Eyes of a Warrior. Edit verison-Chapter three now up!

Decided to change this into my official thread. I fixed a lot of things in 1 and 2 so you may want to reread.

Chapter 1:

The Shadow Dragons

"Fight me, Jamie, if you dare!" I screamed and drew my sword from it's sheath. I pointed my shining mithral blade towards him and gripped the handle tightly. Sweat was trickling down my forehead and anger pulsed through my body. My heart was racing, I was both exited and scared as Jamie reached back and grasped his battle axe.

"If you wish to fight me, then so be it." Jamie yelled pulling his axe out in front of him. It was well crafted, made of steel, but was also used. Knicks and [racist term]s in the edges could be seen clearly, not a dull blade, but not at full potential. I looked down at my own shining blade, new and of a stronger metal, light and powerful. I had the advantage, but Jamie is more powerful and skilled then myself.

I took a fighting stance, blade outward, my feet planted into the rough ground. The thick forest allowed little patches of light to shine through, but it was bright enough to see clearly. A perfect battleground, mid-Autumn, in the middle of no where. I was still breathing heavily and sweating, but I held my sword tight and charged forward.

Anger surged through my veins, adrenaline level rising. My own friend, enemy in a fight, no longer training together, but a fight to the death. Time seemed to stand nearly motionless, like I was watching my own body heading towards Jamie, sword now swinging to the side to prepare for a blow. I can still remember when we were only children, pretending to be fighters, using branches as swords. Another step.

Jamie, motionless for the moment, like waiting to endure the blow. A mere ten feet away now, and approaching. Jamie, how could he, my friend, his friend. I tightened my grip on the blade, a gust of wind rushing past, blowing dead leaves across our forest set arena. Another step, less then nine feet.

Regret, I could sense it, illuminating from Jamie, remorse, I tried to pay no attention, and Jamie moved. His eyes, to the ground, staring with no attention to the outside world, deep thought, transitive. Another step. With a breath I began to swing my sword, now picturing myself, a branch in hand; Jamie with one as well, smiling, true happiness.

Life, so simple, our biggest worries were what chores would be addressed to us as we returned home from a day of fun in the forest, the fields, the lakes, or where ever our imaginations could take us. Regret with every hour that passed for the sunlight was closer to its end for that day.

All of us, not just Jamie and myself; Marc, smart and funny, an optimist. Thomas, a little troubled, but a big heart and cheerful spirit and willing. Another step, sword now beginning to swing, Jamie's eyes raise up, as does his axe. Shadow, smart, tall, and strong. Jessie, anger issues, but a great guy at heart. Ben, short and not very strong, but smart with a great sense of humor, always fun to be with. Another step, Jamie's axe still rising, my sword still swinging, ready to clash. Sean, short and comedic, not the brightest but with good intentions. The final step.

A strong wind, a clash of metal ringing through out the forest. Birds scatter from the trees in shock. I look at Jamie axe held tight in his hands, my sword, against its blade. I struggle to push forward, but to no avail. Jamie, the stronger between us two was able to withhold. Surprisingly, no emotions could be seen within his eyes, blank, lifeless.

I jumped away from Jamie, sword at a defensive position. He made no attempt to strike, only stare.... I began to lower my sword, but denied my arms the privilege. Jamie on the other hand did lower his weapon. I was not one to be fooled though, and charged in for a second attack. Sword, branch of an old tree, high over head.

Jamie pulled his axe to a defensive stance and my sword struck the edge of his blade. Sparks flew and Jamie quickly leapt away from me. I jumped to the side and tried a quick attack. Jamie's axe was too heavy to fully resist the blow and he was knocked off balance and on to the forest floor.

The sun was cast in shadow by the trees, darkness poured over Jamie's body, and my own. Leaves crunched beneath my feet and I walked towards him, sword pointed to the ground. I quickly lifted my blade to the sky and brought it down with a powerful swing towards my opponent's chest. Jamie grasped his axe tightly and pulled it in front of him. I hit the steel handle and strained as I tried to force his own axe down upon him.

Unfortunately, Jamie is more powerful and easily threw off my attack. I drew my sword back and stared into his eyes. No fear or remorse anymore, you could feel his power just by looking into his eyes. I have an uncanny ability; to read eyes, know what a person feels. Eyes don't lie, you could see death in his pupils, blood stains in his conscious. My own friend, Jamie, but after what he did, I wanted him dead.

Only yesterday I had witnessed Jamie slaughtering his and my own friend Sean. I knew, but hadn't told Jamie, and now I wished to avenge Sean's death. Jamie, a killer, I never would have thought, or knew if my own eyes had not seen the massacre.

I shook off the sickening feeling and swung down at Jamie once again. He rolled to the left and my sword struck the ground with a tremendous force. "Why Jamie?" I yelled pulling my sword up out of the ground. "Why would you kill him, he was your friend!" Tears of anger were forming at the brims of my eyes, blurring my vision and thoughts.

"You don't understand Steven, I had a reason!" Jamie said as he leapt up to his feet, leaving his axe on the ground. "You must understand, Sean betrayed me, and my family, he killed my brother!" Jamie grabbed me by the shoulders, "You must believe me, he was in a corrupted clan, Steven."

"Why should I believe you?" I asked, putting my sword upon Jamie's throat. "He's dead, I can't ask for the truth!" I could see blood forming on the blade of my sword. My heart was pounding harder then ever now, I couldn't contain my confusion, disorientation was filling my body as mixed emotions processed in my mind, which to believe? I saw Jamie with my own eyes, but he may be telling the truth.

"Steven, please, I swear I had to do it. It hurt me as much as you, but Sean wasn't himself anymore. He was like a zombie, he would have slaughtered me if I hadn't killed him first!" I stared into Jamie's dark blue eyes. They were wide with despair, truthful eyes, not those of a murderer. Tears were now beginning to roll down his face, it had been many years since I had seen him cry, and he has a high tolerance for pain, emotional tears. I pulled my sword away from him.

I stared into his eyes. "Jamie, you know how to prove it to me! You know what you need to do!" I yelled putting my sword to his throat. He knew what he needed to do and he did.

He lowered his eyelids a bit, thinking hard. I began to see an image, Jamie and his brother Joey. They are walking down the back alleys of town. There was Sean; he stepped from around the side of a building, no not Sean. That was not the Sean I know, he was very pale ghost white, his eyes glossy as well. He had a twisted smile and his mace down to his side.

He looked mad, at Jamie? Why? Jamie took a step toward Sean, but Sean just stood there, staring at....not Jamie, Joey. "What is wrong Sean, you look sick." Jamie said, concern in his voice. Sean was shaking violently and began to raise his mace.

"Jamie, he has to die, he has to, and you too!" Sean screeched, but no one around to here him, alley abandoned. Sean shifted his gaze to Jamie, "the lord Hyrocyte says you must die Jamie, you are a threat!" Sean took a step forward, mace now raised to battle stance. He was still shaking violently, possessed it seemed. His eyes now rolling around his head, like he was losing his mind.

"Sean, I have to get you to the hospital, you're not well." Jamie said now taking a step back, hand on his axe handle. "Joey looked very frightened, still inexperienced and being trained by Jamie. A rather strong monk, Joey was, everyone knew he would take after his brother; looked just like him. "Joey, get going, now! Run home, I'll handle it!" Jamie turned and screamed.

Sean had the first strike though, pulling out a rusty poisoned dagger and tossing it powerfully at Joey as he turned to run. The blade hit him square in the back, possibly striking his spine. He gave a gasp for breath and fell to the ground, not yet dead, but unconscious; poison seeping through his blood stream now. Jamie turned, eyes wide with fear and pain, and stared at his dying brother. "Your next Jamie." Sean said in a hoarse whisper, just loud enough for him to hear.

Jamie looked back towards Sean who was now a mere ten feet away. Jamie pulled the dagger from Joey's back and tossed it towards Sean, but it was blocked by his shield. Jamie tore off Joey's shirt and wrapped it around the wound, Sean still approaching. "Jaaaaamie.... I'm coming." Sean said, a voice not of this world.

Jamie quickly scooped up his brother and began running down the alley, away from this possessed "Sean." He exited the alleyway and looked to the left, the hospital. The dream faded away momentarily, and when it came back to view Joey was lying on a medical cot, dead. Jamie was kneeled down beside the cot, crying, "I will kill you Sean, you will die!" He screamed out in pain. "I swear I will for you Joey, I love you; rest easy." Jamie leaned forward and kissed Joey on the forehead.

The vision was over, I was looking at Jamie, with tears forming in his eyes. I pulled my sword away immediately. "Jamie, I....I didn't know, I'm so sorry." I truly was, now that I had seen what Jamie had, his motives were clear.

"I feel the pain too Steven, I will miss him dearly, and on a daily basis. He was a great man, a true friend; corrupted at his prime, so unfair, life." I could tell he was devastated as much as I was, and I felt regret for attacking him.

"Jamie, I truly am sorry, I misjudged your reasoning. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, pain fogged my thought process. Sean... gone forever." I wiped tears away from my eyes and stood straight, trying to contain my emotions.

"It's okay Steven, I know it hurts, but we have a problem. This clan is becoming more powerful by the day, a religion of its own inside it. We have to take action before they are too powerful. A full scale raid won't work." I looked at Jamie a bit confused, his eyes were to the ground though. "Their fortress in the west is very powerful, guard numbers exceed four hundred."

"Four hundred warriors is not enough to resist the forces of Sirith, four thousand isn't. Our armies numbers are in the low-thousands in the town alone. Others scattered across the land, a great naval and land force."

"Not enough." Jamie replied confidently.

"You said four hundred guards, our skilled knights, archers, and mages can handle those forces with most ease." I said, actually wanting to laugh at the remark.

