Looce Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 is there really a new island No, it's just a story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ste_mc_efc Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 i just thought he might know something thats might be coming out soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zonorhc Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 No offense, but it greatly detracts from the writing's quality when you have such glaring errors in spelling, grammar and literary conventions such as capital letters for proper nouns. Also, when you write fanfiction, it's generally a better idea to not make it sound like you're actually playing a game. If I wanted a story of how someone played a game, I'd play said game and save myself the trouble of reading. Varrock Library: Shattered Sky | Silent Thunder | The Emperor's FinestAstri @ MythWeavers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barfbag Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 Van and Mimi stepped out onto the new island. It was darker than the rest of Runescape. "JEJeX realy out-did themselvs this time." Said van, staring out into the open field of beutifull grass and trees. "They sure did. It looks like night, dosent it? Its so romantic...." Mimi said, taking Van's hand and moving closer to him. Van grinned as they started walking togeather into the field, following an old stone path that was cracking evry 5 feet. Van and Mimi came to the entrance to the dungeon, spotting a sign that read- DANGER! Many monsters! Level 55 and up! "You ready Mimi?" "Sure am, Van." They entered the dungeon. It was brighter than outside, being lit by tortches on every wall. As Van and Mimi walked down the tunnel, They came across 3 doors. They all had signs attached to them. " Lets see whats behind door no 1." said Van. The Sign read: For lv 55- 60. "Door no 2?" Said Van, and they read: 60-75. "Door no 3! " Said Mimi as she read aloud: Lv 75 and up. Dragons and demons! They entered the door, And right infront of them, Players were killing blue dragons, Baby blue dragons and lesser demons. They walked down farther when they came across MANGUS. He got one good look at them and said: "Follow me for fun, Love-birds. " To stand in the valley of death is one thing, to not have been able to stop the chaos is another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barfbag Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 I'd play said game myself and save the trouble of reading. THAT is not the best grammer, buddy-boy. Correct your own before insulting mine, got it? To stand in the valley of death is one thing, to not have been able to stop the chaos is another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zonorhc Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Actually, it was gramatically acceptable to begin with, and didn't stick out like a sore thumb as your errors do. You also tend to use a very passive voice in your writing. Try to give the text more of an active voice instead. Varrock Library: Shattered Sky | Silent Thunder | The Emperor's FinestAstri @ MythWeavers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajahofffx Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 its jagex not jejex PS there probaly never be a island like that because it would destroy the point of p2p and i do agreed with the 'other guy' you shouldn't tell the story from the players pov Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajahofffx Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 its jagex not jejex PS there probaly never be a island like that because it would destroy the point of p2p and i do agreed with the 'other guy' you shouldn't tell the story from the players pov Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barfbag Posted December 23, 2004 Author Share Posted December 23, 2004 OMG you guys are THICK-HEADED!! Its a story, not a perfictly correct masterpiece checked over for 3hrs strieght!! Plus, Its fiction and I wright it in my spare time!!! For god's sake! Go Insult me on your own story ok? Thank you. To stand in the valley of death is one thing, to not have been able to stop the chaos is another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zonorhc Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 I was offering constructive criticism, and if you can't handle that, why did you even post this? I write in my spare time as well, but I make sure that what I write is presentable. You do not need to spend three hours proofreading a piece; do it as you go. In the forum description of the Library, it also says "Creative writing masterpieces." While this isn't an enforced idea, it does help when you put a bit of effort into what you write. Varrock Library: Shattered Sky | Silent Thunder | The Emperor's FinestAstri @ MythWeavers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burnt_arven Posted December 26, 2004 Share Posted December 26, 2004 its jagex not jejex PS there probaly never be a island like that because it would destroy the point of p2p and i do agreed with the 'other guy' you shouldn't tell the story from the players pov Lay off him already, it seems like he purposely changed the name to jejex for his own reasons. Maybe to point out it's fictional. ------------------------ Overall nice attempt with your story. It's pretty good. Also, I agree with what zonorhc has to say. He has a point. 