Sky_Assasin9 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Normally, I'm not a romantic writer. But I was struck by a certain mood today. When I close my eyes, Your face comes back to me. When I close my eyes, Your all that I can see. If I close my eyes, Maybe the tears won't come so fast. If I close my eyes, Maybe you'll come back at last. Cause I need you now, It's too hard without you here. Cause I love you girl, I'm only happy when your near. I'm only happy when your near... Only happy when your near... When I'm with you, I feel no fear... But it's all too late, I know I missed my chance. So I ask you girl, Just give me one last dance. "And if Strength is born from Heartbreak, then mountains I could move..."GMT-5:00 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragoncmd Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 intresting... its a bit different than most poetry or romance stuff that I like, but its pretty good, 8/10 Pm me if you need anything proof-read, I may not be very good, but I am always willing to help.A Seal Clubber is me!A Oxygenarin is me!6*9=42 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
issy2 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 The beginning's a lil' cliche... but i LOVE!!! the last line. Amazing! 10/10 for the last verse 7/10 for the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-mbball- Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Wow, that's all I can say. I am very into romantic poems and stories even if I'm 12 years old. I liked your style, and the rythm to this poem. I'm sure if you added some more lines that this could definately be the chorus to a song. Goodluck with your future poems, and remember writing is the lyrics to life. Rate:9.5/10(It could be longer.) ^Thank you Despaxes for the sig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirith_knight Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I couldn't stop my mind from snapping to the song "When I close my Eyes" by Kenny Chesney. Not to bad at all, I kinda hummed it to the rythmn of the song and it almost words already... the two sound very similar if you have heard the song. Very well written all together :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now