"They have a type of sorcery that is at the level of gods. These guards are summoned creatures of a very powerful necromancer assassin. Special though, they need no one to control them, act as their master tells them. He goes by the name of Hyrocyte. The human defenses are within the castle and scattered about the towns, numbers in the low thousands as well. Our target is souly Hyrocyte though."

"How powerful are these summoned creatures if they can hold off an entire army?" I said in amazement.

"They have the power of a dragon, and many of their features. Thus the name of the clan is Shadow Dragons. These warrior beasts stand at about ten feet tall, teeth of a dragon, strength of a dragon, wings of a dragon, and the intellectual level of a dragon, or perhaps surpassing. Able to see in the dark as well as in the day, eyes, cold as steel. Children are powerful, but their strength nearly quadruples as an adult, and they gain the ability to breathe fire. A flaw though... A single dragon warrior is nearly ten times as powerful as myself. They have bad hearing though, which is why I suggest a small scale stealth invasion."

Jamie looked a bit frightened now. "The members......the lure of the clan is greatly powerful. They become obsessed with ultimate power, domination, and immolation. They stop acting themselves; some kill themselves, driven to insanity in the presence of loved ones. Even the most powerful of minds can be drawn over; with your gift you are not even safe."

Jamie dropped the rag from his neck and continued. "They are planning a raid soon; starting with the villages immediately outside the fortress. Sirith would be reached within a few weeks. Our spy claims the raids will begin in ten days, we must act before then."

"I know the perfect team to take on the job. The top warriors of the land." I said smiling and sheathing my sword.

"You donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t mean....." Jamie said putting away his axe.

"Yes I do, the Holy Dragon Allegiance! We can get the old team back together; we were the best around after all. Together, with our variety of skills and tactics, we may be able to take down Hyrocyte."

"Yeah, that sounds great. Me, you, Marc, Shadow, Thomas, Jessie, and Ben." Jamie said very excited.

"I never did ask, how did you get all this information?"

"The high council of Sirith suggested a spy. He retrieved the information I have relayed to you and was then converted to the Shadow Dragons. He was a brave and powerful soldier, but the pull of the Shadow Dragons is stronger."

"I know the location of Thomas, he is my cousin after all, and Shadow is just a few miles north of Thomas's residence."

"Marc and Ben live in town, and Jessie is a few miles to the north of town." Jamie said pointing in the direction he was speaking of.

"We will plan our journey for two days from now, that should be sufficient. You inform Thomas and Shadow. I will inform Jessie, Ben, and Marc. We can meet in the town square at noon tomorrow."

"Okay, best of luck Jamie. I will have to be off to find Thomas, it's been a few days since my last visit, he is a very powerful summoner, his dad trained him well.....He died recently though." I said mounting my horse.

"Best of luck to you as well, until we meet again, God's speed." Jamie said and took off sprinting to the northwest.

Chapter 2:

Encounters with Sarah

I took off in a northeast direction, riding my horse Drake. I was excited, and a bit nervous. The sun seemed to be setting faster then usual. I reached home soon enough though. It seemed lonely with the sun setting in the distance, placid, almost abandoned. The house was rather old, my father had build it. The shadows poured down upon me, setting an eclipse in the front yard, though not much light shone over the horizon.

"Home at last, Drake." I sat patting him on the side once I had jumped down from his back. "I'll put you in your stable and grab your blanket, getting rather cold tonight." I smiled and walked Drake around the house to his home, the stables. Coasting him along by holding his reigns I got him to go inside. I put some fresh hay down for him and tossed the heavy woolen blanket sitting on the railing over his back. "There you go Drake, good night."

I started for the front of the house, but stopped, the sunset catching my eyes. I turned and gazed into the dazzling array of colors. Pink and gold fading into the horizon, orange skies edging that. Clouds scattered about the sky, not rain hazards yet, just scenery.

I sat down on the ground, regretting it upon impact. The ground was cold, I suspected a frost overnight. An icy coating covering the plants, houses, roads, forests, the power of nature. A harsh yet beautiful mistress.

Forgetting the cold, I placed my hands behind my head and lay back on the ground. Icy, but soft, the sun sinking fast before my eyes. It had been a rough few days, I need to relax more, or so everyone tells me. I just go about my life the way I wish, sometimes that is not a wise trait either.

"Steven, is that you?" I could hear a woman's voice, familiar, heavenly and sweet. I tilted my head back, Sarah, but what was she doing here?

"Yes?" I said just smiling at the irony. This must be important, I didn't mind though. She doesn't know I'm head over heels for her, I plan to tell her someday, but not until the correct moment. She is radiant: long brown hair, a nice figure, luscious dark red lips, athletic, with great legs. She had a sweet voice and soothing. A great personality, a good sense of humor and rather comedic herself, an intelligent mind, and a very giving and caring heart. She was wearing a light blue dress, and a shawl to keep her a bit warmer. Hair let down, reaching to about the center of her back. Still she looked cold. She was, perfect, in my eyes at least.

Her eyes, her most mesmerizing attribute. Green but fading brown towards her pupil, changing with the degree of light from dark to light. Large eyes, I can't take my own eyes off them when I speak to her. Giving off a glow or, or so it seems, which I only see in people I truly care for. So full of life, white fires burning, eyes of the one I love.

"Steven, I....I need to talk to you please. I'm sorry if I'm intruding but I really need someone." She said with great sorrow, eyes to the ground. No longer projecting that ever luminous glow, shadowing my heart. I figured it must be serious and rose to my feet.

"Quite all right, I was just gazing, pondering.... It's getting cold though, shall we go inside?" I brushed off my body, trying to remove any grass that may have become stuck to me while lying. She forced a smile, still saddened by something. She walked down the stone path and towards my home, I waited for her to arrive at the door, then opened it and stepped inside.

Strong oak wood for walls, a fireplace to the right, kitchen on the left, myself standing in the den. Wooden table and chairs in the kitchen, and a few cushions and chairs around the fireplace. Shelves and decorations about the den, not many though. My bedroom though a door by the fireplace, close, so it stays warm.

The fireplace still had a few flames, dying quickly. The house was warmer then outside, but not quite cozy. "One moment." I said and walked over to the fireplace, tossing a few logs on the fire. "Hopefully it will warm up a bit soon."

I took a seat in front of the fire and signaled her to come sit across from me. She took a seat next to me instead, laying her head on my shoulder. My heart began to pulse a bit faster, her presence was nice, her body heat warmer than the fire. "So what do you need to talk about Sarah?"

"My father, he joined a clan, I'm worried. I've heard bad things about them. He is never home anymore, and when he is, he's not himself." She was beginning to cry and I knew exactly what clan she was speaking of.

"Shadow Dragons..... This will not stand." I whispered, rather to myself than to Sarah. I clenched my fists in anger, closed my eyes. I could still see the fire's light shining; with my eyes closed my other senses get much sharper, instantly though. I could feel Sarah's heart pulsing, as well as my own. I don't want to see her hurt, something must be done.

"Steven, are you all right?" Sarah said, shaking me, with a bit of worry in her voice.

I snapped my eyes open and glanced over at her. "Fine, Sarah, the clan your father has joined, is it called the Shadow Dragons?" I knew the answer but needed to ask anyway. Hear it from her, just so my heart would believe what my mind already knew.

"Yes, how did you know that?" She asked, sounding even more worried now, eyes growing larger, beautiful eyes.

"I....well the truth is....." I took a breath; it was hard to tell her the truth. "The clan, is corrupt. They are growing larger, more members joining, becoming entranced be the lure of the power. Your father, if it is too late, may not ever be himself again, or at least not while the clan is still together." I took a breath and looked away from her eyes tightly closed, I didn't want to see her expression.

"No....please, no." Her crying, as painful to me as herself, though she does not know it. "Not my father." She said through a sob. Her cries were muffled as she put her face into her hands.

I clenched my fist tighter, "it will be okay Sarah. My friends and I are going to stop them, a week from today we march for their stronghold in the west. We will kill their leader, bring peace back to the land, I swear I will, for you."

I felt her hand take hold of my own. I opened my eyes, looked down and saw our fingers entwined. I then shifted my gaze to her face, tears at the brims of her eyes, but a smile. I looked into her pretty eyes and began to see her memories.

She was at home, reading a book, though I'm not sure which. The door swung open and slammed outside wall with a loud thud. It was Sarah's father, he looked..... Almost like Sean. The possessed stare, not really looking at anything, but through it. He was shaking as well, not as badly as Sean, but shaking none-the-less.

Sarah closed the book and sat it on the table, smiling, but worried. "Father your finally back from your journey!" Sarah said standing and then spread her arms to embrace him in a hug. Her father didn't even move though, just stared. "Father..." Sarah said now dropping her arms down to her sides, stepping forward. She sounded worried, and hurt.

Sarah walked up to him, "father, are you okay?" Sarah said and put a hand on his forehead to see if his head felt warm. He finally shifted his gaze to Sarah, anger, much like Sean. He grabbed Sarah's wrist and pulled it away from him. "Dad, your hurting me!" Sarah cried out trying to struggle free.

"Don't you ever touch me!" He screamed and shoved her back; she stumbled and fell to the floor. Her father just stood staring, and an idea came to me. I had never attempted something of this level, but it was worth a try, for Sarah.

I tried to get a fix on her father's eyes; maybe I could read his thoughts through a memory. It seemed crazy, but I had to at least try. Sarah looked around, not really focusing on anything, then finally a hurt look at her father, my one chance.

An odd sensation came over my body and all went black. This was not midnight or pitch black, but a level of dark intensity no words could describe. Cold swept over me, it felt as if small icicles were prodding into my flesh from all sides. There was nothing here though; his mind was dark, cold. Then a flash of thought, less then a second I could see the image, a corpse.

I shuttered and felt as if more ice was stabbing into me, running through my blood. Painfully cold, the dark was enough to drive one mad. Utter silence, how could a person's thoughts consist of nothing but darkness? Is this clan truly as terrible as Jamie claims, worse? Another flash of memory, what I assumed was a shadow dragon. All I could really remember afterward were those eyes.

