Do you review unfinished stories? I have one called "The Adventures of Jack". If you don't, I'll check with you later.

Well...I wouldn't say biggest ever....Biggest YET perhaps...When the Aura Wars is complete(All 50+ chapters, of increasing lengh) then you can say this was your BIGGEST reviewing task EVER.

 

 

 

On a serouis note. Yes please review the entire thing, as I will be rewriting the majority of it, so what would be helpful is an indepth review...not a half-a-graph on four points of English.

 

 

 

...and I do expect you to review my finished copy as well...of course that may be some years from now.

 

 

 

Also be as hostile and as nit picking as possible...Take your anger out...and help me out at the same time....what could be better?

... Son of two drunken high strangers with AIDS!!!! anyway, like I said on your story, I'm going to post on my story then start reading yours, I will be indepth and so on. Expect it Sat. night if I am able.

You are lucky I am not offended by that....or you would have an earful I can tell you now.

 

 

 

DON'T RUSH IT... don't set your self a deadline that is 2 days away. Yeah I admit you are good...but no one...not even Necromagus...is that good.

 

Well not to write an indepth super review of a 20k word story, that has analysed and suggested(possibly) changes, also commenting on structure laugauage, form and Poetic Techniques....Sorry English teacher moment....

 

But the point is don't rush it. 2 nights is the bare minium I would have given. I was expecting more....Wednesday...possibly even next Saturday.

 

This might be the pinercal and defining moment in your life, where you find your true calling....or it could just be another review...But there is always the chance.

Don't worry, Xewleehr tends to say that a lot. Okay, we indeed review unfinished stories...I'll get to them right now...Curse sylvan learning center and work! I've been busy all day.

Hey Sephy can you review the next chapter in Draggneth please?

 

 

 

Thanks

 

 

 

Curse sylvan learning center and work! I've been busy all day.

 

lolz

Hey Sephy can you review the next chapter in Draggneth please?

 

 

 

Thanks

 

 

 

Curse sylvan learning center and work! I've been busy all day.

 

lolz

 

 

 

Certainly. If anyone else wants a review done by me, please state so, or I'll assume you want the review to be done by the capable hands of Xewleehr.

im not too bothered who does the Colours of War, so long as one of you do it. Its been there for a while now.....

im not too bothered who does the Colours of War, so long as one of you do it. Its been there for a while now.....

 

 

 

PERFECT! More work for me to do (I mean this in a good way, not like "UGH!!! PERFECT!!!). Sweet, after Draggneth comes you. BTW, I like that story. :D

 

 

 

EDIT: And indeed, KCHuges, you have knight status. And this was after a little bit of thinking. However, welcome, and enjoy your title. Just keep in mind you have the power to de-rank your title to a lower level OR raise it higher. To tell everyone how I do this, I take all previous rating score and do the average...So be careful. Okay, here comes some reviews...

I see....Its none of my bussiness of course...but people not find it slightly worrying that a bunch of people from the Library are parading around saying they are Knights...and Dames...?

 

Just sort of thinking that maybe you could:

 

A: make a sort of small Signature type thing to go with the title/s

 

B: get some offical backing, from Forsakenmage perhaps

 

 

 

Just so you don't get those people(like me) who would argue over it being a valid thing....On the other hand ignore me, and nothing might happen...as they saying

 

Nothing will come from nothing...

Here we go...Let's see if you will live up to your current title, or have it brought down into a lower...Or make it higher. Bear in mind you can get OVERSCORE I call it, where you get over 60. However, that's for you to bear in mind, it's your own prize to brag about; to me, that's just a 60. At then end of the year, we will also have an overscore contest to see whom has the highest overscore. The prize? Wait and see (Nothing RS... :-w )...

 

 

 

REVIEW: Draggneth, Sword of All Dragons

 

 

 

Chapter 2.1 - The Big City

 

 

 

Let us begin. The beginning starts off a bit terrifying, when he sees the armor. Here it goes at a speedy pace, to where he passes out, then to being found, then to the hospital for him! :boohoo: But it was quite

 

sad! Ivorr might be dead now? Here is where the sympathetic scenes come in again, and fortunately it fit the story perfectly. Well done. The city of infestation...You know, I hate to say it, the title doesn't fit. I guess that's why ol' Sephy's here! The name, I see it as more of "The Ardougne Legend," as it fits better, in my opinion of course. After all, you are telling of the cities past, and it being a legend is important, for without legend, how would we know the past? Maybe "The Tale of Ardougne," you can replace with either/or or with an original of your own. It's solely up to you.

