in love with him only to be ripped asunder by his cold indifference, and he takes no quarter. Few know the true story of this man. So sit down, and I will spin you the tale of the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Narrator: It started like many things do. Two men, against each other on the battlefield. [Fade out] Alright honey, go play now.

Washington Mom: Alright honey, go play now. Have fun!

Washington: Yay! [Runs to playground]

British Bloke: [Comes down slide, sees Washington] Washington.

Washington: British Bloke.

British Bloke: I thought I told you to stay off of my playground.

Washington: I seem to remember telling you the same thing.

British Bloke: Oh really? You want to fight about it?

Washington: What can you do against me?

British Bloke: This. [Hit Washington]

Narrator: And thus began the revolutionary war of the playground. It was a bloody battle, with many scraped knees, and many hurt feelings. Finally, it came down to a final battle. British Bloke had his gang of superior thugs, and Washington's forces were thin and ragged, their juice boxes low and their jeans all ripped. But they had one last chance. From Washington's position, if he could cross the dreaded Delaware river, he could take the slide from British Bloke, and win the war. But the wood chips had become clogged with mud from the battles and from the rain the night before. They couldn't cross. Until Washington had an idea.

Washington: To the Air Dingies! We'll not cross through the river, we'll go over it!

Narrator: And so Washington's forces faithfully climbed into their Air Dingies, and they flew to meet British Bloke's forces. The final battle was the worst of all, names called, hair ripped out, and one of Washington's troops was pushed off of the slide and broke his arm. Finally, it came down to two people, the screams of the other soldiers in the background.

[british Bloke is on the slide, Washington on the ground]

British Bloke: This is the end of the line Washington. You can't take me from down there on the ground. I'm invincible! [Levels gun on Washington]

Washington: Do it then! I put my faith in God! He will never let you British take over the playground, he will leave the fun to me and to my faithful troops!

[Zoom in on British Bloke]

British Bloke: Die, you Yankee scum. [Fires. He's out of bullets.]

Washington: Ha! [Camera zooms out, Washington has gun out] Not today! God has prevailed!

Narrator: And that day the Dread Pirate Roberts was born. Washington led his forces in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, keeping the British from undermining the new system of playground power, their democracy. It was a golden time. But it didn't last. As time passed, it became clear that the playground needed a leader, and so Washington gave up his title of Dread Pirate Roberts and became playground president. But the story doesn't end there. Washington gave the title to one of his friends who he thought worthy of it.

[Washington->British soldier(Spy maybe)]

Here the story grows into obscurity. Others more versed may know more than I do, but the line seems to have gone to Europe. Two Dread Pirate Roberts grew rich and passed on the line before it can be traced again, this time to a man named Wesley.

Now Wesley was not of our time period. His story is somewhat complex. He loved a beautiful woman and in order to provide for her, Wesley set out to find his fortune. For a while, he worked for a wise old woman, until one day he found out her secret. She was a witch, and though he did not care that she was, she could not let him live knowing her secret. She cursed him, but instead of killing him as was her intention, she sent him into the future. There, he took the Dread Pirate Roberts line until one day, when he was yanked back to his time period.

[Witch burning scene that I'm too lazy to mess with.]

Narrator: As she burned, Wesley's curse was broken and he was brought back to his time and his lover. One of Wesley's pirates was left the title of Dread Pirate Roberts. That man was Robert Pontellier.

[On a boat in the ocean]

Robert: Ah! It's good to be a pirate! I've completely forgotten about Edna! Who's Edna? Hah! I don't care! What'd you have for lunch today? [sigh] I miss her...

Pirate: Captain! We are being engaged!

[Camera rolls to second ship. Black pirate steps up to bridge between ships]

Black pirate: So. You are the renowned Dread Pirate Roberts. What a surprise to meet you out here, in the middle of the ocean.

Robert: I'm sorry, but have we met? Did I kill your family or something?

Black pirate: [Dramatically] My name...is British Bloke the third. You killed my ancestor. Prepare to die.

[Robert pushes him off the bridge]

Black pirate: You think you will defeat me so easily? Ha! I have taken the thing you love most! Come to New Orleans – if you dare! [He disappears]

Robert: Edna! Set sail for New Orleans!

