First before reading the story heres somethings you should know

 

 

 

1. It clashes dramtically with the history of runescape. In this story Zamorak is not yet a God, but Guthix and Sarodim are well known, Zaros and Armadyl are not Gods yet either. Also I may switch between first and third person writing in the story srry lol. Also I will be posting chapter by chapter to see if people will like it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Tale of Zaros

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1 : Awakened Rage

 

 

 

Long ago when the land of Geilnor was young their was a young boy named Zaros. He lived in the city of Avvarocka with his mother. His father was defending the city from the mahjarrats. Zaros knew little of them but even so he feared them for he heard they were very powerful people who wreaked havoc upon the world. One day Zaros woke up and his home was in complete disarray. His bed was half scorched and barely missed him. He was frightened and searched for some clue to what happened. Then he heard his mother weeping sorrowfully. He ran to her. Then on the floor he saw his father lying in a pool of blood and a dragon dagger driven into his back. Then he heard his mother scream and he looked up. He saw a man in a red robe and hood and some sort of m symbol on his chest. He started smirking, then laughing. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅThis weakling was no challenge at all to kill You two are lucky I have orders to let you live.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Nice story, but I saw it on another topic before...

No you didn't its not on any other forum.

Some replies would be nice Ill pay some money in rs for some helpful reviews anyway I might as well put the next couple of chapters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2 : Banished

 

 

 

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅHe has caused us to much trouble to stay in the city! ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

I think it's a gr8 story and I'm a big fan of you.

 

 

 

(And I'm a follower of Zaros)

finaly someone responds and thanks but if you tell people that your a fan of me you will more than likely be flammed serverly

I follow Zaros and altough I am unable to believe your story, anyone who supports zaros is good by me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The story should be expanded upon instead of the rushed method you used of chapters. These often restrict what you can write as you wish to keep the chapters the same size. It also disallows you from expanding on teh story, such as when he is with zatix, Instead of 'he trained me' you could have 'I remember one day in particular' It was the day that zatix showed me how to use a bow.... and I nearly got this cat with a water spell, I discoved...cats dont like water.... Or the time that I set zatix's beard alight

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and such

I know , I know but I have so many ideas for the story I just end up rushing through some parts and i'm not trying to make all the chapters the same size. However I just want to start writing certain parts such as when Zaros is captured by Mahjarrats and when King Vanoro reveals himself to be Haz- you didn't hear anything :wink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edit: wait i forgot what thread I read it in but did you post in it you think Zaros wasn't evil? If so you will be dissapointed near the end of the story lol.

well then thats no good, if you dont finish everything to a high standard people dont keep on visiting

I took your advise from the last post and i'm changing that chapter 4 was it?

Y does your sig say follower of guthix?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh and good update, but maybe use your own imagionation aswell

I'm a follower of balance first but if there were no Guthix I'd be Zaros for sure. (Can't wait till he owns Zammy one day lol)

who guthix or zaros?

Did I make it so hard to understand? :roll: I'm for Guthix but if he didn't exist I'd be Zaros for sure. Heres chapter5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5: The Prophecy Stone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I did not know why I was sent to Avvarocka but IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m sure it had a purpose. Then I remembered something Zatix told me about something called the Prophecy stone. Then I remembered Reynaldo, the librarian in Avvarocka. I knew he must know something about the Prophecy Stone. I decided I had to return to the city. When I walked in many did not recognize me. However I walked by my old house and saw my mother. She looked very weak and frail now. She saw me then looked astounded, happy, yet full of sorrow all at the same time. I was about to go to her but she got up, went into her room and closed the door. I felt very sad at that moment. However I knew I had to speak with Reynaldo about the Prophecy Stone. I went to King VanoroÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s palace where his library was. Surprisingly the guards did not ask my business in the castle. They just looked at me and seemed as though they were trying to remember who I was. I went to the library and saw Reynaldo. He looked much older than I remembered him. He saw me and instantly remembered me. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅTerrible thing they did to you boy. Err what was your name again? I must have forgotten.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Actually it was who was gonna own zammy, guthix or zaros?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The capter was good but the fight could be expanded upon instead of just it grew hotter, try to includ stuff like 'The beasts surrounded my, but with my wits about me I darted through an ever tightening gap in their circle.' or' They surrounded me but my power was no match for them, I grab the sword and swept in a wide circle, cutting many of them down.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'suddenly a massive beast emerged, I attempted to destory ity but I was able to get through a gap under its body, impaling my sword into the soft underbelly of the beast. The sword clatted back down behind me but unable to go back I ran for the stone grabing it with one and and swing round the poduim with the other, Doing a roll in the air I landed with my hand firmly round my blades hilt...'

I was just hoping people would forget about the me paying them for reviews thing but wow your great with these oh and it was Zaros who would own Zammy

I always thought it was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Im only great in small doses(according to Gaalsien and Dragoncmd anyway), I tend to latch on to a single point, something that has no real importants and make it the focal point of the story. Some times this can work but it is more often than not going to fail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh and any idea about the next chapter will there by a rush across runescape, to find Zaros. Or just a quite session of training or something?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Its often to think that every post has to have a fight scene in but it is good to sometimes build a relationship up with someone over 5-9 chapters then have them killed, for no real reason they just die. It makes the audiance believe that your a reckless and that anything could happen to anyone

you don't think I've killed off enough people lol?

In a story like this... You can never kill enough people, unless there is no one else left

ok this is my last post today and when i have chapter 6 theres gonna be another friend who will be inhumanely slaughtered in chapter 7 lol.

yay...i mean how terrible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death is an important part of any story

edit: wait i forgot what thread I read it in but did you post in it you think Zaros wasn't evil? If so you will be dissapointed near the end of the story lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oh hes only said it in 3 threads so far (that I can remember I know theres more) and two of them were locked.

Its still a gr8 story but the words n00b and lol were disturbing me a lil' bit in te first chapters. I think it's also confusing that you sometimes switch between first and third person. The new spells are gr8 (I wish Jagex would really make them in a new update) but the part with 'that day I found out that cats don't like water' is meant to be funny I think, but it isn't really and that's a lil' bit disburbing. And why is Zaros the son of Guthix?! Maybe you could use some cool summoning spells in the next chapters? Anyways, I'm looking forward to chapter number 6, keep writing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. please don't notice my grammar mistakes, I'm dutch...

Zaros isn't evil....that doesn't mean he didn't do something evil.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are many parts of a story that are not written to the best they can be but if the author is told about them and then how they could improve them it helps alot.

Hey would anyone mind proof reading this for me i'll pay them 10k in runescape to do so. Also chapter 6 is on the way so don;t worry I'm trying to figure out a way to fit Dharok into it and make Zaros learn how to do channeling.