Dark steely cold, worse then the intense freezing taking hold of my body now. Pain was written as clear as day in their eyes, but a desire to kill with it. A creature that has the want and need to kill, but a guilt and regret of doing so? Perhaps the creature is not perfect, a conscience mind to give it a freedom of emotion from the actions performed.

After this vision, colder still. I could feel myself getting dizzy; I knew I was near fainting. The darkness, somehow, seemed to grow even darker still, not of this or any world. The pain was so intense, I tried to focus on Sarah, hold out just a bit longer. The worst and final vision came at this time.

A man with a staff held high above his head in both hands. Laughing as a village lat slaughtered before him. Happiness consumed his thoughts, overjoyed at his show of power to the innocents. Robes with many symbols unknown to me, crossed his arms, chest, and legs. A shadow dragon like shape in black on his chest was somehow intimidating.

His staff was like none I had ever seen. Nearly six feet in length, jewels embedded all throughout its handle. Topaz, emerald, ruby, diamond, jade, sapphire, garnet, amethyst, and one I could not identify, darker then a rubies red, blood red. Many unique designs and symbols laced throughout, up to the tip where three heads curved out at perpendicular angles, and a large [bleep]e out the back on the remaining side.

One of the heads was a dragon, mouth open for attack. Many staffs are made with a dragon essence, but never with three. The second creature was a snake, large fangs showing clearly, tongue lightly protruding from its mouth. The snake, also common, very powerful wizards can combine both snake and dragon essences into a single staff.

The third was a shadow dragon. Though much like the dragon it was different in many small details. Snout a bit longer, with smaller but more numerous teeth, the two main fangs longer then those of a dragon though. The was an odd flap of skin folded down from the roof of the shadow dragons mouth. Two slits in the skins, nothing a dragon had. The eyes were larger then a dragons, horns a top the head smaller.

Hyrocyte himself seemed more like a fighter then a mage. He had large biceps, and chest stuck out due to muscle. His legs were covered completely by robes but I'm sure he didn't lack in that department either. He also wore a helmet that covered all but his eyes, a shadow dragon head crafted upon it as well. He seemed very fearful, his maniacal laugh, and from the death of others.

I did not recognize the village, small, but at least twenty people dead in the catastrophe. Homes on fire and smoke rising from burning fields in the background. Children, men, and women all dead, he spared none. It was a bloody massacre that would bring torment to anyone laying eyes on it. Some of the men had weapons at their sides or feet, it apparently did them no good.

There was one thing I couldn't understand. Sarah's father was there to be seeing this, so he may have helped Hyrocyte do his bidding. I know Sarah's father, he is a good, hard working man. Though there was no denying it, he had to have been there. To not try to stop it is an insult to courage, manhood, and life in general.... even the children dead.....

When this rather long vision passed I could no longer accept the pain. I don't think any man could. I closed my eyes, reopened them. I could see the fireplace, now burning strong. I turned and saw Sarah, she looked frightened and disoriented. I heard my own teeth chatter, my arms felt like weights, and breathing was painful. The worse pain was in my eyes, I fell forward and passed out.

I looked up, not yet realizing what had happened. I saw the ceiling of my bedroom, a blanket tossed over my body, pillow under my head. My head hurt badly. "Sarah...." I muttered without even realizing it. My eyes, stung like sand had been poured into them. I rubbed them but the feeling remained.

I rubbed them again, like I could wipe off pain, instinct. I looked at my hands, blood covered them. I began to panic. I wiped my eyes with the clean back of my hand, blood afterward, smeared across. I stood and stumbled out of the room, legs like rubber. I could see clearly, but the blood.

I saw Sarah lying on the floor, blanket covering her, in front of the fire. I must have woke her for she began to move. I didn't want her to see me like this, and headed for the door.

"How are your eyes?" I heard her heavenly voice ask. I turned to face her in shame. "Still the same. You've been bleeding from your eyes in your sleep, whispering my name. You looked at me last night and I almost passed out, then you did before I could. I was thinking of my father, it's like you took in my pain. Now it doesn't hurt as much, to think about him."

"My eyes, they have always seen further than they should, into people's thoughts. That has never happened before though. I'm so confused." My eyes still stung, my mind ached, heart burning.

"Come sit with me, please." Sarah said, and waved to me, much like I had the preceding night. Without thinking I found my way over to her and sat down. "Does it hurt, your eyes were a pretty blue before, now blood red."

"It hurts me emotionally more then physically, if you understand that, I feel pain in my heart." She took my hand again and I made it a point not to make eye contact. I thought back to what I had seen, the massacre. I knew I had to stop him at all costs, or that would be my town burning.

"I'm sorry, it feels like it's my fault. Here." She held up a damp cloth, some blood on it already, she must have been wiping my eyes while I slept. "Keep them open if you can." She pressed the cloth to my eyes, it felt soothing. She pressed down lightly and pulled back, like she might have hurt me.

"It's okay, it doesn't hurt any." I was looking into her eyes and quickly turned my attention away. I didn't want to see more of that chaos, or hurt Sarah.

"You're not going to hurt me by looking at me. You can't hurt someone you care about can you?" I was afraid to glance over but I could tell she was smiling.

"How do you know that I have feelings for you?" I said a bit embarrassed. Still not daring to look up, these cursed blood eyes. I had never told Sarah about my gift, only my family and the Holy Dragon members. I was afraid people would judge me, fear me, not want to even know me.

"You said it in your sleep. I just happened to be around to hear it." She was giggling, but stopped abruptly. I could feel her growing closer. "Look at me, please." Her voice, luring, I gave in and gazed into her eyes; happiness, a bit of worry, and another unmistakable emotion, love. We kissed, the pain in me drained away with the touch of her lips to my own.

I was overcome with my own emotions, my love for Sarah. Emotions that you want to, and may, last forever. I had never had a feeling like it before. The kiss ended and we embraced one another. I held her close; I wanted to hold her forever, just to be with her. "Sarah...."

I blinked, pain gone. I reached a hand up and rubbed my right eye, but no blood to be seen. I was amazed, how could something like that just go away. "Your eyes, they're back to the way they were." Sarah said excited. I wiped my eyes again, still no blood. I smiled involuntarily her beautiful eyes looking into mine.

"Thank you Sarah, I feel much better now." I rose to my feet, "I would love to stay with you, more than anything else, but I have a mission to fulfill. I need to save your father and countless others. I need to seek out my cousin Thomas, the summoner, and Shadow, the archer. Our combined strengths may be able to stop this evil."

"I see, could you walk me home please?" Sarah said rising to her feet as well. She took hold of my hand. She smiled, that sweet smile of hers, how could I say no.

"I would like that Sarah." I opened the door and walked out into the morning sun, still rather cold. It would be a nice day though, you could tell. If there was a frost it was gone, but dew droplets were still present. The sun was straight ahead of me, blinding, but beautiful.

I never really appreciate things like the morning sun, I'm lucky to live where I do. I live on the out skirts of the greatest town known to this planet, Sirith. Only two houses could be seen from where I stood, and you would have to block the sun to do so. A dirt path led from the gate of my home into town, just under a mile. Trees scattered lightly about the relatively flat land.

On backside of the house was a steep slope that led to mile upon mile of valleys, hills, steams, and even a few mountains. Most areas dense with coniferous trees. Some entirely clear, save a few bushes and shrubs. Animals were abundant and a good source of food out here. The streams are full of fish as well, mainly trout, but some other species as well.

Jamie used to live in the house closest to mine, then Thomas at the next house. Those were the only two I could see, but the rest of my friends had lived on this side of town and it was worth the walk to be together. We would run down to the forest and build forts, find our "weapons" and duke it out. We could even catch some fish with some patience and a sharp stick.

I remember one time we tried to roll down the slope behind my house. It was one of the most fun moments of my childhood, up until we hit the trees. We still kid about that. Somehow Shadow had ended up in a tree.... we were only children and he was stuck there for quite a while.

My best memories were in the hidden valley though, where I found my ability to "read" eyes. Trees formed almost a perfect circle around it. You would just expect it to be a patch of trees, but as soon as you entered it sloped down into a valley. A small pond in the corner where my father and I would catch bullfrogs. That is where he told me all his stories from his childhood, and from his day at work as a palace soldier.

My father was a brave and proud man. He was always my hero; I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. He was always creating something new with my uncle; whether it was a sword or, on one failed occasion, a catapult. I would always be right there with him, watching, helping, or playing with Thomas. My dad taught me all my fighting skills, Thomas and I both have an attack commemorating our fathers. He died fighting, a warrior, as I want to, my hero.....

My older sister, Kayla, went with us sometimes; she seemed to like the frogs more then myself. We weren't afraid to get a bit dirty if it meant a good time was to be had. Kayla, Thomas, Thomas's two sisters, and I would play hide-and-seek down there a lot. Then all of a sudden Kayla began growing further from us and closer to her friends, until finally she moved to another town, that was three years ago.

Then one day at the valley I was talking to Thomas and found I was answering questions before he asked them. He began to get scared, and I knew. It just happened one day, and everyone says my eyes changed color afterward. I found I could read strong emotions currently felt, and current thoughts, very strong memories sometimes shown through, but most things could be suppressed from my visions.

My mother was always very fun, approving and encouraging all the time. My friends and I may have a completely insane idea, but she would just tell us to try our best, and not to be disappointed if we fail. We would work twice as hard just to show her we could, most of the time our plans failed anyway; you cannot train a fish to talk, we learned the hard way, they can't breathe on land either, poor Jeferey.....