8) It's better to burn out, than to fade awayThe king is gone, but he's not forgotten- Neil Young Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 hmmm..very good plot. This is certainly the way to go for the big boys/girsl! the grammar, i'll admit is something else, but i'm not gonna pursue that subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 I got permission from barfbag to continue the story...so...here goes! "Follow you for fun? What do you think you are, our fairy godfather or what?" Van grumbled. Meeting the demon who had made an entire mine almost collaspe and permantly injure a load of miners, he wasn't too happy at all. "Yeah," said Mimi, "We're our own masters. So go kill some other dragon, we want to train here, got it?" "I am afraid you will have to follow me, noble and strong you both may be," MANGUS replied. "Your decision lies in my hands, not yours." "Your hand, I wouldn't mind slicing it off your wrist, although this isn;t the wilderness unfortunatly," Mimi countinued. "I would -"She broke off at the sight of the glowing energy gathering in MANGUS' hand. "The mine," Van gasped. "That's how you did it-" He had no time to finish his sentence, as MANGUS sent the energy ball towards them. On a closer look, it was revealed to have some fire and lightning mixed in it. Funny, Van thought. That looks- An enraged Black Demon roared as it's claws swiped at Mimi and Van. Without missing a heartbeat, Van picked up his Rune Scimitar and brought a good crack on its head. He was trained to do such things when he met Vannaka. He taught him everything he knew, so this made him one helluva warrior. The Rune Scimitar exploded, and it left no dent in the Black Demon. Staring at the ball of energy that would prophesise his doom, he did the only thing that would come to his mind...it was praying time. His captor would recieve a heck of a shock. The captor into the prey. Pardon the pun. He concentrated hard, trying to see himself in his mind deflecting magical spells without effort. In the other claw, Mimi was doing the same thing, her forehead already shining with sweat. What would it be like, Van thought, to die in here? I really don't want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 There was no doubt about it. While the stupid Black Demon tried to crunch his teeth through her Runite armour, an ominous ball of doom made it's way towards the unfortunate trio. It sizzled with fire everywhere around it, with a ball of lightning ready to explode on contact...a ball of lighting surrounded by fire... The idea clicked in her head. She would try to get her hands out of the demon's finger-cage, and let two Water Blasts loose, one to remove the fire barrier, the other to electrocute the lighting inside. Her only problem was the moment the fire was realeased, the lighting would strike out, as fast as hummgbird wings went. Not a good place to be in. This dilmena was going to take out her brain cells. She started to concentrate. She decided to get the death grip off, she would unload a massive Earth Wave, thus releasing her, Van, and plowing the demon a few meters away. Then she could try to blast the spell into heaven knows where. It was either no one or them, and she'd prefer no one any day. Concentrating hard, she managed to summon the powers of the ground into her hands. Shouldn't be too difficult, when you're underground. Next she realeased the energy through her hands to her fingers to her evenly painted fingernails. She could see Van from the corner of her eye watching her, as he attempted to activate his Protect to Magic prayer. Thank the gods for dragon and giant bones. The Black Demon was lifted off it's feet, towards a mass of players attempting to destroy an iron dragon. One of the players accidently let go of his Runite Two-Hander as he tried to crush it. The two-hander flew towards the demon at the same time. The demon roared with even more pain as the Two-Hander forced it back where it belong. He barely flew in time right in front of Mimi and Van, taking the full shock and burn of the ball that ugly villain named MANGUS let loose onto them. Saved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fironic21 Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 ERm....no offense but this story is not at all exciting,and the grammar leaves MUCH to be desired i agree. nice pic btw konkanprogram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Van woke up with a shock, yelling out the name, "Mimi!" It took a few moments for him to realize he was in Varrock, on the laying on the ground in the midst of all te people who were selling and buying items. Everyone turned towards him, looknig at him with dignified shock, as if he had just been recently infected with a mania condition. Which he wasn't, in theory. "Right then, go back to your selling and buying people," Van muttered. "I happen to be an infectious guy, if you're wondering." The crowd immediatly parted, as he pulled out his Virus Sword. With the mad glint of fear in his eyes, added with the sight of a glowing Runite Scimitar, it was no wonder the crowd was