 

 

 

Score: 59/60 AWESOME

 

 

 

It averaged to this because I disliked the chapter name, and you know how I am with chapter names and relevance...But that's awesome, you should be proud of your perfect grammar/spelling, as always. Let's move on, shall we?

 

 

 

Chapter 2.2 - The Big Discoveries

 

 

 

To continue...No! No! No! We have a few mistakes of grammar and spelling that are hurting your overall average...To start, amazing, not amasing...And when Swence says his last quote before the end of the first paragraph, at the end of that sentence should be a comma, not a period, indicating his fascination towards the sword. Jee, well, that really sucks...But moving on from that dreadful moment...We see revelation, that his friends were both walking past the training camp, and after his vision he ends up in a house...Man, this guy has to fight a greater demon, I feel bad for him...He ends up in strange-[wagon] places and fights! Jeezum. :lol: King Tyras is a jerk, too.

 

 

 

Score: 58/60 AWESOME

 

 

 

I'm glad it didn't blow your score outta here. =D> Gotta give you a round of applause for that. I hope there aren't anymore bad spelling/grammar errors...Anyway, good.

 

 

 

Chapter 3.1 - The Battle

 

 

 

YES! An epic battle scene, where the hero either dies OR kills the villain then enjoys some fries!!! :twisted: The beginning was bumpy for you--it's a run-on sentence, which sucks, but you can fix it with some comma's, after "As the greater demon charged towards Grarth," and right before "as,". Since your flow is excellent, I have nothing to critique. And, of course, your battle scene was good here. So end of critiquing for this. \

 

 

 

Score: 59/60 AWESOME

 

 

 

You''re on a roll! -1 point due to punctuation, but let's see a flawless, huh? :XD:

 

 

 

Chapter 3.2 - The Temple

 

 

 

Critiquing will be hard for this chapter, I read it many times and still can't figure out what...Aha! No, no...You got me. It's really good, the guards won't tell where Tyras is!!! I don't like them. Evil. :evil: Then, I shall calleth this dagger, "Mini-me Draggneth! Buahahahaha!" <-------Expect me to call the dagger this in the future if it appears, okay? :D Silliness aside--they are dead!!!! :cry: I'm reverting to emo! (I'm kidding :shock: ) You make this story sorrowful for poor Grarth, I feel sad...But I refuse to go emo!

 

 

 

Score: 60/60 FLAWLESS

 

 

 

You came back! It was great, sad, adventurous--reminds me of Prince of Persia. That poor, poor, soul...Anyway, you got the 60/60 I was hoping for...Now...

 

 

 

Finish!

 

 

 

TOTAL AVERAGE: 59/60 AWESOME

 

 

 

The Story Average-Facto

 

 

 

I call this the Average-Facto, since I take your previous review average, plus this one, and average them. So the last story, you got a nice jucy 57/60. It felt good, no? Then this one--59/60...Well, let's see what this averages to be...

 

 

 

TOTAL AVERAGE: 58/60 AWESOME

 

 

 

Well done. You have lived up to your title, plus a one point increase. Still a knight, everything is going good for you. Get an overkill score and you increase one class, so your story will go in the queens section, then another overkill will get you into kings, but that's all; after you have to prove yourself to get legend or caduceus legend. From here, I bid you adew, and have a good night.

Okay, I have another. :D

 

 

 

http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?t=522393&highlight=

Are you working on the review on my story? Just checking :D .

KCHughes, llamster, and inverted1, all three of you will have your reviews done today, and inverted1 has been the most patient, so his comes first.

Cha Ching!!!

 

Moved up!!! AWSOME!!!!!

 

 

 

Don't go emo on us yet...

 

 

 

lol... Mini-Draggneth... Very original (Not)

 

(My friends called it that after I finished typing it :XD: )

KCHughes, llamster, and inverted1, all three of you will have your reviews done today, and inverted1 has been the most patient, so his comes first.

 

 

 

I don't want to appear whiny and impatient, but could you hurry up?

All right, that's enough.

 

 

 

I'm officially setting up a new policy; Xewleehr and I have lives, and are not always on the computer. I've been very busy lately, so I've a few rules to establish. I'll put them on the first page later.

 

 

 

1) Patience!: Patience is a virtue, as we say. Uphold it, and we will get your review done. If you are impatient, we will refuse service to you. Llamster, keep that in mind.