My mother and Kayla had a bond as close as mine and my father's. I guess it's just an "we men gotta stick together" thing. She worked as an alchemist, showed Kayla her arts with potions, and how to cook. I would go with her to the market place sometimes; she sold remedies for just about anything you could think of. She had one that was supposed to stop you from getting the plague, one for falling in love, even one for cleaning clothes.

In my teen age years I still spent a lot of my time with my friends. I worked as an apprentice to my father for a while, learning the arts of swordsmanship. Thomas trained the art of summoning under his father. Kayla grew further apart from the family at these times, I missed spending time with her, but I had a very strong bond with my friends. Ben and Jamie also received training from their fathers, but Marc, Jessie, and Shadow had to go into town and find a master.

Before we knew it our childhood dreams were becoming a reality. Life passed too fast for us. We could now fight, not with branches, but with real swords and axes. Jamie and myself always excelled above the others, but they were very powerful. Now, Thomas could kill anyone of us with Quetzalcoatl. We trained everyday, with our fathers or with each other.

Our friendship became very strong and we decided to give ourselves a name. We finally settled on the Holy Dragon Allegiance. We were proud to say we were a Holy Dragon and had symbols crafted on to our armor, my father and uncle did the job nicely.

Though we were best friends we all chose separate skills. I am a swordsman, Jamie a barbarian, Shadow an archer, Thomas a summoner, Ben a ninja, Jessie a gauntlet-wielding brute, and Marc a mage. Sean was a paladin..... These varieties of skills made us stronger though. Whatever someoneÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s weakness was, it was someone elseÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s strength. A balanced system of checks and balances.

I was fourteen years old when I met Sarah. I was selling a few potions in town for my mother while she was sick. Surprisingly, she didn't have a potion to cure it. Sarah asked me for a laziness remedy, yes, my mother made those. She was very nervous when she spoke but gave me eight gold coins, the price my mother sold them for.

Sarah was about to leave when her father came up and introduced us. I was wearing my Holy Dragon chain mail. He came up beside Sarah and said, "look sweetie, it's one of those Holy Dragon boys you like so much." She became a tomato red, and I was probably blushing as well. He introduced his daughter as Sarah, and I introduced myself as Steven.

He left Sarah to talk with me as he went to buy some new fishing equipment. She was incredibly tense at first but she loosened up as we got to talking. Before I knew it an hour had gone by, I hadn't sold a single potion. I was already growing close to Sarah, I liked her personality and she was very pretty, I was always too embarrassed to tell her how I felt though.

I kept in touch with Sarah and we became very good friends. She never really got to acquainted with my other Holy Dragon comrades though, just me. She was very handy with a needle and could create amazing garments. We always traded ideas about what we would do with our lives. She would open the greatest clothes shop in town, and I would be the greatest swordsmen in al the land.

It has been just over five years since that day in the market when I met Sarah. Five years to tell her how I felt, and I didn't even do it on purpose. Now I think, what if I had said something earlier, how would my life be different? I can't turn back time, so make due with what we have. If I could turn back time I would save Sean and my father from death.

I tightened my grip around Sarah's hand. "I waited too long for this day to come. Now that it's here I regret not saying something earlier." I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"I've liked you for a long time Steven; I fell in love with you just a few weeks after we met. I was always just too shy to tell you." She was blushing a bit; I guess she was in the same situation as me. Life can be tricky like that, not sure what's what, even what your own emotions are.

I walked forward, Sarah at my side. She lived rather close to Thomas, so after walking her home I could visit my cousin and explain the situation. The walk back to her house was too fast though. We exchanged conversation as usual, but also told some deeper more secret feelings. We were in love, why not, I planned to spend the rest of my days with her, as I had since age fourteen.

I had never been inside her house, and today would not be the day I would enter. I gave her a goodbye kiss at her doorstep, told her I loved her and had to depart. I had less then two days to get fully prepared for the most important stealth assault of our age.....it's a lot to deal with. She walked inside and closed the door, "I love you." I said again, and turned away.

Chapter 3:

Gathering the Team

I approached Thomas's house only a few minutes later. I walked up to the front door and knocked, I waited a few moments, no answer. "He must be out training." I said out loud. "Good thing I know where he trains."

Thomas lived in town, but was still rather close to the boarders. I walked about a half mile and found the eastern gates of town. Large stone walls surround most of the town, all but the south eastern area I reside in, the slope is too steep for invasion. The gates are all well protected, and there is a guard about every one hundred yards down the wall on constant watch of attack. The guards all know me and opened the large metal gates.

Thomas's favorite training area is a cave just outside of town. We found it one day, long ago. Sometimes went there to see the bats, that was Thomas's first summon, a bat. I guess he feels attached to the place now. I could here the sounds of his creature as soon as I got out of the town. It sounded like Quetzalcoatl, Thomas still can't contain that summon very well, so he trains with him all the time.

I broke away from the road and entered the forest. Trees were not especially dense here, but you could not see the cave from the road. I heard a great screech, followed by a rumble and picked up my pace a bit. Thomas has been known to hurt himself when training, not intentionally, but he does. Everyone tells him he's going to kill himself with those summons in a cave, but he doesn't care.

I approached the entrance and saw Thomas lying on the ground, breathing heavily. "Thomas, you okay?" I asked stepping into the damp cave. It was nice and cool in the cave, so it does make it a good training spot. Drinkable water resided in pools in various places. We have never gone too deep in the cave, for fear of getting lost.

"Steven," Thomas said, then took another deep breath, "what are you doing here?" He rose to his hands and knees and I helped him the rest of the way up. His hair was matted down with sweat, he looked very tired. He almost fell when I released him and had to grab him by the shoulders. "Sorry, I tried to attack with Quetzalcoatl.... I couldn't though.

"You will get it one day Thomas, just keep training like you do.." I told him. He was still breathing heavily but slowly getting back to a normal rate. "On the other hand, we have a new mission."

"About time, the palace hasn't had anything new for us in over two months." Thomas said laughing. He turned his attention to a frog hopping across the cave. Thomas followed the frog with his eyes until it hopped into a pool of water at the other end of the cave. "So what does the king have in mind?"

"Well apparently there is a corrupted clan." "Another one, easy." Thomas interrupted. "Actually this will be our toughest mission yet. Thomas, do not take this clan lightly. Jamie tells me they have creatures called Shadow Dragons that are very powerful. " I filled him in on all the details of the Shadow Dragon clan.

"So these shadow dragons are ten times as powerful as Jamie, that is pretty darn strong. I still don't see how you can make a free willed summon. From what I understand necromancers use remains of a creature to reanimate it under their power. More advanced necromancers can only hold a few creatures at a time. Now you are telling me this Hyrocyte guy has created four hundred free willed summons. He would have to find a corpse to reanimate one too, and I have never heard of such a creature." Thomas said, obviously baffled.

"You know more about this than myself, and to me it seems farfetched. His staff consisted of three essences." I said. "I couldn't believe it when I saw it."

Three! That is such an intense power. I do not see how any mortal being could have any control with three essences!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Like I've said before, your realy good at wrighting. Way better than me. Very good. Keep wrighting, K? :D

Ok, that took a while to write and it was shorter than most chapters.... I kinda got stuck and kept adding to chapter 7, which is now almost complete, lol. Well, here ya go, just some basic info and not action, but u'll probably want to read it to understand some stuff. Enjoy!

Chapter 4:

Preparations for the Journey

"I see the whole team is assembled, the new team that is." Ben said through the layers of dark cloth covering his face. Ben the ninja, short and small, perfect for stealth. He wore chain mail and leather chaps under his ninja outfit for protection in case an enemy does spot him. Wielding two daggers, one steel and rather long, the other mithral, curved, and shorter. His eyes were the only part of his body revealed, but light blue so they really called attention.

"Now we need to gather supplies and get ready for tomorrows journey." Jessie added. He was holding his full helmet in one gauntlet, which were his weapons, mithral gauntlets with small steel [bleep]es on the knuckles. Jessie wore a heavy suit of armor, but fought close combat, so it was needed. Jessie's martial arts skills were excellent and he knew how to kill a man with one blow in over thirty different ways. His armor was all steel, each item with a Holy Dragon symbol upon it. JessieÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s light brown hair was grown out a bit since the last time I had seen him. His eyes a hazel color, rather large too.

"First though, Thomas it is great to see you again. It has been an eternity." Marc said spreading his arms to hug him as Shadow had. Marc was the mage, and a very powerful mage, but short. He had robes and armor under them, much like Thomas, but his staff was very different: an elemental staff. It had five crystals constantly rotating around the head, each representing either fire, earth, water, fire, or lightning, and on its own unique axis. The elements combine and form an attack for Marc; some spells require all five. Those are the most powerful, also the most difficult to cast. Some spells are from the will of the mage, which can be even stronger. Marc had hair the same color as Jessie, but shorter. He had dark brown eyes as well.

"Yes, hello Thomas." Jamie said, now fully armored. His armor resembled my own. No helmet, mithral chain mail and plate legs. He wore a cape, unlike myself, blue with a golden trim. He had his trusty steel battle axe; we were going to have to buy him a new one for this mission. Jamie was a few inches shorter than myself, but he never let his height affect his strength. Black hair and dark brown eyes, Jamie was rather pale though. His face had quite a few freckles, and Jamie had the funniest smile and laugh you could imagine. There was now a small scar on his throat where I cut him yesterday.

"Marc is right though, now is the time to plan. I can get any kind of food and water we need. Shadow and Marc, find us a map of the length from here to the castle, and any other maps we may need. Steven and Thomas, gather sleeping supplies, we will need blankets and tents if possible. Jessie and Ben, you gather anything else we might need, flint and steel for fire, maybe a weapon to cut through thick forest, items like that." Jamie said, addressing each of us with his eyes as he spoke.

We all agreed to meet at the Ol' Sirith Inn in six hours. Thomas and I walked away from the others, who went to find their own supplies. We were forced to weave through the other hundreds of consumers. You can never know where to find the person selling your item, unless the have a store of course, but in this case we were out of luck.

