When They Met...

[sanguinariun]

He was a rich and wealthy man,

 

 

 

she was working over a frying pan.

 

 

 

He was wearing all kinds of party hats,

 

 

 

she was feeding all her cats.

 

 

 

He rode a white stalling through the town,

 

 

 

she walked so much the skin on her feet wore down.

 

 

 

He gave free armour, money, and rings,

 

 

 

she was in lumby begging for things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He saw her his eyes widened,

 

 

 

she saw him and felt delighted.

 

 

 

She bowed her head in shame,

 

 

 

he came to her and asked for her name.

 

 

 

She said "I'm Suzy,

 

 

 

and i am poor

 

 

 

so you don't have to talk to me anymore".

 

 

 

He shook his head and took her by the hand,

 

 

 

"You can come live with me" he said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She lived with him,

 

 

 

for a long while.

 

 

 

Now they are married,

 

 

 

and have a child.

 

 

 

Let this be a lesson,

 

 

 

to all who dont belive,

 

 

 

Love can be found,

 

 

 

no matter how much money.

[YukkyDins]

i love it! its great! you have a life of poetry ahead of you!

[Overture18]

Wow.. I loved it..

 

The ending is very true aswell.

[issy2]

It's good.

 

 

 

 

 

Just two things;

 

 

 

Poems don't have to rhyme, if it means using the wrong word then don't rhyme!

 

I don't understand how the love between them grew, I think maybe you might add another verse about their growing relationship?

 

 

 

 

 

Edit; In verse one; 'He rode a white stalling through the town.'

 

If you mean male horse, it's spelt stallion.

 

 

 

 

 

Otherwise, yes it's very good. Maybe try to give the poem a stronger rhythm, to keep the reader reading?

 

 

 

=D> :D

[Death45]

Wow this is errr great? The poem is good but the main plot is unknown so you might wanna add it. =D>