Ginger_Warrior

Being introverted is not a weakness. Convincing yourself, as an introvert, that introversion is a weakness which should be 'corrected' in order to become more outgoing is itself a weakness in character. It's also consistent with other posts you've made on this thread, and others, which point to a degree of low self-esteem. Here is something which might help you, over a very long-term and (hopefully) permanent basis, to realize you have much more to offer people than you currently believe. There's other strategies you can resort to if you feel that won't help. Here is a video about the strengths of introversion. Occasionally, it borders on the narcissism which extroverts are commonly accused of, but overall it's a great watch. I've not read the book, though.

Post that opinion on the general board. I await the shit storm that's about to go down. :)

Fear is a rational reaction within context. As in 'I am afraid of sleeping with you because I think it will make things too complicated between us'. Even if you can isolate feelings which you aren't findinghelpful, you can't assume others will share your attitude. Unless he really did just want to have sex with her and to [bleep] with the rest of it; in which case I agree, he's a wuss. I don't get the impression that's really what he was after though, in all honesty.

Can you honestly say, hand on heart, that sleeping with her would have resulted in no strings attached sex, given you've already known her for three months? Personally, I think that would have ended up badly. If you like her apart from the sex, ask her out for a date instead. Can't have your cake and eat it.

Why are you a wuss for choosing not to take advantage of a one night stand?

Super Mario 3D World took away the main weakness of M64, Sunshine and Galaxy superbly; namely, the repeated visiting of the same world (or in Galaxy's case, different bits of the same world). Every stage is different, like a small piece of candy unwrapped every five to ten minutes. I can understand not wanting a Wii U, but it's a brilliant game in its own right. One of the best games I played in 2013, easily.

Speaking of normal Minecraft, I am genuinely in love with the new dark oak trees. They grow like they're on steds, produce 30+ logs per four saplings, and the planks look dense and "sturdy" so it's easy to use them aesthetically in construction projects. Currently in process of designing a tree farm consisting of several glass towers and minecart systems / water canals which deliver the wood to a central point for ease of access. Taking screenshots so I might keep a mini journal here, but it's in vanilla so it might take some time.

What it was at the time was incredible. We take 3D gaming for granted these days that perhaps we don't appreciate what games like OoT and M64 (among others on the PS) achieved. Personally I found Skyward Sword better than OoT, which opens up the proverbial bag of worms in questions. It was an absolute joy to play. To complicate matters further, Majora's Mask is my favourite game of all time. Have fun working that pecking order out.

I read this article and felt so nauseated by it I just had to vent somewhere: http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/raise-expectations-date-hopeless-romanticgentleman/ The article essentially says that women should expect their partners to do absolutely everything possible on Earth to please them, without having to provide anything in return. The whole idea of a relationship being a mutual exchange between two people is totally destroyed in favour of treating one person as an object to be worshiped and obsessed over. The author creates some bizarre and ambiguous distinction between men taking away independence from women due to incompetency[1] and men taking independence from women because, deep down, women get happy when men do perfectly easy and achievable tasks for them unconditionally.[2] The whole thing is premised on this self-defined image of chivalry. I would personally hope anyone in a loving and caring relationship of any description would want to treat their partner with respect and that this would work both ways, but this article seems to suggest it is only something a male should worry about, and even then, it's something only a select 'type' of man is able and willing to give. He states women are independent and capable, yet seeks to remove responsibility away from women providing needs to a male partner in a relationship, or perhaps more productively, women making more of an effort to provide for or lessen their own needs. At the most fundamental and basic level, it justifies the concepts of an objectively perfect 'breadwinner' man providing to a helplessly sensitive woman whose needs must be doted at every available turn or else she has a right to leave and blame the failure of the relationship on her partner not providing enough for her. What it fails to do is make a meaningful or useful attempt to address many of the challenges of what most would recognize as a 21st century relationship between two 20-somethings with two people going to work, earning a similar level of income, wielding an equal level of power. A relationship where both people have needs, and a desire to reciprocate other people's needs, as well as a capacity to trust and be trusted in return. Having started out as a promising endeavor aiming to reduce the influence of sexism and masochism in modern-day relationships, the article ends up being an exercise in convincing impressionable women that they're goddesses who deserve, by the fortuitous default of being a woman and (presumably) being attractive to somebody somewhere, to have their every desire waited on and that only a few men, author included (fancy that!) have the "manliness" to accommodate a "proper" woman's needs. The Suffragette movement, this ain't. 1. We know you are a grown, independent woman who can complete endless tasks without a man’s help 2. But, we want to be the ones who make you smile nonstop