After a few minutes of walking we found ourselves on the other side of the square. "Seems about hopeless, doesn't it?" Thomas asked me, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Yes, it most certainly does." I said and turned around, a sign hanging right at my eye level. "High quality battle axes sold here." I read aloud. "Thomas, what do you say to getting Jamie a little present?" I asked smiling.

"Sure, he could use a new axe, his old one is in terrible condition, but he loves that axe." Thomas shrugged his shoulders and we entered the store. Axes lined the walled and were hung on shelves all across the store. Some older, but cheaper, battle axes sitting on a table just to our right. Bronze, iron, steel, mithral, even wooden.

Some axes with wide blades on both sides of a short handle, others with a longer handle with an average size blade. They had some hatchets and halberds lying around as well. I approached a section of mithral battle axes, examining each one to see which would be best for Jamie. I picked up a double bladed axe with a rather long handle and swung it.

It felt much like swinging Jamie's old axe. The materials were stronger and sharper though. I turned to Thomas, "What do you think, this one right?" I asked and handed the axe to him. He sat his staff against a shelf and swung the axe, barely able to stop it from slamming into the floor though.

"Seems about right for Jamie." He said laughing and handed it back to me. We walked up to the counter and I placed a bag of silver coins upon it. The shopkeeper opened it and smiled.

"Thank you for your purchase, please come again." He said and took the coins into the back room. Thomas and I turned and walked out of the store and back into the constantly bust town square.

"We should have bought this last, now I have to carry it around everywhere." I sighed. Thomas laughed and shook his head as we walked into the ocean of people. "Keep listening Thomas, if you hear tent or blanket tell me."

"You got it." Thomas replied. People seemed to stay a bit further away now that I had a large battle axe over my shoulder, maybe buying the axe first was a good idea.

The noise of the square was giving me a headache; it always did, so I try to stay to the edges. Today was the busiest I had ever seen the square. My mind was pulsing with my heartbeat. It felt as if my brain was attempting to escape from my skull. I could hear thoughts in my head, not intentional, but the strong emotions always shone through to my mind.

I heard Thomas say something, but couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t make out the words; the headache was progressing very rapidly. There were too many people around me, I couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t make out my own thoughts. Where am I? Who am I? I began looking around, the voices were everywhere.

I felt my eyes rolling in their sockets. Were they mine, what am I seeing? I wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t sure of anything. I covered my face and screamed, but heard nothing. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅGet out of my head!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

And the two parts are finally tied. Since I wrote chapter 6 before 5 I will have to edit a lot. I probably won't post chapter 6 for like a week, though it will be done before then. I kinda tried a new style with this at the end. Might be confusing to some, but that was kinda the feeling I was trying to get across :D . It may feel rushed, I think it is a bit, but I also thought it would be dragged if I wrote out all events in the journey. Not sure if anyone reads this story anyway :roll: but for those who do, enjoy!

Chapter 5

On to the Castle

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅWake up Steven, time to go!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Chapter 6

A Deadly Entrance

We were at the edge of the forest, the castle in sight; I could see the large winged creatures, walking erect, like a human, patrolling the area. For the first time I had seen a shadow dragon, but they were at a great distance. The castle dark, an evil presence to it. A large tower in each corner of the rather square structure. The outer wall reaching about one hundred feet in height. Flags, with the clan symbol, blowing from numerous locations, and an especially large one in the center.

A moat was not present; the castle was on a steep slope though. The large metal gates could be seen from our vintage point, many guards nearby. I could not see the full detail of the castle from this distance, but there were most likely holes for archers near the gates and in the towers. Battlements, protruding out of the walls and towers for cover as well.

Hyrocyte knew we were coming, which brought many problems. We debated a number of strategies; each with its own fatal flaw. It seemed that there was no way to conceive a plan that would get us in. Ben finally had an idea; he cleared his throat and began to speak. Here comes the problem....

A rumble of the forest behind us caused me to whip around. Instantly my heart froze, pain. I looked at the creature, not at its wings, claws, or teeth, but into its eyes. Jamie was right, ice cold steel, I felt immobilized but muttered a few words and the others turned around.

The beast was not quite as terrifying as Jamie described. The shadow dragon seemed rather small, maybe six feet when standing upright. Scales covered its entire body, red, except for the yellow spots on its underside. Its wings were tucked back and reached the ground as it stood; now gazing at me. It gave out a low pitched snarl, unlike that of any animal, like a snake, but almost like a dragon as well.

The jaw extended out nearly a foot, mouth full or razor sharp teeth, definitely not a vegetarian. It had its arms down to its sides, almost seemed too long for the body, designed for combat, pure muscle extending down to the hand which had five razor sharp claws, each maybe a quarter of a foot long, but varying in length slightly like fingers of a human. A [bleep]e of bone protruding from the elbow and knee joints. Two longer horns out of its head, a few inches above the eyes.

Its legs were crafted of pure muscle as well. The shadow dragon's tail was wrapped around and resting on the claws of its right foot. Red scales on top, yellow on bottom, and growing thinner until finally ending at a point. The wings were very large, I could tell even though tucked back. Long scaled areas like the tail branched out from a large limb like body part that connected the wing to the creatureÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s upper back. The wing was webbed together with leather like skin, lighter and thinner for flight.

Even though it was smaller it still looked a like a challenging opponent. I would hate to be in the jaws of the beast as the teeth came crunching together. I had a mental image of myself being crushed at the torso between the jaws of the beast, blood oozing from my corpse after the fatal blow. Those large fangs stabbing through my vital organs, crushing lungs and rib cage until slicing me in half. Eyes rolled into the back of my head, only whites showing, gazing lifelessly, and blood steadily streaming from my mouth.

I could almost feel the pain, I clutched my chest, and my throat began to feel like sandpaper until finally I couldn't breathe at all. Still seeing the picture, the shadow dragon released me from its jaws. My body fell to the ground in two halves, and a puddle of blood to go with it. I still couldn't breathe, and my eyes began to roll to the back of my head.

Jamie slammed into me and broke my gaze from its eyes. I was startled but fine. "Can we fight it here Jamie, so close to the castle?" Shadow said as the beast looked from fighter to fighter, as if sizing up our power and abilities, those eyes.

I could breathe again; I knew I shouldn't have looked at its eyes. I couldn't handle it, was the beast actually thinking of doing that to me? Well I'm not about to give him a chance to do so. I drew my sword, "I'm ready for you." I whispered under my breath, directed at the shadow dragon, "Just try and get me."

"No, it would mean the death of us; we must lure it into the forest, and dispose of it." Jamie said drawing his new, but now once used, mithral axe. I saw Marc and Thomas raise their staffs, summoner and mage. Ben pulled out his steel and mithral daggers. Shadow drew a steel arrow and placed it on his yew bow. Jessie clenched his fists through the gauntlets. "Marc, use a spell of some kind, make it unable to communicate with the others." Jamie commanded as he looked back to the castle.

Marc muttered a few words, pointed his staff to the beast. Its instincts were amazing. The shadow dragon began to jump into the air, taking flight. Shadow had a rope now tied to his arrow and fired, hitting the beast's left flank. It was preparing a roar. "Give me a hand guys!" Shadow screamed, holding the end of the rope tight as the slack ran out. The creature was gaining altitude fast.

I ran over and grabbed a section further up the rope, followed by Ben, Jamie, and Jessie. Thomas was beginning to summon a creature. Still we began sliding, Jessie was off the ground. I could here the shadow dragon grunting, struggling to get free. "Why is it not attacking? Jamie said they could breathe fire." I asked myself.

Marc cast the spell and it hit, just in time, for the shadow dragon attempted to let out the roar, but was constricted. It opened its mouth, but no sound came out. "We have to get him deeper into the forest, Thomas, finish the summoning, we need more help." Jessie yelled, now three feet off the ground, and Jamie rising.

Thomas's concentration was not broken, he continued muttering his calling. The staff glowing neon blue, his eyes the same color. His father, he was thinking of him, it hurt but made him stronger at the same time, I saw it in his eyes. Marc had dropped his staff and ran over to grab the rope. "It cannot get out of the trees, all will be lost! If the others know we are all as good as dead!" Jamie screamed, trying to reach his feet back to the earth. Jessie ten feet up....climbing the rope!

Thomas was shaking, and the spirit began to rise out of the ground, in the form of energy for now. A beam of twisted neon blue light pulling it up, Thomas's will. I knew what creature it was, one of Thomas's lesser summons, but the greatest brute strength. Jessie was fifteen feet up, still another twenty to the shadow dragon. Marc was now helping, the beast was still winning the power struggle, but less rapidly.

The spirit of the summon was fully out of the ground now. The normal routine, Thomas says the beastÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s name, "I call upon thee, Minotaur, Guardian of the Labyrinth!" swings his staff through the energy spirit and the beast forms characteristics. The Minotaur slowly yet surely formed to the one we all know, Thomas on the ground now controlling the Minotaur in a trance. Thomas could create these powerful creatures, but we always have to protect him while he does so.

The Minotaur was nearly ten feet tall. It has legs of a bull, upper body of a human, and the head of a bull. Its horns reaching another foot up into the air. You could see his power, muscles bulking out of every area of his body in perfect form. A large ring pieced through its nostrils, eyes pure black. It was still a weak summon, very slow, bad reflexes, dare I say, stupid. It stood upright like a human, hunched over for balance. The Minotaur took a step forward.

Jessie was twenty-five feet up when the Minotaur reached the rope. The beast grabbed on and began to pull the shadow dragon into the forest. The shadow dragon began to struggle more but was no match for our combined strength. The Minotaur pulled the dragon lower to the ground; Thomas was doing well controlling it. "We can beat it." Jamie said confidently, now back on the ground.

