Ginger_Warrior

If you had, man you'd have been [bleep]ed. Definitely thank yourself in the morning for not making that choice.

Work to live, not live to work. There are obviously limits, but if you'd rather emphasize being successful to enjoying yourself (in whatever way you achieve this aim), I'd argue your life priorities are totally wrong. [/hide] You're making it sound like the two are mutually exclusive. They are, to a limit. Achievements deliver self-esteem, albeit temporary and fleeting. A stable income avoids the trap of poverty. Aside from that, how does the higher grade lead to happiness, when it comes at the expense of doing the very things that make you happier?

Work to live, not live to work. There are obviously limits, but if you'd rather emphasize being successful to enjoying yourself (in whatever way you achieve this aim), I'd argue your life priorities are totally wrong.

Have you been hacked or is this deliberate trolling just a teenage phase you'll (hopefully) snap out of very soon?

Hmm... Interesting one that. Firstly, it wasn't fair of him to say he was fine with an open relationship when she left for uni, when in fact he clearly wasn't. It smacks of accusing her of breaking rules which he himself had demolished. How could she have known how he would feel about it, if that's what he agreed to (and he was with other women himself)? As muggi will no doubt agree on, multiple sexual partners can only work if the jealously and possessiveness isn't an issue. So I'd ask him why he agreed to it in the first place. So he is wouldn't get lonely himself? So she wouldn't turn around and say "[bleep] off, I'm doing it anyway whether you like it or not"? I'd also explore why her having so much more sex compared to himself (the way he exaggerated his own number) makes him feel so insecure. Scared that her expectations are unassailably high? Scared that he's not the only bloke who finds her attractive? Communication is key, and if he feels anxious he should probably admit to it instead of putting up the bravado. For what it's worth, if she had sex 12 times at university, but no relationship between those times, it sounds more like drunken mishaps, or simply trying to fulfill basic needs. Against that backdrop, is it so hard to believe they really didn't mean anything more than what it was? He does need to get over it, but I'd say he should do that by identifying the thoughts and beliefs underpinning his feelings, and work on transforming those beliefs instead of essentially blaming her for failing to meet his expectations.

Can't you negotiate some kind of payment plan to repay the balance, instead of a lump sum? It's surely in their better interests as opposed to chasing you for money which doesn't physically exist.

...is your ex buying you something in return?

I think he knows that he isn't interested in her, he doesn't know how to go about telling her. Honestly, just tell the truth and be assertive. Tell her you're sorry but you don't see her in that way. She'll probably stop texting anyway, but if she carries on being suggestive just repeat more firmly that you're not interested. Sooner rather than later. Nothing hurts the ego quite like false hope. Which is what you're doing by [kitty]-footing around the issue.

Is it any more useless than an article which basically, in simple terms, screams "I'm sick to death of the major devs trying to maximize profit, but thank God they're about to meet their demise because I'm Indie 4 lyf" and yet doesn't provide a single scrap of evidence to back it up? At the very most, all you can argue is they're both as bad as each other. Which flatters your side of argument about as much as it does mine.

The PS4 is the fastest-selling console in UK history. But yeah, it's all about to come crashing down guys.

You're pretty much in the zone there. The key word you use which interested me was 'romance', as in a type of love for another person which is emotionally intimate rather than sexually intense. We're definitely not talking about the latter. The former is very similar to a close friendship, which is what we've been for ages until now. But there's a few points where the two differ. Until now it's been fairly easy convincing myself that we are just close friends but... there are times where reactions and the blatantly obvious betray that facade.

For a university interview, depending on how difficult it is to get into said university, perhaps only the first draft will do. I only did one, very basic draft for my university and I got in fairly comfortably. Honestly though, I'm not going to dress things nicely. Job interviews for senior positions later on in life typically last for a good 45 minutes to an hour. Applicants are also increasingly being asked to give presentations. If you want to prepare properly, it takes a good few days of research and putting things together. But you'll develop those skills with time, don't worry. Focus on the basics first--they'll serve you well--reflect on failed and successful interviews, and take things from there. You'd be surprised just what you can do. Things I thought I would always be too scared or simply unable to do five years ago, I can do quite routinely. I imagine the same is true for many people. It's part of growing up and developing.

I think your advice is very helpful. They want preparation, but not answers which have been obviously memorised through rote learning. Tell her to make a spider diagram or a mind map with five or six key questions that they're likely to ask. Boil the questions down to single words, for example "Why do you want to do this course?" can be placed simply as "Course". For each question, give two or three answers, and again only place them as single words or very small phrases. Do each topic in a different, bright colour. The first draft of the diagram won't be perfect, so make a second draft (and a third or a fourth if needs be) which is tidier and contains more symbolic references alongside the words. For example, if she's interested in cell biology (for argument's sake) instead of rote learning the answer "I want to study cell biology because <blah blah blah>", place a small picture of a cell in the mind map, with two or three lines each giving a reason about why it's so interesting. You could even turn each reason into a little picture, for example "because the subject is a key area of research in healthcare and therefore it indirectly improves the quality of life for patients" could be translated into a picture of a syringe, or a red/green cross, or a patient with a happy face, or the letters "N H S" in blue. The reason "I'm considering a future career in Medicine and studying biology is a good starting subject to start with" could be translated to a picture of a stethoscope or even, quite literally, a bottle of capsules. The pictures make the diagram easier to recall while the structure of the diagram itself allows you to clearly remember the context of the answers you're giving, as well as explore how some answers have connections to other answers (read: this latter ability to cross-reference and compare what two sources are saying is a key skill in university as well). She'll have to recall the mind map in the interview and structure her sentences appropriately, but believe me the delivery will be much more organic and genuine because of it and it's a damn site easier than remembering word-for-word a good three or four A4 pages of answers.

