Okay Archimage, what exactly do you want me to review? all 20k words?!?

If you would be so kind as to review all

 

20,125 words

 

OR!!!

 

111,205 Characters without spaces

 

 

 

You do have a choice :thumbsup:

 

 

 

Anyway, there may(or may not) be more including residents first post, and my last post. If you would also review them that would be nice.

 

 

 

I do not tell you how to do your job, but I would prefer if you told me how to do mine. Try to analyze the story if possible, pick out the good bits, and the bad bits.

 

For instance:

 

I know that my second post(I think it was my second) the part about killing the crowd of people, was written with great skill, and could not really be improved(Based on real life accounts)

 

 

 

Whereas the majority of the rest of the story could be improved by editing, cuting and to a lesser extent pasting.

 

 

 

I really appreciate you doing this 20,000 word project for me, and would be thrilled if you could make the review over 25,000(not including my text) But I will be happy with 20,000 if you can't manage that...

 

 

 

Serouisly though I want a bit(Just a little bit) more than half a page...it needs alot of work and you are the most skilled, and most able...and therefore best person to tell me what to do...

 

 

 

Faster you get it done(Though I don't mind if it takes a few weeks) the faster I can edit it(Probably a few more weeks) and then write the next part....Oh and if you really don't want to do the full thing, you can stop at the end of Chapter 1...

 

Don't want to give anything away but I am probably gonna scrap chapter 2.

I see, will save my judgements for when I review, This will be my biggest challenge YET(i) I might be able to review it today, but it will take a long time to read. Man! oh well. I'll start reading after I do another chapter for my story, might be able to review Sat. night, my time.

Stop saying my time...there are very few instances....about 10-12am, with someone in a country 12 hours behind you....that warrent that sort of point being made.

 

 

 

Anyway as I said I want it long... Make it the best you can do...then get someone else...and make them do it again...then review thier review...then use that review to guide you in doing a new review of the story.

 

I want it to be almost as daunting as reading Aura Wars

bumping this so it is easier for me to get to it as I read it for the review... good story, about 1/3 through it.

dang this is heaps long lol... its good so far of what i have read :D