Jessie reached the shadow dragon and jumped on its back. It was quick to react though, Jessie could only hold for dear life as the dragon began to dive bomb back towards those of us holding the rope. I let go and drew my sword, Jamie drew his axe. The shadow dragon was nearly to us when it swayed off course and smashed to the ground, scattering leaves and causing the birds to take flight.

Dust flew in all directions, the crash made the ground shake. I hoped the others didn't hear. Jessie had a gauntlet dug into the creature; he twisted and pulled it back out. His arm was covered with thick black oil-like blood; it was trickling down the side of the dragon as well. "It's not dead Jessie, be careful!" Jamie yelled and charged for the shadow dragon. "We have to finish it off, the shadow dragons are more powerful then you think!"

I followed close behind as we headed over to confront it. I thought it was unconscious, I was wrong. Its eyes snapped open as Jamie made it within cutting range. The shadow dragon swung up off the ground and within seconds had Jamie by the throat with Jessie lying on the ground.

I went to make a strike but the shadow dragon used Jamie as a shield and I stopped before I hit. The dragon smashed a foot down on Jessie's chest. He moaned, breath knocked out of him, now wheezing. The Minotaur let go of the rope, as did Shadow, Ben and Marc, the mistake.

The shadow dragon knew it could escape, they really did have sharp minds. It slammed Jamie to the ground, he grunted in pain. It was ready to take flight when Marc's spell hit. An ice flare, square in the back. The beast rolled forward on the forest floor, recovering to its feet quickly. It gave a soundless roar, exposing its razor sharp teeth and forked tongue. Then spread its wings, and with a powerful flap, took off.

The rope, the key, wrapped around Ben's leg. The dragon was in the air and Ben was flipped off his feet, hitting the ground hard. The Minotaur grabbed the rope, power fading; Thomas could not hold a creature for more than ten minutes. Shadow drew another arrow, fired, missed; the beast dodged it narrowly. I was running to take hold of the rope.

"Shadow, we need another!" I screamed looking up the line, seeing it fray and grow thinner with tension growing. Shadow immediately began tying on another rope to a new arrow, but tied one end around a tree, good thinking. "Marc can you make it hold still, even if just for a moment?" The rope was growing thinner, maybe thirty seconds of life left until a snap. Then we would all be dead.

"I can, but he will only be immobilized for a few seconds." He tightened his grip around his staff and began chanting. Marc turned around quickly and took aim. I watched with fear, holding tight, the rope burning my hands as it slid slowly out of my grasp. It was hard to see the dragon, the canopy of the trees so tightly woven that the entire forest was in an eternal night.

It occurred to me, the beast was not even fighting us. It was merely attempting to supply the other shadow dragons with the information of our position. The dragon must have realized it could not fight our combined strength and win. It was the only explanation I could find that fit, unless it was toying with us.

"That's long enough Marc, Shadow get ready for a shot to save our hides!" The rope growing thinner still. "I think we are out of the others line of sight now." Shadow was chasing the beast through the air with his bow, Marc preparing the spell, the rope unraveling, only a few seconds.

The shadow dragon froze in the air as a red star shaped blast hit, a release of a bow string, perfect hit. The arrow pieced the dragon's neck, all the way out the other side. When the shadow dragon began to move again its first action was a spinning fall towards the ground. A large crash into the forest floor and the first rope snapped, Jamie screamed, "No!" The ground shook beneath my feet and I nearly collapsed.

"What is it Jamie?" I was now worried, I figured not even a shadow dragon could withstand two crashes from forty feet, a gauntlet in the back, arrow to the neck and flank. Wrong again, its eyes, the dragon was alive. "Jamie, it isn't dead, I know."

"The others may have heard it falling, they have bad ears, but that was very loud." Jamie was now on his feet. "Kill it now, we have to move fast!" Ben was already on the job, loose from the rope, he had a throwing star out, taking aim. Shadow with a mithral tipped arrow drawn, fired. The beast made a silent roar as the arrow hit its stomach and another when the throwing star pierced its eye.

Not enough. The shadow dragon dug its claws, now on all fours like a normal dragon, wings tucked back; rope and arrow through its neck. Blood everywhere, pouring out of its eye especially, staining the forest floor. The Minotaur was fading back to energy. Ben continued forward and went to stab the dragon, but was thrown into a tree with the quick swipe of a claw. "Marc, don't use a spell that causes an explosion of any kind." Jamie said, limping towards me.

Thomas was up, walking through the forest, frightened. "Steven, the other shadow dragons, I think they know we are here; three of them are heading our way. They are not moving fast though, we may have time to escape, we must go now though!" He was pointing towards the castle, I could barely see the light through the forest now, the Minotaur had pulled the dragon quite a few yards.

"I wish we could, but he have a shadow dragon problem. Marc, set the rope on fire, we will burn the damn thing!" I walked towards it slowly. Saliva dripping from its jaws, showing its large ferocious teeth again. I had my sword at the ready, it was weakened a substantial amount. Marc had the fire going, blue, stronger and hotter then regular fire, with an enchantment to not burn the rope as well. Ben was recovering, rubbing the back of his head, eyes barely visible through his outfit, but they were wide with fear.

Shadow with arrow now on his bow shot at the shadow dragon, into side of its head. You could hear the bone crack when the arrow hit. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅDo whatever it takes to kill it, do so as fast as you can!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Might as well not descripe the chapter, don't think anyone's reading it. Oh well, here it is.

Chapter 7:

Gathering Information

I entered last, a small hallway with suits of armor on both sides, each holding weapons. The one nearest to me was defenseless; Jamie had taken its spear. On the far end of the hall was a set of stairs spiraling downward and upward. Two doors were also near the staircase, on either side of the hallway. Torches lit the way, with enchanted fire that will never burn out, but can be put out.

Ben took initiative and grabbed a battle axe from the hands of a nearby suit of armor. He turned and swung, wedging the axe between the door and the stone wall. We were trapped inside, there was no where to hide. Enemies outside, enemies inside; no turning back. Lives had already been lost, blood has been shed; we will accomplish our goal or die trying.

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅThe odds are against us.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

wow. you wright alot :o. how long does it take to wright a chapter? i would read but i dnt have enough time =(

Yea, I think the fact that it is so long is why no one is reading. It's like 60 pages, give or take a few, so it takes a while to finish.

Doesn't take me very long to write a chapter, maybe a night or two. I just enjoy writing. Ideas just kinda hit me and I gotta write and write, then a new idea hits me and I write some more, lol :D

Its very good. I MAKE time to read it.

Very interesting and exciting story

I have two questions

How long till chapter 8? and

When you finish chapter 8, will it be on a new topic or in this one?

Great story I read chapter 1-3 so far, you usually write very detailed about how area's look, sometimes a bit too detailed, for example almost a while chapter about defeating a bird isn't very interesting. But good job, it must have taken a lot of time.

Sorry for the wait. Had a case of writer's block, not to mention spring break(was barely home the whole week). I finally finished chapter 8. It's kinda short, actually it is very short, but I figured I should cut it off after what happens. Not sure when I will have 9 up. I actually had this done a few days ago but my internet kept screwin up. It is kinda gorey at one point, so bare with me. Gad to see some people reading it now.

Chapter 8:

AssassinÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Art

We rested in that room for the night. Someone on constant guard of both entrances, but we were not attacked. Ben suspected a small hallway on the other side of the door, I agreed. We ate and slept in an area that consisted of no dead bodies. Dreams I couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t remember plagued my mind, leaving me with a headache when I awoke.

I was the first one up the next day. Thomas snoring lightly on the floor next to me, arms folded under his head for comfort. I sat up and looked around; the smell of decaying bodies was already beginning to fill the air, I nearly gagged as I took a breath. The torches were still lit from last night, we made sure to set them ablaze after the battle.

My short sword was still wedged in the door, holding it shut. Shadow was standing, but asleep, dosed off during his shift. I laughed quietly and rose to my feet; I looked over to where Jamie slept, nothing there. I examined the room again quickly, he was gone!

I approached Shadow and woke him. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅDid you see Jamie leave?ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Just so you know, after someone speaks you need to leave a line.

Still, it is a good story! Its better then mine :cry:

http://runevillage.net/ThePub/viewtopic ... cba671bffe

Well, it has been a loonnngg time since I wrote on this or got on the forums at all. Someone sent me a PM askin about EoaW and i decided to add a bit. I got 2 chapters done, both action packed. There should only be 2 more chapters, so i might finish soon, or i might be a while, im not really sure right now. Depends on how much i want to write, or how much my brain can process. School starts on Monday so I'm not sure if i will have anytime. Anyway, here you go!

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Chapter 9:

Confrontation with the Invincible

We rested by MarcÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s body for a while before picking him up and carrying him into a nearby, unoccupied room. Sean had said the prayers when loved ones passed away before, but now we simply looked towards the stone floor in silence. A dark presence filled the room; death could almost be tasted in the air.

I felt like I was breaking apart inside, ripped apart from the heart. I clenched my fist tightly, bit my lip and drew blood to hold back tears and anger. I felt like screaming loudly, challenging Hyrocyte, and kill him as viciously as Marc and Jessie had died.

Jamie was the first to speak, ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅWe . . . have to continue. Marc wouldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t want us to dwell on his death, he would want us to kill Hyrocyte, finish the mission.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Well, i got that done a lot faster than I thought I would. Anyway there will only be 1 more chapter and I will probably have it up Mondayish of next week. Them I'm going to go back and clean and edit the entire story, make it a lot better, fix plot holes and such. This really is just a rough draft but I promise I will make the final version much better. Anyway, enjoy the battle! I tried to make it kinda suspensefull, not as much as I thought it would be, but it will work for now. I will make it better once I edit.

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Chapter 11:

The Final Showdown

I looked over to Hyrocyte, he stared back at me. Hyrocyte slowly brought up his hand; we all stood ready, nervous, but ready to fight. Then with a small motion of his fingers the elite shadow dragons all took to the air and rushed forward.