Who's "she"? ;)

I think you mean this?

Come over to Off-Topic. It's just bursting to the seams with RuneScape retirees...

I didn't start out wanting to "bang the hell out of her", nor did I think of a relationship. The first time we met I actually turned down her invite to join her on a night out. That's how much I apparently wanted to "bang her".

I wouldn't have said I'm attracted to all of my female friends, for what it's worth. A few of the people I call friends are post-menopausal and twice my age, although we don't necessarily hang out with each other obviously. Moving away from physical attraction, some of them have qualities I like about them as friends, but also problems that I'd find difficult to overlook as partners.

What's this firemaking you speak of? Is it in a game somewhere? I vaguely remember it... ;)

Tonight we were doing some interviews for new volunteers in one of the university buildings, when a student anarchist group came in to "occupy" the place and stop lectures going ahead in support of our recent lecturers strikes. They informed us what was happening and that they wouldn't disturb us and no violence was planned so we carried on. One of the most surreal hours of my life trying to hold interviews for a religious charity with students dressed in black and red balaclavas patrolling around us demanding an end to capitalist exploitation. :)

#3 sounds very attractive. :) I'm working full-time in addition to normal university assignments, plus doing voluntary work anyway. I've got plenty to keep myself busy with. I know breaking off contact is the easiest and most effective way, but I think I could manage better if I just saw her less. We see each other once a week at the moment, maybe just drop that down to meeting once a month-ish instead. The other 30 days I can focus on developing myself, meeting new people and facing new challenges. My opinion is even when you're in a relationship, you should be following the latter part of #3 anyway. I don't think it's ever healthy for one person to take over a majority of your focus and attention. Last month I was waiting at train station for half an hour, and this homeless guy comes to talk to me... unkempt appearance and two-litre bottle of cheap cider in hand. I'm not one to talk to strangers, but in this conversation I practically held a talking therapy session about his alcoholism and convinced him he needed to register with a community centre so he can have a permanent address for correspondence so he can start claiming social support and getting his life back on track. So, I'd like to think I'd help anyone. I obviously care for her a great deal more, but only because we're friends. I'd offer the same amount of help to my housemates, coursemates and work colleagues if they needed it. When I first started getting myself involved with her personal problems and got "close" it was a total accident, she just broke down in tears one day about something. I saw someone who was feeling very vulnerable and wanted to fix it. She responded in kind when I faced my own difficulties. Things kind of fell from there. It was never intentional for things to wind up this way.

So... I like someone. *Really* like them, been trying to shake it off for a good month and it ain't going. We're close friends. She's already in a relationship, and she's really happy in it. Which I'm genuinely happy for her about, and he's a good bloke. So I'm not going to tell her, be totally unfair. But at the same time, it makes me feel pretty bad about things because I can't tell her. The way I usually deal with this problem is to run a mile away until it just goes. I can't though. She's been going through a tough time, her boyfriend is about as useful as a chocolate fireguard when it comes to feelings. She sometimes needs someone to talk to and sometimes I end up being that person. She'd pick up very quickly if I was trying to shut her out. So... I can't deal with it, and I can't hide. I don't really know what other options I have...

Can't tell if people are sad because Paul Walker is dead or sad because there might not be a F+F7...

I bought Skyrim again recently too. If you haven't played it in a while, the 1.9 patch made things a lot different in terms of how skills are levelled, and you've probably forgotten how to do most of it anyways. The DLC is dirt cheap as well now, so it's well worth another play through. Using that to keep me going until Christmas, when I should hopefully receive the new XCom game. It's what I've asked for anyways, 'coz I can't really afford to buy it properly at the moment. Can't wait for it. :)

You should be done your tests by the time it rolls out I would imagine. It's a minor point, but you can't possibly know that. You don't even know when his exams are. If they're after Christmas, which isn't unusual, your reassurances fall flat. With the bts vid for it next friday it seems as though the world event will be launching ~9th Dec 6 week event takes us right through the ~20th jan A lot of post-xmas exams/deadlines fall right in that window. [/hide] Same here, we got exams from the 13th till the 20th. And again in January some re-take exams (which I thank god for that I dont need to do them as I passed them earlier, and I'm an Athiest!) Yep. Couldn't agree more. This is bang-on, right in the middle of the typical university / college exam season. I know a lot of my friends on other courses have got assignments / dissertation briefs due in the next few weeks, and exams pretty much straight after New Year. Busiest time of the year for lots of people. The only thing to be said is that during the actual holiday periods themselves, RuneScape playing numbers rise dramatically as people find themselves having whole days off to play with, which is typical with other games and other gaming formats. So could people spare four hours then? Yeah, probably. Hard to see elsewhere, though.