scared of him. Falador, Arsgarnia Two days later, Van entered the Falador Castle for a medical view on his status. Although he insisted nothing was wrong with him, the doctors in Varrock insisted, and he was forced to take an examination to ensure he was not mad. As if he needed the doctor to inspect his new sword. He insisted to have a stiff beer before entering, and amazingly, the doctors let him. He strolled into the pub, and ordered his usual arsganian ale from the bartender. He lifted his mug and drained the ale in one gulp. Savoring the taste of the ale, it took only moments for him to fall uncouncious. The doctors had slipped some sort of sleeping drug into his drink. Snickering, the few medical men that were with him lifted him up and carried his out of the pub. Falador Castle, 2nd Floor. Van woke up with a shock, just as he had in Varrock. This time, he was not on the gravel by the fountain, but locked up in chains on the stone wall. He took time to register what was around him, until his eyes landed on one person. It was Andrew himself. He walked over to where Van was chained, and smirked at him. "So Mister..." he started "Just call me Van. I hate getting formal with people." Van said "Right then. So Van, I apoligize for locking you up, but the environment you are in right now might have disturbed you, so we decided to lock you up for a short while to ensure you do not attempt to kill any of us." "Onto buisness now," said a voice from some corner of the room. It was Mod Simon himself. He was wearing a simple leather body, with a little bronze sword in his hand. The crucial difference was that both of his armour and weapon were glowing a deadly red, prepared to slay more virus monsters. "Like them?" Simon asked, catching Van's glance towards himself. "I love making fun of virus monsters. This happens to be a fake. Give me a few seconds and you're gonna get a very red sword carving a pretty pattern in your face." "Right then Simon," Andrew silenced him with a wave of his hands. "You happen to be one of the few players in this world with our respect," Simon said. "Therefore, in a meeting of grave decisions, we have reached our conclusion, " At those words, Simon walked over to the wall, and with his bronze sword, tapped it in seven different places. When he did, the wall melted, and Van gasped. Beyond the wall, were an array if weapons, all polished and glowing. There was his favorite longsword type to use, and an array of bows that did not clearly come in this time. Other weapons were there as well, and even a Fire BattleStaff was stuck randomly into the wall. There was something common about all these weapons and bows. They all glowed. "Very well done Simon," Andrew said. "You've really out done yourself. I'll get you a couple more points for your resume. You may leave now." "Thanks Andrew, the pleasure is all mine." Simon grinned. With those words, he whipped out a few runes, muttered words Van couldn't hear, and teleported. "All right then. Van, allow me to explain if you please." Muted with awe, Van nodded. "I assigned Simon to creating a weapon that would be able to combat both monsters and virus monsters with ease," Andrew explained. "They have many special powers that I personally installed into them. Allow me to demonstrate the power of the staff you see before you." Andrew walked camly towards the weapons, and selected a glowing blue staff. With two whistles, a Kalphite Queen appeared in this air. Without consideration, it clicked it's pincers, and charged towards Andrew. Raising the staff above his head, he roared and ran towards his captor. Striking the spider monster with his staff, the Kalphite Queen froze. Physically and mentally. "Time has been frozen in it, " Andrew explained as he continue to beat up the spider. "Each monster is a seperate program, really. The staff has frozen that program, in doing so, so has the monster in this game. This works only with virus monsters though." "That is only one specific power of this special. . .staff," Andrew said. "I will give you and your best friends weapons to counter these monsters. Our fate how we live depends on you. Don't mess it up." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barfbag Posted February 19, 2005 Author Share Posted February 19, 2005 Very nice, Devilkiller! Your taking the story farther than I ever thought I could! This is somthing I'll be reading. :D To stand in the valley of death is one thing, to not have been able to stop the chaos is another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Origin Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 A ruling story, this is cool, i ignored the(little)grammar mistakes, but u don't watch that while writing fiction(i do it too^^)Keep going on!