[Cut to New Orleans, some shop by a dock with a sign “Welcome to New Orleans!” Zoom inside]

Robert: Alright, British Idiot! Get out here!

British Bloke: [Walks in wearing British Bloke the first's hat] The name's British Bloke. Thanks.

Robert: Whatever. Are you ready to die?

British Bloke: Ladies first.

[Fight scene. Robert kills him with a bullet]

Robert: Where is-

British Bloke: [Dying] Your...precious? [Cough] You'll never know...

Pirate: [Offscreen] Sir! It was behind the bookcase!

British Bloke: ..Damn [Dies]

Robert: Edna!

[Cut to cell. Robert walks in.]

Robert: Ed-na? What is this?

[Pirate walks in]

Pirate: Oh my gosh! It's the metaphysical representation of the declaration of independence!

Robert: ...what?

Pirate: The declaration of independence! It's too powerful a concept to be simply physicial, so it floats in the sky to provide freedom to those who have America in their hearts and in their souls. It is truly the greatest symbol of our country! With this, we can be free once more, forever! A utopian society! Per-

[Robert rips the paper]

Robert: THAT ISN'T EDNA! [stalks out]

Narrator: He found her in a coffee shop that afternoon. The Dread Pirate Roberts line next went to a man named Dan Cody. He was not a very good Dread Pirate Roberts.

[Drunk guy]

Narrator: As he died, the Dread Pirate Roberts line went to Jay Gatsby. Jay Gatsby was different than the rest. He knew the times, saw what Prohibition would let him do, and so set up his piracy on land.

[Zoom in on Drug store]

[interior of Drug store. Multitude of pirates around, all with beer of some sort.]

Gatsby: Good work men. This shipment will last us some time. [Doorbell rings. Tom walks in.] Hello. How may I help you?

Tom: [Holds up Myrtle] Yes, I was just taking Myrtle around to the local shops. She's very excited to see them.

Gatsby: [skeptical]Uh huh. Well, what can we help you two with?

Tom: She's not really my wife you know. I'm cheating on my wife. This is my mistress. Myrtle is that is. Myrtle's my mistress. Daisy's my wife.

Gatsby: [Wonderment]Daisy...Fay?

Tom: No! Daisy Buchanan you silly! She is my wife after all! Though, yeah, she used to be Daisy Fay.

[Pirate locks the doors. Gatsby advances forward as camera zooms in and room darkens.]

Gatsby: You...can not leave, old sport.

Tom: Oh?

Gatsby: I'm afraid you have taken something very precious from me. You know who I am?

Tom: You're some bootlegger. Who cares who you are?

Gatsby: I am the Dread Pirate Roberts! You have stolen Daisy from me, and I will kill you!

Tom: I'm afraid not. [Myrtle flashes. Scene changes to a nondescript battlefield. Tom is wearing a sword and shield. On the shield is a picture of a bush.] I am the bush knight! I shall penetrate you with my sword!

Gatsby: [Draws cutlass. Calmly.] Alright old sport.

[Fight scene here. Myrtle gets stepped on. Tom slices Gatsby through in a rage.]

Gatsby: Damn...

Tom: You killed my woman!

Gatsby: [Dying] And you...stole mine. [dies]

[Fade to black]

[/hide]

 

Yeah, I wouldn't ask for help if I could do these on my own. I'm planning on voicing the Narrator and Gatsby. These are the others that need voices:

 

Washington (is a little kid, and would have to be voiced as such. My little kid voice sounds like my regular voice, otherwise I'd do that too.)

British Bloke (is British. I can't do a British Accent to save my life. An australian accent would probably work here too if it were authentic.)

Robert (is a spanish style romantic. Except he's in mexico.)

Tom (is a jock.)

What the [bleep] did I just read?

As I said, a bunch of inside jokes created in the course of a semester worth of hour and a half classes in a crazy class.

 

That isn't half of it.

Let me get this straight.

A British "Bloke" is fighting a little kid on a playground?

Is this "Bloke" supposed to be an adult or something?