I read this one on my phone at first and was like "Eh, what?" but now I'm on my laptop I actually lol'd.

I'm sure it wasn't solely the alcohol which made it a bad nightOh no, I definitely agree. That was the point I was making. Alcohol consumption in Western society is generally seen as a social activity and, at that moment, it only reinforced the pre-existing idea that I was lonely. To be fair, my life (relationships, money, career) at that time was in total chaos and it's understandable with hindsight why that happened. It was four years ago so it's far in the past now. Things are totally the opposite these days and I probably wouldn't react in the same way. :)

You've moved away from your hometown and discovered the world is far bigger, far more complex and far more exciting than you thought before. You've also discovered those taken-for-granted truths your parents gave you are more debatable now that you've been exposed to life without them. It's only natural that parent-child relationship is going to change because, to state the obvious, you're not a child any more. Expect a lot less mothering and lot more negotiation in future. That's normal, and it's something myself and a lot of my university friends go through every time we go back during holidays. A lot of us don't even stay at home throughout the holidays and return late or come back to university early.

XCOM Enemy Within. The packaging and even the tutorial make it look like a small added content version of the new-gen original, but those additions as well as some small nerfs to the sniper class in particular have given this game a totally new lease of life. You have to be able to advance position *and* kill enemies now which is a lot tougher than sticking every in OVwatch and watching aliens literally walk into their own graves. Definitely a worthy new challenge.

Ohhh, you like this girl. I was trying to work out the connection to relationships. :P

Have you ever been drunk alone? Did it once in my teens when I was hundreds of miles from home, about to drop out of university and feeling very insecure about my long-term future. Possibly the loneliest and most depressing night of my life.

Go on... do tell!

Not replying is still bloody rude though. Just because texting is informal doesn't make a difference to me. Also: post NYE hangover :(

Thanks for the advice, I wasn't really looking for it, more wanting to document thoughts and feelings in a safe space. I don't mean to be offensive if people don't think I listen to it, I honestly do take it into consideration. I know the situation is essentially "You're both fulfilling each others' emotional needs right now and you clearly love spending time with other, which would be absolutely fantastic news if you were together! Too bad she's got a boyfriend, and that's not stopped her from leaning on you because her real boyfriend can't handle that part of a relationship. Although that clearly doesn't stop him from 'satisfying' her and taking her to nice restaurants though!" (At least I've got a sense of humour about the whole thing :P) You're all right, it's a shit place to be and I'm too nice a person to say "He's your boyfriend, let him deal with it". I don't deal well with expressing my feelings generally (it's taken me over thirty minutes to write this post so far!). I tend to do this repression thing where I just pretend to feel the way I think I should feel. My carpet is swelling with the amount of stuff I sweep under it! So I convince myself I'm not bothered about the situation, because I shouldn't be, because if I was bothered reeeally, that would actually be quite dangerous. I guess, on past experience, I'm very wary of allowing my feelings to control my actions too much. But in this case, I just can't see any productive good coming from it anyway. I wouldn't have a clue where to begin with such a conversation. I'm pretty sure she has no idea, though. My poker face is frustratingly good, although it's won me a few £ over the years.

What the actual [bleep]? I'm not sure which worries me more. That someone actually took the many hours of time to create some Plasticine models depicting their deep sense of jealousy, anger and insecurity; or that my classmate's boyfriend thought it would be appropriate to post this onto her wall on Christmas Day...