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 I want happy customers, but I don't feel like typing today. But there's nothing else to do, so I might as well. It's not too big today. New Isle, Arsgarnia. Mimi woke up lying on her back. Pain was etched all over her spine. She wasn't used to experiencing physical discomfort everytime she even woke up. There had been a few times Tweak made a joke that would make others laugh, but hurt her feelings hard, then she would give the double axe into his face. But actual body pain was something else. There was always food to do the job of healing. And some praying no doubt. The first thing to do as she learned in Academy of Warriors and Archers is to check for danger. She took a quick glance around her. Nothing harmful. Then something caught her attention. A glowing Battle Axe. Her memory strayed across some man, with a Rune Scimitar that glowed red. Then some guy called Monkey. A big ball. Earth Wave. It took her some time to regain her strength and memory. When she finished, she knew what to do. Dragging herself across the ground, she inched foward to the battle axe. Her teacher taught her not to touch unknown things if she didn't know what it was, but action was better then politics and rules. She expertly gripped the axe in her hands. A rush of power from the axe flowed from the handle down to her body to her legs. It gave her warmth and even more strength then just lying there about 4 feet away from the weapon. She picked herself up from the ground, groaning with pain. Her bones seemed to creak as she stood up. A stream of pms pratically ran into her head. Her three friends were bombarding her mind with concerning messages. Sieg: Anything happen today? Rose: Any virus problems? Tweak: I'm right behind you. Not, lol. Andrew will pm you shortly. Mod Andrew: Yoohoo? You there Mimpi? A call from the boss of Jejex? This is not good. No doubt he would have inquiries about his new problem of the virus. Mod Andrew: Do a litle skip over to the Falador Castle. I'm waiting there, along with Mod Simon and your friends. Van's out killing more virus monsters. I did him first, so he'd done already. Mimi: Right then..I'll just teleprot over there then...And don't call me Mimpi please. I thoguht you were a nice guy. Mod Andrew: watch your spelliNg. Mimi: Watch your grammar mister. Removing her emergency Falador Teleport runes, she muttered an incantation, and vanished in thin air. Noob #1: Woah! That was an awesome spell! I wanna do that! Noob #2: Must be some level 70 or 80 spell. Let's ask someone! Follow me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Origin Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Hehe, again cool, keep doing the good job! (pls read my fiction too) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 "Call yourself a mage? You can do better then that Tweako!" Sieg shouted as he dodged an Air Strike from his partner. The spell dissapated into thin air, leaving Sieg another chance to fire a volley of arrows. He didn't. Instead he whipped out a knife and threw it at Tweak. It clattered uselss on the ground just as Tweak managed to let another Air Strike push it back. Tweak and Sieg were in the wilderness, right beside the monastery. They were training themselves to counter the virus monsters. A new batch of high-level programs came back after being destroyed, so the two men were training to destroy them. Again. As if it wasn't enoguh to incapitate them once. "I have my ways Sieg! You wanna bet?" Tweak shouted back. He fired about 4 fire waves towards Sieg. Sieg jumped the first one, and ducked the second one. His armour absorbed the impact of the third, but the fourth sent him flying into a tree. "Oooh, that's gotta hurt," Tweak chuckled, as he watch Sieg shake off the leaves. "You'll feel that in the morning." "Shut up," Sieg replied. "I'm not going to go easy on you this time. I had enough, NOW FEEL ME POWER OF THE -" Something in the monastery exploded. Monks and the few tourists that came here for a healing screamed as one side of the monastery fell in. Something clicked in Sieg's head. Something to do with Brother Jerrod... "Tweak! I don't know who's doing that, but delay him from hitting the other side! Jerrod is upstairs still! He'll be killed if that stupid guy blows up the other side!" He frantically shouted. Tweak gave him a salute, and fired an Earth Wave to respond to the unknown building-destroyer. Sieg pratically flew towards the other side of the monastery, pausing to scoop a bucketful of water from the fountain. If the captor decided to send a fire spell, he could be very well roasted for his dinner. Sieg clicmbed up the ladder like a some human-cat hybrid. Years of training his legs and arms allowed him to heave himself right into the top floor of the monastery. Just as he got to the beds, behind him, the ladder was caught by a fire and almost instantly crumbled into ashes. "Jerrod! Where are you? They're gonna blow up this place if you don't move!" Somewhere beyond the chaos, he manage to spy a terrified monk in the rubble. He ran over to him, and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Where's Jerrod!? Talk fast, or we'll die!" The monk was terrified, and terror can sometimes seal the lips. It took several moments for the monk to regain is posture. When he did, he told Sieg that Jerrod was already out of here. "Great..." Sieg muttered. He grabbed the monk by the collar and rushed over to the hole. It was either the building or both of them and the builiding. A fire surrounded the hole, eagerly snapping up anything wooden. It was quite a sight, both terrifying and awesome. But Sieg knew the bucket of water he broguht was the only thing that would help. He dropped the monk, and reached into his