I held my sword ready to swing but the dragons avoided me and went for the others. I looked to my left and saw Jamie block a slashing claw with his axe, then roll to the right to dodge a burst of flame. Thomas was also blocking a set of claws with both sword and staff. To my right Ben was dodging a set of vicious jaws, leaping and flipping so that even the shadow dragon had trouble keeping its eyes locked on. Shadow was trying to stay back and fire arrows, but the dragon was so fast he could only really run.

I sensed something in the air and turned back to Hyrocyte. He was charging at me with sword over head, only a few yards away. I barely had time to react and draw up my sword, our blades crashing together in a shower of sparks. I pulled back my sword and spun with a slash but Hyrocyte blocked and kicked. I jumped back and his boot barely grazed me, but his sword came down again right after.

I could barely fight without using my left hand as well, but I managed to hold my ground. After a few more attacks and parries of our blades Ben flipped over us, practically invisible and dropped an explosive at HyrocyteÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s feet. An elite shadow dragon then soared over head and as it passed attempted to slash me across the face.

I jumped back to dodge the attack and fell to the ground. Hyrocyte laughed for a moment, but stopped abruptly. He looked down and saw BenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s bomb, there was no time to dodge and he barely had time to cross his arms across his chest. There was a loud explosion and Hyrocyte went flying backwards and landed on his chest ten yards back.

A few gasps came from the soldiers in the crowd, but they turned to cheers as Hyrocyte rose to his feet, brushing dirt off himself. I rose to my feet as well. Hyrocyte laughed and jumped into the air, very high into the air. I looked up; he had his sword overhead and brought it down as he approached me. I jumped to the side as Hyrocyte crashed into the ground, cracking the floor all around into small sections.

Hyrocyte had his sword stabbed into the ground. I stood with my sword at the ready, waiting for him to move. Finally he turned and looked at me, then brought his sword slicing out of the ground in my direction. Tiny shards of stone hurled into the air and flew right for me, very quickly, faster than they should have.

Hyrocyte laughed and brought his hand forward towards me. The shards picked up even greater speed and I jumped to dodge, but they changed course as I did. I decided to block, but there were so many, at least a hundred. I slashed with all my strength and created a wave of wind similar to what Jamie produced in the other room.

Most of the shards were thrown back or destroyed completely, but a few survived the attack and I was struck in the left leg and chest, as well as my injured arm. The shards did not pierce my armor but were very painful as they shattered against it with a great force.

I cringed as pain swept through my body, but I kept my composure. I stood ready and went in for another attack. Hyrocyte laughed and grabbed his sword with both hands, it began to glow. It looked as if he was about to use my lightning and fire sword technique, but he simply split his one sword into another identical one, my opponent now had two weapons.

How could I win, I had only one sword, could only wield one sword. Hyrocyte laughed and swung his first sword downward from overhead. I blocked and he spun and brought down his second. I jumped back and was forced to block again, then rolled as the first sword crashed down again. I attempted to jump to my feet but was struck across the back with one of HyrocyteÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s swords.

I screamed in pain and was slammed to the floor. I heard HyrocyteÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s laugh, followed by his hissing voice, ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅIs that all you have? I thought you were fighting to avenge your comradesÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ death, but you simply lay on the floor, like a weak, pitiful coward. Now I will end your miserable life like the others.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Its a really good story and it really good that its long although I have discovered that people want a story to keep them interested vut not to be to long otherwise it takes to long to read it...

The story is good and as a fellow writer I hate it when I get no input even bad input is better that nothing. Bad inbut is much better some times because good input is 'great story' which tells you nothing

The story is great sirith. You need to work on your spelling and you've missed some words out along the way. You could probably put less into the detail, but not too little. Overall, i give the story an 8.5/10. Keep up the good work!

Bah, and so the long and exhausting rough draft process is over. Now I will began writing a final copy, adding many new ideas, filling a few plot holes, tweaking details and such, while still keeping all of the main story in tact. Should be fun :lol: Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the story, but will enjoy the improved version more.

Chapter 12:

Cemetery of Legends

I opened my eyes slowly, the light of the room was blinding after the long length of darkness I had endured. I shielded my view of the open window and the sunlight pouring in through it with my hand as I sat up. A pain sprang through my chest and I fell back down on to a soft pillow, I was in the hospital, not just any hospital though, the KingÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Hospital in the Castle of Sirith. A smile stretched across my face as I remembered what I had accomplished.

There were bandages all across my chest arms and legs, they must have covered a fourth of my body, I supposed I looked something like a mummy. I heard whispers and looked to the door on my left, the voice slowly grew louder, the soft voice of a women. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅNo, Jamie, he has still not awakened. We are not sure how long it will take for him to come out of this coma, he is lucky to be alive.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Truely cracking stuff, just what do u need to change

And so the edited version begins. Hopefully this can go rather quickly, it is really just some extreme editing. Hopefully you like this way more than the old one, lol. I like it better. If you didn't read the old one you can just start now, too. I will have this one done a lot faster than the other. Anyway, like always, enjoy and feel free to give feedback, i can still change things.

Chapter 1:

A Threat Revealed

"Fight me, Jamie, if you dare!" I screamed and drew my sword from its sheath. I pointed its shining mithral blade towards his chest, gripping the handle tightly. Sweat was trickling down my forehead and anger pulsed through my body. My heart was racing, adrenaline pumping. I was both excited and frightened as Jamie reached back and grasped his battle axe.

"If you wish to fight me, then so be it!" Jamie yelled, pulling his axe out in front of him. It was well crafted, made of steel, but was also used. Knicks and [racist term]s in the edges could be seen clearly, not a dull blade, quite the opposite really, but not at full potential. I looked down at my own shining blade, new and of a stronger metal, light and powerful. I had the advantage of speed, but Jamie is more physically powerful and than myself.

I took a fighting stance, blade outward, my feet planted into the rough ground, leaves crunching beneath my leather boots. Jamie slowly lowered his axe to the ground. The thick forest allowed only small glimmering patches of light to shine through, barely bright enough to see clearly. It was a perfect battleground, mid-Autumn, on the outskirts of town. I was still breathing heavily and sweating, but I held my sword tight and charged forward.

Anger surged through my veins, adrenaline levels still rising, giving me an unnatural strength. My own friend, enemy in a fight, no longer training together, but in a fight, possibly to the death. Time seemed to stand nearly motionless, like I was watching my own body heading towards Jamie, sword now swinging to the side to prepare for a blow. I can still remember when we were only children, pretending to be fighters, using branches as swords, training, growing stronger. Another step.

Jamie, motionless for the moment, like waiting to endure the blow, as repent for his crimes. A mere ten feet away now, and approaching. Jamie, how could he, my friend, his friend. I tightened my grip on the blade, a gust of wind rushing past, blowing dead leaves across our forest set arena. Another step, less then nine feet.

Regret, I could sense it, illuminating from Jamie, remorse, I tried to pay no attention as Jamie moved. His eyes, to the ground, staring with no attention to the outside world, deep thought, transitive. Another step. With a breath I began to swing my sword, now picturing myself, a branch in hand; Jamie with one as well, smiling, true happiness, so many years ago.

Life, so simple, our biggest worries were what chores would be addressed to us as we returned home from a day of fun in the forest, the fields, the lakes, or where ever our imaginations could take us. Regret with every hour that passed for the sunlight was closer to its end for that day. These thoughts rushed my mind in a split second and were gone the next to be filled with another.

All of us, not just Jamie and myself; Marc, smart and funny, an optimist. Thomas, a little troubled, but a big heart and cheerful spirit and willing. Another step, sword now beginning to swing, Jamie's eyes raise up, as does his axe. Shadow, smart, tall, and strong. Jessie, anger issues, but a great guy at heart. Ben, short and not very strong, but smart with a great sense of humor, always fun to be with. Another step, Jamie's axe still rising, my sword still swinging, ready to clash. Sean, short and comedic, not the brightest but with good intentions. The final step.

A strong wind, a clash of metal ringing through out the forest as sword and axe met in a shower of sparks. Birds scatter from the trees in shock. I look at JamieÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s axe held tight in his hands, my sword against its blade. I struggled to push forward, but to no avail. Jamie, the stronger between us and was able to withhold. Surprisingly, no emotions could be seen within his eyes, blank, lifeless.

I jumped away from Jamie, sword at a defensive position. He made no attempt to strike, only stare . . . I began to lower my sword, but denied my arms the privilege. Jamie on the other hand did lower his weapon. I was not one to be fooled though, and charged in for a second attack, sword high over head.

Jamie pulled his axe to a defensive stance at the last possible moment, out of reflex it seemed more than his wanting to do so, and my sword struck the edge of his blade. Sparks flew once again and Jamie quickly leapt away from me. I jumped to the side and tried a quick attack. Jamie's axe was too heavy to fully resist the blow and he was knocked off balance and on to the forest floor.

The sun was cast in shadow by the trees, darkness poured over Jamie's body, and my own. Leaves crunched beneath my feet and I walked towards him, sword pointed to the ground. I quickly lifted my blade to the sky and brought it down with a powerful swing towards my opponent's chest. Jamie grasped his axe tightly and pulled it in front of him. I hit the steel handle and strained as I tried to force his own axe down upon him.

Unfortunately, Jamie is more powerful and easily threw off my attack. I drew my sword back and stared into his eyes. No fear or remorse anymore, you could feel his power just by looking into his eyes. I have an uncanny ability; to read eyes, know what a person feels. Eyes don't lie, you could see death in his pupils, and blood stains in his conscious. My own friend, Jamie, but after what he did, I wanted him dead.

Only yesterday I had witnessed Jamie slaughtering his, and my, own friend Sean. I knew, but hadn't told Jamie, and now I wished to avenge Sean's death. Jamie, a killer, I never would have thought, or knew if my own eyes had not seen the massacre.