Spent a few nights staying up late with that girl I was talking about a few weeks ago. It's annoying. It's very obvious there's a deeply emotional connection between the two of us. We talked for four or five hours each night only stopping to make toilet breaks and cups of tea, bouncing energetically and passionately from topic to topic. Our values, attitudes and "mission" in life are almost identical. Some of the stuff we talked about were personal secrets neither her or I have shared with anyone else, so there's clearly plenty of trust and care between us. At times we were quite affectionate, stroking each others arms, hugging each other tightly and cuddling, even getting tearful at times when the other person was talking about something upsetting. We were both very complimentary to each other; she said I was a "great person", that we were "meant to meet" (she believes in fate), even commenting that my clothes and hair were looking particularly nice that evening. Then she starts talking about how she's "fallen in love" with her boyfriend and that she's so happy with what they've got. It feels like a dagger through the abdomen, but on deeper reflection, that doesn't really bother me so much: I'm happy that he makes her happy when I'm not there. What really bothers me is the timing. We had barely spoken for weeks and then, the night after her boyfriend moves home for Christmas, she texts me asking to meet up after work. Then we spend two more nights after that with each other, showing lots of affection to each other. I wouldn't show that affection towards someone I was "just friends" with. I wouldn't go as far to say that I fail to exist while her boyfriend's around; we still keep in contact on a much less intimate basis. But it definitely feels like when he's not here, or when she needs something her boyfriend can't give to her, I'm basically the first person to turn to. I should wrap this up. I guess the reason it's annoying is because, on the one hand, we're clearly very good friends and it's flattering she does feel that comfortable and trusting with me, and I do reciprocate that. On the other hand, it's annoying because... well, you know... I don't think it's a mistake to be keeping in touch with her or even being that close to her in the first place. There are no mistakes in life; only lessons which prevent us from making bad decisions repeatedly. The main lessons I am taking from this are: a) If you like someone and they're single, tell them, because you can almost guarantee that if you don't, someone else will; b) If she likes me that much, other girls will as well and I'd probably be just as happy with them as I think I would have been with her. So I should take confidence from that and use it around other women.

I'm sorry to hear that. I know that it can't be very nice, being caught up in the middle of two parents separating; not least on Christmas Day. I hope either way, it's resolved quickly.

Are you sure you're not mixing a lack of confidence, or a willingness to socialize, with plain ol' simple introversion? It's perfectly normal to feel 'drained' and like you want a timeout in the middle of a party, especially if you're the type of person who likes to listen and absorb what everyone else is saying. That's not a 'problem', and it's definitely something which alcohol should be self-prescribed for as a cure. Maybe instead of going to parties where literally the only focus is to drink as much as possible and get acquainted to as many people as possible, which tends to be your usual student-type party where individuals are constantly molding to the social circles around them, perhaps go to a social event about something you have a particular interest. It takes out all the guess work and pretty much hands you a conversation starter. They're generally much better for individuals who don't feel comfortable socializing with lots of new people they've never met before (in the absence of copious amounts of alcohol), but would rather focus on people with similar interests. tl;dr: You're using binge drinking as a coping strategy for a problem which, in all seriousness, probably doesn't exist and is something you're worrying far too much over.

We can all unanimously agree on that point; we all attend social occasions with dozens of people we don't know, and we all use alcohol to become more 'loose' and worry a little less about what we're saying and what other people think of us. However, when you feel like you have to use it just to initiate a conversation, that's a problem. Another point is that the assumption most likely isn't true. If you can generate good conversation while drunk, and the inherent dehydration caused by alcohol means the brain can't work as well as it might when sober, then you can definitely start a good conversation when sober. If "blaming it on alcohol" refers to you playing the fool in order to start the conversation, that's just as valid a conversation starter as any, so long as you don't come across as obnoxious or pining for sympathy. My point is: you clearly have social skills, so just relax and use them.

If you can see past the mass genocide of red fire ants, this is pretty amazing!

It's not quite cold enough here to have the heating on (we're students, after all!), but at the same time the jacket I take to work isn't dry yet, so I'm going to have to stick it on a radiator and blast it for an hour. They'll kill me when the bill arrives after New Year.