if jimi cried a lot, we'd call him sobtaurian if jimi cleaned floors a lot, we'd call him moptaurian if jimi tried to reverse exponential functions, we'd call him logtaurian if jimi chased cats a lot, we'd call him dogtaurian if jimi made a lot of decisions, we'd call him optaurian if jimi was 6foot-7foot, we'd call him longtaurian if jimi was secret agent #007, we'd call him bondtaurian if jimi liked men, we'd call him gaytaurian if jimi committed a felony, we'd call him badtaurian if jimi tried to commit genocide on the balloon population, we'd call him poptaurian if jimi was good at photoshopping pictures, we'd call him shoptaurian if jimi was a southern farmer, we'd call him croptaurian if jimi had the powers of the Ring, we'd call him the Green Lantern if jimi arrested evildoers, we'd call him coptaurian if jimi liked to spin around in circles, we'd call him toptaurian if jimi was all YMCMB, we'd call him raptaurian if jimi had gorgeous manboobs, we'd call him traptaurian if jimi told dora the explorer what to do for 2 minutes and then refused to help her afterwards, we'd call him maptaurian if jimi wielded a zaap cannon, we'd call him faaptaurian if jimi had the powers of phoenix wright, we'd call him aptaurian