I shook off the sickening feeling and swung down at Jamie once again. He rolled to the left and my sword struck the ground with a tremendous force, scattering the leaves as my sword dug into the dirt. I pulled my sword from the ground as Jamie regained footing and swung his axe, he didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t seem to be trying to hit me though.

I still narrowly dodged the axe, then turned and tried my own attack. Jamie leapt back and brought up his axe, the tip of my blade clashing with his. I brought up my leg for a kick but Jamie released a hand from his axe and grabbed me around the ankle. With a powerful pull I was lifted off the ground and thrown on to my back, knocking the breath out of me.

I brought up my other leg and gave Jamie a kick to the stomach, still a bit dizzy from the fall. Jamie coughed and nearly doubled over but reestablished himself and swung his axe down. It was the same predicament Jamie was in just moments ago, only now it was me on the ground and his axe forcing my sword down upon me.

I saw an advantage and took it; I swept my foot to the side and tripped Jamie. He fell hard on his side and his axe landed next to me on the forest floor. I grabbed his weapon and rose to my feet. Jamie looked up at me, fear in his eyes, but I just stared back as he rose to his feet.

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅI may be avenging Sean but this is still a fair fight,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

wow, that was fast. It didn't need much editing at all really, i had edited it earlier too, lol. Dunno how long for part three, not too long hopefully.

Chapter 2:

Encounters with Sarah

I took off in a northeast direction, riding my horse Drake. I was excited, and a bit nervous. The sun seemed to be setting faster than usual. I reached home soon enough though. It seemed lonely with the sun setting in the distance, placid, almost abandoned. The house was rather old, my father had built it. The shadows poured down upon me, setting an eclipse in the front yard, though not much light shone over the horizon.

"Home at last, Drake," I said patting him on the side once I had jumped down from his back. "I'll put you in your stable and grab your blanket, getting rather cold tonight." I smiled and walked Drake around the house to his home, the stables. Coasting him along by holding his reigns I got him to go inside. I put some fresh hay down for him and tossed the heavy woolen blanket sitting on the railing over his back. "There you go Drake, good night."

I started for the front of the house, but stopped, the sunset catching my eyes. I turned and gazed into the dazzling array of colors. Pink and gold fading into the horizon, orange skies edging that. Clouds scattered about the sky, not rain hazards yet, just scenery.

I sat down on the ground, regretting it upon impact. The ground was cold, I suspected a frost overnight. An icy coating covering the plants, houses, roads, forests, the power of nature. A harsh yet beautiful mistress.

Forgetting the cold, I placed my hands behind my head and lay back on the ground. Icy, but soft, the sun sinking fast before my eyes. It had been a rough few days, I need to relax more, or so everyone tells me. I just go about my life the way I wish, sometimes that is not a wise trait either.

"Steven, is that you?" I could hear a woman's voice, familiar, heavenly and sweet. I tilted my head back, Sarah, but what was she doing here?

"Yes?" I said just smiling at the irony. This must be important, I didn't mind though. She doesn't know I'm head over heels for her, I plan to tell her someday, but not until the correct moment. She is radiant: long brown hair, a nice figure, luscious dark red lips, athletic, with great legs. She had a sweet voice and soothing. A great personality, a good sense of humor and rather comedic herself, an intelligent mind, and a very giving and caring heart. She was wearing a light blue dress, and a shawl to keep her a bit warmer. Hair let down, reaching to about the center of her back. Still she looked cold. She was perfect, in my eyes at least.

Her eyes, her most mesmerizing attribute. Green but fading brown towards her pupil, changing with the degree of light from dark to light. Large eyes, I can't take my own eyes off them when I speak to her. Giving off a glow or, or so it seems, which I only see in people I truly care for. So full of life, white fires burning, eyes of the one I love.

"Steven, I . . . I need to talk to you please. I'm sorry if I'm intruding but I really need someone," she said with great sorrow, eyes to the ground. No longer projecting that ever luminous glow, shadowing my heart. I figured it must be serious and rose to my feet.

"Quite all right, I was just gazing, pondering . . . It's getting cold though, shall we go inside?" I brushed off my body, trying to remove any grass that may have become stuck to me while lying. She forced a smile, still saddened by something. She walked down the stone path and towards my home; I waited for her to arrive at the door, then opened it and stepped inside after her.

Strong oak wood for walls, a fireplace to the right, kitchen on the left, myself standing in the den. Wooden table and chairs in the kitchen, and a few cushions and chairs around the fireplace. Shelves and decorations about the den, not many though. My bedroom though a door by the fireplace, close, so it stays warm.

The fireplace still had a few flames, dying quickly. The house was warmer than outside, but not quite cozy. "One moment," I said and walked over to the fireplace, tossing a few logs on the fire. "Hopefully it will warm up a bit soon."

I took a seat in front of the fire and signaled her to come and sit across from me. She took a seat next to me instead, laying her head on my shoulder. My heart began to pulse a bit faster, her presence was nice, and her body heat warmer than the fire. "So what do you need to talk about Sarah?"

"My father,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

I didn't really add anything to this but I did change a ton of grammatical errors, here ya go.

Chapter 3:

Gathering the Team

I approached Thomas's house only a few minutes later. I walked up to the front door and knocked, I waited a few moments, no answer. "He must be out training," I said out loud. Fortunately, I know his favorite training spot.

Thomas lived in town, but was still rather close to the boarders. I walked about a half mile and found the eastern gates of town. Large stone walls surround most of the town, all but the south eastern area I reside in, the slope is too steep for invasion. The gates are all well protected, and there is a guard about every one hundred yards down the wall on constant watch of attack. The guards all know me and opened the large metal gates.

Thomas's favorite training area is a cave just outside of town. We found it one day, long ago. Sometimes went there to see the bats. That was Thomas's first summon, a bat. I guess he feels attached to the place now. I could here the sounds of his creature as soon as I got out of the town. It sounded like Quetzalcoatl, Thomas still can't contain that summon very well, so he trains with him all the time.

I broke away from the road and entered the forest. Trees were not especially dense here, but you could not see the cave from the road. I heard a great screech, followed by a rumble and picked up my pace a bit. Thomas has been known to hurt himself when training, not intentionally, but he does. Everyone tells him he's going to kill himself with those summons in a cave, but he doesn't care.

I approached the entrance and saw Thomas lying on the ground, breathing heavily. "Thomas, you okay?" I asked stepping into the damp cave. It was nice and cool in the cave, so it does make it a good training spot. Drinkable water resided in pools in various places. We have never gone too deep in the cave, for fear of getting lost.

"Steven," Thomas said, then took another deep breath, "what are you doing here?" He rose to his hands and knees and I helped him the rest of the way up. His hair was matted down with sweat, he looked very tired. He almost fell when I released him and had to grab him by the shoulders. "Sorry, I tried to maintain Quetzalcoatl . . . I couldn't though.

"You will get it one day Thomas, just keep training like you do," I told him. He was still breathing heavily but slowly getting back to a normal rate. "On the other hand, we have a new mission."

"About time, the palace hasn't had anything new for us in over two months," Thomas said laughing. He turned his attention to a frog hopping across the cave. Thomas followed the frog with his eyes until it hopped into a pool of water at the other end of the cave. "So what does the king have in mind?"

"Well apparently there is a corrupted clan."

"Another one, easy," Thomas interrupted.

"Actually this will be our toughest mission yet, Thomas, do not take this clan lightly. Jamie tells me they have creatures called Shadow Dragons that are very powerful. "I filled him in on all the details of the Shadow Dragon clan, and the vision I had had.

"So these shadow dragons are ten times as powerful as Jamie, which is pretty darn strong. I still don't see how you can make a free willed summon. From what I understand necromancers use remains of a creature to reanimate it under their power. More advanced necromancers can only hold a few creatures at a time. Now you are telling me this Hyrocyte guy has created four hundred free willed summons. He would have to find a corpse to reanimate one too, and I have never heard of such a creature," Thomas said, obviously baffled and disbelieving.

"You know more about this than myself, and to me it seems farfetched. His staff consisted of three essences," I said I looked dead into ThomasÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s eyes, for they grew with an even greater disbelief, "I couldn't believe it when I saw it."

Three! That is such an intense power. No mortal being could have any control with three essences!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

I only had time to read the first chapter (I'll read the rest later) That fight scene was absolutely incredible! I loved how you described a few moves in detail and combining it with was the character were thinking and feeling instead of describing just that "they were moving fast and then so-and-so got a knife through his stomach" The fact that the entire fight was really only a few seconds of combat makes it far more realistic.

Later on though you dialouge leaves something to be desired. I can't really put my finger on it but I think it has something to do with the fact that you release so much information at once (I know that I do the same thing). I think it would have worked better if exactly what the shadow dragons were was kept a secret till later.

I loved it. I'll read more tomorrow.

I only had time to read the first chapter (I'll read the rest later) That fight scene was absolutely incredible! I loved how you described a few moves in detail and combining it with was the character were thinking and feeling instead of describing just that "they were moving fast and then so-and-so got a knife through his stomach" The fact that the entire fight was really only a few seconds of combat makes it far more realistic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later on though you dialouge leaves something to be desired. I can't really put my finger on it but I think it has something to do with the fact that you release so much information at once (I know that I do the same thing). I think it would have worked better if exactly what the shadow dragons were was kept a secret till later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I loved it. I'll read more tomorrow.

Wow, I actually never thought of changing that, but now that someone said somethign it sounds like it would help a ton. I will change that right away, not giving away the enemy will really help to build the suspence and the end of the first chapter felt rushed, i bet that will help a bunch. Thx a lot dude

(You see, this is why people need to make comments on stories, lol)

a minor grammar mistake.

The house was rather old, my father had built it.

I think the comma should be a semi-colon.