mind. All players in this game can hold up to twenty-eight items. But those items can't go into a backpack. Instead, with a quick pop, the item could be stored into a black void. When they needed the item, they simply imagined the item they had with them, and then reach their hands into the backpack. Kind of like Santa's huge poacher's bag. Although he didn't poach. Right now, Sieg neede the bucket of water he swiped from the fountain. He had to try. He heaved all the water towards the hole, in hope of dousing the flame so they could go down. Sieg's body was built for huge brute force, not precise bucket-extingushing. The water missed, going right down the hole, and not even touching a sliver of the wanna-be bonfire. This was not good. Not at all for him. Stupid monks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 It only took moments for Tweak to realise what had just happened. The mage, whoever he was, was pummeling the monastery with constant Earth Waves. The ground kept rising from beneath his feet, into his hands, and away to the monastery. Constantly, faster then Tweak ever saw anyone do. The odds of fighting this guy at a monastery was slim, and he had no intention to do the suicide. Grabbing his Fire Battlestaff from his backpack, he recieved an expected woosh of water on his head. Tweak screamed, with a higher pitch then any other soprano could ever achieve. It shattered a couple of glass windows at the same time, giving a few monks the chance to jump out from the burning monastery. A weird sight. "Whoever you are, I command you to-" Tweak never finished that sentence ever, as the mage sent an insignifact Fire Strike at him. Directed towards his staff, he gasped as his staff melted, then reformed into gold pieces. It was a Low Alchemy spell, not Fire Strike. "YOU FREAKING MAGE!" Tweak screamed. "YOU SPAWN OF ZAMORAK! I WILL PURGE THY EVIL FROM THE PLANET OF RUNESCAPE! YOU'RE GOING DOWN FOO! MARK MY WORDS! THAT BATTLESTAFF COSTED ME A FORTUNE!!!" Tweak screamed again, very much like a possesed demon when it's being tortured. Tweak grabbed his other Air Battlestaff, and sent a Fire Wave directly at him. Without missing the beat, he crouched, and effectivly jumped and flipped over the spell. The wave of fire sent the grass on fire. Tweak quickly sent a Water Wave to counter it. The Mage sent an Earth Bolt to soak up the Water Wave, although enough of it managed to douse the fire. "YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU NEVA TRIED THAT! I'LL INCAPITATE YOU!" Tweak continued, firing another Fire Wave. This time, the mage didn't even try to dodge. The Fire Wave rammed into him full force. Fire exploded from him as fast as a striking snake. The sound of flesh being sizzled could be heard. Smoke billowed from the target with an ominous threat to it. More smoke. The fire became a bonfire, but it didn't seem to catch on the monastery. A dark figure. Tweak couldn't tell what it was. "AAAAAHHH!" Tweak screamed. The figure he had demolished before walked slowly, but steadly out of the burning inferno. He had been not affected at all at the very least. At the very most, fire was his playtoy, his friend, his slave. Then Tweak noticed something. The word MANGUS was etched over his entire body. Wait, body...he wasn't a human. It was the demon. The one Van had described to him. This was gonna become rough. Mentally activating Protect Against Magic, Tweak let an Air Wave loose. The Air Wave cut right in two, passing on the sides of the demon, who griined and continued to advence menacingly towards Tweak. Mod Simon: Behind you! New battlestaff! No worries, it won't kill you. Use it!! Whipping his entire figure around, he couldn't hold back a gasp. In it's never-seen-before glory, his Fire BattleStaff was back, ready to pump some more fire into the demon. He looked back again, staring at the spot his Fire BattleStaff had been alchmied. The gold pieces were still there. Huh? Mod Simon: He's coming! Keep him off, i'm gonig to join the action soon! Tweak: Right on, bos'n! Grabbing his new staff, he decided to experiment before attempting to attack on this demon. Twirling it above his head, he rammed the staff's round head into MANGUS. A fire spread from the top of the staff, and engulfed the demon. Mod Simon: The Hercules Factor. Remember how he died? Tweak: I have no time for stupid Greek stories at this time! Are you here yet? Mod Simon: Behind you, ready to pump some rather dangerous chemicals into a black friend. What will happen to Tweak and his friends? Find out on our next Episode of The Legend of The Virus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 Bring Up My Post. Does anyone even read this? Cuz if not, I'm ditching this. :evil: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjb21 Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 i like it and read it but its your choice. but theres no need to use up your effort just for me. 100% my own work, i make my own brushes: set 1 set 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilKiller Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Lol....i'll get to work on my next post...but not right now though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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