 

 

 

2) The review policy: This policy will set up a new road that will give me and Xewleehr ease. I declare it this name because, since I have a life, and Xewleehr as well, we shall set up a date for your deadline. This means, we will set up a day where our reviews shall be posted and done, but they must, and if they aren't...I refuse to discuss that. We may also get to post it any day before the deadline date. For you three who are waiting, I will post them at the end of this post.

 

 

 

3) The ban/refusal Policy: Discussion is allowed here, only on stories. Flaming will not be permitted. Any form of bribery for your story to be done will land you in a ban. Any flaming we will refuse service.

 

 

 

Last, 4) Finish Policy: When your review is done, Xewleehr or I shall pm you to tell you your review is done. If you don't like your review, that's your problem.

 

 

 

And more rules to come later, so nothing else will be wrong.

 

 

 

KCHughes, your deadline is July 17. 2 days bud.

 

 

 

inverted1, July 16, tomorrow.

 

 

 

Llamster, I shall not refuse service to you, but prolong your date to July 19 for your impatience.

 

 

 

Good. We're clear. Have a good day.

sounds fair. i look forward to my review!

So lets say...for instance that you make a deadline, like Xewleer did, that is far too soon to allow you to do what we want you to...can we ask that you spend more time on it?

 

On the flip side of that if it has been some time since the deadline, or you did not set one...can we ask how it is progressing?

 

If you forget do we get to flog you? Errr I mean laugh...Err emmm please don't ban me.

 

 

 

Xewleehr and I have lives, and are not always on the computer

 

Hehe...Its almost believable...

I apologize for being so impatient (despite the first 8 words on my last post). I'm perfectly fine with July 19, I only posted because you said you would be done with it yesterday. I'm extremely upset that you believed I was an impatient person. Again, I'm really sorry.

Okay! I'm back, but unfortunately things have come up beyond the focus of my control! So unfortunately, I will barely have enough time to post in my own story! So! I will review when I can but I will attempt Archimages on Sunday if 'I am able!

how about mine?

how about mine?

So lets say...for instance that you make a deadline, like Xewleer did, that is far too soon to allow you to do what we want you to...can we ask that you spend more time on it?

 

On the flip side of that if it has been some time since the deadline, or you did not set one...can we ask how it is progressing?

 

If you forget do we get to flog you? Errr I mean laugh...Err emmm please don't ban me.

 

 

 

Xewleehr and I have lives, and are not always on the computer

 

Hehe...Its almost believable...

 

 

 

I really am not on the computer all of the time, and when I say deadline, I mean it's due on that date; we can get it to you before the date, and also we slowly work on it for a looong time. I have them all saved, I'm just too damn busy lately.

 

 

 

Not a bad idea...Okay, if we forget, you get to flame us, flog us, whatever. Although my original idea was exactly the same. hehe.

 

 

 

I'm only on for a long time if I'm done with everything else in my day, to write or do something. Okay, to end...

 

 

 

Llamster, I'm sorry about that whole thing...I'll go easy on you, so you have the deadline for the 17th of July too, okay? Either today or tomorrow I'll post it--I'll open the folder and finish it now.

 

 

 

inverted1, your story is so damn enjoyable...It'll be posted soon enough.

 

 

 

archimage_a, I'm sorry to say this but you are banned!!!!! Buahahahahahahahah! Na just kidding :wink: Eat that!

 

 

 

KCHughes, I'll get to work on yours as soon as there's are posted. Mehish for today.

Ok since I am not banned can you set the deadline for the review of Desiral for....between the 1st and 11th of August. I am going to be going away on the Monday 13th, got to go to a Christianity Festival...I am being forced to go...Its not me becoming a Christan...sorry Xewleer.

 

 

 

Xewleer! I said I was expecting it on Wednesday, serouisly there is no rush...Well I would prefer it done soon, but I prefer it more that it is done properly.

 

 

 

I want to get on to the next chapter because I am literally bubbling with ideas for it, but I will probably pour a good deal of that creativity into the rewrite, because of the God based Nature of the the story it makes it really flexible, and the next chapter will be even more flexible. However that flexiblity is dependant on my flexiblity, and that flexablity is dependant on your feed back(AND THE FEED BACK OF OTHERS) because I need to know what you like, and what you dislike. So I can apply that to my own idea of what I think you like and dislike...